I'm a selfish bastard.
When I joined Open Salon six months ago, I found literary freedom. No one questioned my choice of topics. No one restricted my hours. No one limited my space. No one charged me a red cent for the expensive technology that allows me to communicate with the world.
And how did I use that freedom?
I wrote about classical music, poetry, health care and travel -- things I care about. Since its inception, this blog has been about me, me, me. That's right. It's been all take and no give. Why?
Because I'm a selfish bastard.
Not once have I written about transsexuality. Not once have I written about kitty cats. Not once have I written about ... (gulp) ... television.
Well, my selfish days are over. Today's post is not about me or my interests. It's about the The Great Cause. It's about -- TELEVISION!!!
Yeah, I know. I haven't watched television since junior high, so I'm not qualified to write about Mad Men or I Love Lucy or whatever else is on the fucktube. But that doesn't mean I can't contribute.
Today I'm giving it the old college try. I'm writing about the last show I saw on television -- Season 8, Episode 13 of Gilligan's Island.
Enjoy!
The episode begins with Gilligan listening to the radio. He hears something that surprises him. I don't remember what. (It was thirty years ago!) In any case, he communicates what he hears to the skipper, who is equally surprised.
The skipper takes the matter seriously. He decides to act on the news. I don't remember how. Anyway, a robot ... or alien ... or something appears on the island. This is unexpected.
The robot-alien is integral to the story. Everyone is engrossed with him. At some point, Mary Ann appears. (Or was it Marianne? Marian, maybe?) Well, anyway, she shows up in shorts.
She says something to someone. Probably the professor. All I remember is having a wet dream that night. Then Tina Louise appears. Everyone calls her Ginger. To me, she is -- and always will be -- Tina.
This is my favorite part of the show. Unfortunately, I missed some of it because I was crossing my legs and hoping mom wouldn't notice... well, anyway, at the end of the show, Gilligan ends up in a super-cool car!
Ginger is standing by the car. She is hawt! She looks AWESOME in her long red dress! Almost as good as in her bikini!
And the story ends with everyone still on the island, and Mariane and Tina looking hot as ever!
Thanks, OS, for six great months! I promise I'll throw you a bone from time to time.
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Comments
In the Fox News parallel, your engrossing robot-alien definitely has to be Obama.
Rated
And I'll stack Buffy the Vampire Slayer up against Bach any day :)
Great Post, Steve. LMAO~
Yes, that was the gist of the episode... well... all of the episodes. I'm partial to the radioactive seeds episode, but a close second is the one with the musical version of Hamlet... "Hamlet, dear, your problem is clear, Avenging thy father’s death; You seek to harm your uncle and mom, But you’re scaring me to death." Rated for Tina!
I'm still gonna blog about Antonio on HGTV today ;0)
Ah the beauty of childhood memories through the filter of a far more devious and experienced mind ...
:-D Certainly not The Skipper, Gilligan or Professor.
I'm guessing somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to invade and take over.
Who's with me?
Considering the placement of "wet dream," photos and comments of Tina, then ending with "throw you a bone," I fear the U of O Lit. Dept. will be drooling to deconstruct you.
Finally! A show synopsis I can get into!!! Thanks Steve!
And I'd throw Marian(ne) (sp?) a bone any day.
Even though I occasionally watch television (hey, they actually broadcast classical concerts on PBS), I loathe and detest fictional "news" and all reality shows. They just don't make *reality* like Gilligan any more.
Please keep being a selfish bastard. (And I won't say a word to Mom about that Tina Moment).
Thanks for being here on OS. You give it style, class, culture, and the weird stuff to shake things up around here.
;)
R.
That TV news woman in Carmel CA named Dina Ruiz (who is currently married to Clint Eastwood) was referred to for years by the local jealous Carmel old ladies as Tina Louise. Proof that EVERYONE watched Gilligan's Island.
Despite years of effort, I haven't yet been able to get that inane title tune out of my head...
Dr. Blevins, I bow in your general direction. And were I you, I'd take cartouche up on her offer. She might have been the original Mary Ann, had she not been, like, a year old at the time.
Didn't they end up being rescued, but the Skipper and Gilligan decided to stay?
And how did the professor keep that radio going for all those years?
...and for those who don't know, the theme for Gilligan's Island has the exact same wording cadence as Amazing Grace, you can interchange the words when you sing...try it next time you're in church!
do you make your patients laugh all the time? I'd love to have a funny doctor. can you teach the med students to be even half as funny as you are? please?
You're a funny, funny man, Steve. Happy Blogiversary. You make my time here on the playground especially fun.
Uncanny.
I hope to read you for six more months and then some.
I blame Ann.
(thumbified for six months of making me laugh)
You are great, Steve, your are the BEST! Where do you get these ideas? Incredible; I was already laughing but when I read the tags, I laughed so loud my child came to see what was going on with a mom laughing alone to the laptop.
Kisses,
Marcela