Each weekday morning, I review my clinic schedule to see who will be visiting. With just a glance, I can predict the tenor of the day. Certain names evoke joy, others indifference, some dread.
I still remember the first day of spring, some years ago, when my schedule augured a banner day: Opal Hendricks was on the list. I had met Mrs. Hendricks seven years prior to that visit. Her previous doctor had retired and I had assumed her care. She was eighty-one then and not a day younger. Her wizened face was framed by long sheaves of metallic grey hair. Her hazel eyes were large and round like saucers. She had thin lips and crooked teeth, and wore a faded brown dress, which was immaculate. She sat upright with her arms neatly folded. Her hands were arthritic, her legs were like twigs, but when she smiled, she was Helen of Troy.
During that visit, I asked about her health, which caused her to giggle. "I'm fine," she replied. She had the voice and manner of a child. Her eyes were curious like a toddler in the attic. She looked at me as though I had given her a box of candy.
She was not concerned about her blood pressure, which was high. I asked if she had taken her medicine. She replied that she had been without medicine for several months. Her previous doctor had not given her a prescription because she had missed several appointments.
Why had she missed them?
"Because Willy needs me."
"Willy?" I inquired.
With that, she effervesced. Her smile grew large like the sun. Her eyes radiated joy. She lifted her hands like a girl impatient to tell a story.
Over the next hour, I learned about Willy. He was "slow." When he was born, the doctors predicted a short life. That was sixty-two years ago. Now he was well — and happy. He loved to sit by his mother on the porch and watch the cars go by. And he could sit all day long, unassisted.
As I listened, I could tell that his mother assisted him with everything: walking, bathing, clothing, eating. But this had to be inferred, for she spoke only of what he could do. She savoured his every achievement and marveled at his independence. Once, he had almost buttoned his pants. On several occasions, he had correctly used a spoon. And he always recognized his aunt Myrna.
As Mrs. Hendricks spoke, I was drawn into her ethereal world. She was bewitching. With her soft, feathery voice, she pranced from word to word like a fairy. Her bubbly manner and impish tone had an anachronistic charm. She had aged; yet, with her son, she occupied an evergreen world where innocence prevailed. If sadness ever visited, it left no footprint.
To hear her was to enter a realm of verdant pastures and placid lakes. Perhaps her elfish tone was an accommodation to her son's simplicity; or perhaps, by some miracle, her heart was impervious to erosion. I luxuriated in the cadence of her voice and was sad when her story finally ended. Before she left, I gave her a prescription and asked her to return in two weeks.
And return she did -- repeatedly for seven years. At each visit, we reveled in Willy's exploits. He was Achilles in an ongoing epic, the provenance of a legend. Her tale was lush and limitless; her enthusiasm, incandescent. She had the world's greatest job — Willy's mother, exalted and triumphant.
Over the years, Mrs. Hendricks missed only two appointments, both because she could not find a sitter for Willy. But that did not matter. To fault this paragon of motherhood her truancy was unfathomable.
And so on that lovely spring morning three years ago, I was delighted to see her name on the list. As always, she arrived punctually.
I entered the room and turned to greet her -- and upon seeing her, was stunned. She was gazing forward, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her tortured face made me recoil.
"What happened?" I asked.
She responded with the plangent cry of a lamb being devoured. Her eyes protruded as if a ghost had appeared. Her lips quivered; her hands shook. Through sobs and snorts, she muttered a few broken words. Then, slowly, as her voice cleared, she began her lachrymose tale.
Willy had caught a cold. After a few days, he had started to feel better, but then developed a fever. Soon he was coughing and congested. The next morning, he was confused. The ambulance was called, but he fell asleep before it arrived and never awoke.
Her story complete, Mrs. Hendricks fell silent. Her head was bowed, her eyes were closed, her arms outstretched. She was the pieta incarnate. I gazed at her as I would gaze upon the Pyramids of Giza -- with awe befitting a work of ineffable grandeur. That she had been devoted to her son was unremarkable, but that she had subsumed every thought, word, and action for more that sixty years to the care of a disabled child, boy, and man — indeed, to her very soul — was breathtaking.
I tried to comfort her. I told her we would discuss her health another time, but I knew there would be no other time. She would never return.
Three years passed without a word. Then one day, her nephew called to say she had died.
I forwent dinner that evening and went to my bedroom. There I listened to a recording of Beethoven's final sonata -- and journeyed into sublimity. As the piano evanesced, I was transported to the very altar of music.
Mrs. Hendricks's influence had been similarly transcendent. She had been my bard for seven years. My fascination with her, born of amusement, had evolved into a reflection on archetypal virtue. Indeed, to gaze at her divine countenance was to rise above her broken heart, bask in her goodness, and witness the face of Love itself.
*Artwork by Scott Plumbe.
**The patient's name was changed to maintain confidentiality.


Salon.com
Comments
R
Just lovely.
"If sadness ever visited, it left no footprint." ~ I cannot think of a more beautiful thing to say about someone.
I laughed especially at ... bloodpresure.
I loved the manuel BP. It's a Wow Wow.
I remember (O gads on.on.vamc-wack0).
A handheld under the nurse arm - breast.
You know. the old fashion way by - wave.
wacko?
heehaw.
no insane.
good wack.
No DOD WAC.
`
Serious. Your stories are Care. Care is courage.
It's a reread. It looks like the end of the world.
It's white. It must be four feet deep and windy.
Inspiring.
Steve, if I could, I would give you a hug, look you in the eyes and say, "Thank you for sharing this with me."
You come along and give us this beautiful sermon - meant in the best way, of course - about eternal love, loss, grief and complicated redemption.
I can't thank you enough for this lesson, this story, this parable of how life can be lived.
Thank you!
So lovely and so loving: such exquisite joy and sadness. This is why we read, and why we write. Thanks.
This is singular.
I know his woman, she was my Nana. She cared for me, simply. Abused by my father, abandoned at 11, she filled my unfurnished life with books and goodness.
You write well, Steve. Every line builds upon the other, and the portrait you paint of her life, fer devotion, her physicality, is indelible.
As with her, you reveal yourself by describing another: a professional who takes life personally, who knows soul when he sees it, who drinks deep from Good and True and is instructed, uplifted by it.
I am a non-believer, but i wish with all my heart there was a heaven, and that she and her son were there now, delighting in the buttoning of his shirt. Thank you for the great gift of this.
But, tho it was a devastating end to the mother's life, better she should die first than leave her son alone... (I guess.)
I so enjoy your writing.
this will stay with me all day. thank you for that.
what a beautiful post. you are such a dear man. thank you for sharing.
Thank you!
But, just so you know, I don't like to cry so early in the morning.
{[R]}
what a beautiful post, Steve...wow
R
Oh, and the story was beautiful and you told it wonderfully. :)
Oh Steve you are SUCH a great writer, with such a great heart. Beautifully told.
The son lives a life arrested at the point of independence, and so is able to experience the simple joys of life and comfort.
A mother whose most important task in life is extended for a lifetime, where she finds joy in tending to life and giving comfort.
The story of their lives had to end, but the truest tragedy was avoided by the son passing first. That both would agree is certain.
Opal's demise underscored the symbiosis of their near perfect relationship.
She belongs in the Motherhood Hall of Fame.
Thanks for sharing
R
Facing true love - realizing what love really is, is a gift in an increasingly superficial, plastic and materialistic world...you not only know love, Steve but also live love that shows consistently and beautifully through your writing.
rated for two beautiful hearts, hers and yours.
Rated.
They do not.
But you have brought me back to where I long to be, embraced by the warm blanket of love that we all so sorely need and long for. 'Tis a sweet moment to read a piece such as this. Thank you.
Steve this isn't just beautiful as a story, as a fable and moral lesson and elegy, it is superbly crafted.
And despite what one commenter said, there is no waste of life here. This is life fully lived, compassion embodied, suffering transformed.
This is the rebuttal to hate. A post of posts.
And I'm sure she knew what a good friend she had in you.
Yes she was... you sculpted her in words.
Rated
Thank you.
R
Wow, that's high for a non-meta post, I thought.
Then I read. Tears streaming, I understand.
I'll add mine to the rest now.
Excellent, Steve. Excellent
Beautiful.
Your writing is admirable, and the story is absolutely moving. I am happy that you are a doctor, in contact with people, learning from them, listening to them, helping them. I am happy that you are a writer, sharing your stories so finely -the sounds of Beethoven are still in my mind. I´m happy you are here sharing your art and your heart.
Thanks so much for this.
Kisses,
Marcela
(PS: I had missed this post, just came here after reading Greg Correl´s post on Maria, where he mentions you. How fortunate I am for being surrounded by people like you and Greg on Open Salon)
Every paragraph a small jewel...............
This is well told, and of course, well written. You have a whole lot of heart on that sleeve, Doctor!
R
Your words are transcendent. Love in every one........
I am so pleased to read you. Honored to read you.