Hey everybody! Guess who I heard from the other day?

That's right -- Shaggy! He's been busy writing papers, taking tests, and killing zombies. He misses all of you, as we do him. 

For those of you who may have forgotten, Shaggy is on a quest to become Poet Laureate of the Blogosphere. To achieve this honor, he must accomplish certain poetic feats, which will be judged by the OS Council of Poets. Lately, the Council has been in disarray (see below), but I'm confident that things will be ironed out soon. 

Shags, if you're out there, we're wishing you lots of success at school. Here's an update on what you've missed -- in sonnet form, of course. 

Hey, Shaggy, best of luck on your exam!

I hope you make an “A” on every test

The Council is dispersed and on the lam,  

But each of us sends you his very best.

The Wonderhorse has checked into AA

1 Irritated Mom is hooked on crack

Cartouche is trying hard not to display

The implants that sustain her budding rack.

Drew-Silla is fellating guys for free,

Michelle is giving "pleasure" to an ape,

Monsieur is bedding Mistercomedy,

And I’m in jail for statutory rape.

I'm pretty sure that nothing else has changed

We’re wicked, chic, and blissfully deranged.  

Take care, Shags. We're rooting for you!