Top 10 Ways to Die

Borborygmi

Steve Blevins

Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, USA
Birthday: November 05

Bio: Steve Blevins teaches medicine at the University of Oklahoma. He enjoys reading, music, and travel. He is interested in American and European history, French literature and culture, and music for piano and chamber ensemble.

MY RECENT COMMENTS

“All the pics are great. And the award goes to ........ little Asian kid!”
10:48PM
“The line from "Patton" is unforgettable, in part because of how it was…”
10:44PM
“I was born in 1962 in Fort Worth, Texas, and grew up near Dallas. I find skeletnw…”
10:40PM
“I was born in Fort Worth, Texas, and grew up in a town between Fort Worth and Dal…”
10:33PM
“Marvelous! Remember, we must. Thank you, Sally.”
10:29PM

Steve Blevins's Links

New list: Civic Music Association; Brightmusic; Chamber Music; Cliburn Foundation

« Back to Posts

OCTOBER 30, 2009 8:00AM

Rate: 74 Flag

Freaky

10. Colonoscopy gone awry

9. Acupuncture gone awry

8. Face-lift (performed by Michael Jackson's surgeon)

7. Cocaine (in supratherapeutic doses)

6. Clorox intoxication

5. Cardiac arrest

4. Syphilis

3. Autoerotic asphyxiation

2. Waterboarding

1. Having your cake and eating it too

fluorish

Green

Now who's it all about?

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happy halloween (and pleasant dreams)

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Comments

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Move over, Stephen King.

Steve Blevins

October 30, 2009 08:00 AM

In this guy's case, maybe toxic hair dye?

Jeff Brawer

October 30, 2009 08:04 AM

I couldn't stop laughing. The Michal Jackson plastic surgery had me over the edge. Great post, Steve. I'm still laughing.

madcelt

October 30, 2009 08:05 AM

Okay, no - the colonoscopy gone awry is my favorite.

madcelt

October 30, 2009 08:10 AM

you are a splendidly sick puppy.

(loved the little autoeroticized trolly and his/her little foot holes. so sad)

nofrills chunky monkey

October 30, 2009 08:11 AM

I'd love to sit in on some of your classes. I learn so much from your blog. Now if you'll excuse me, David Carradine's ghost wants me to take it to sex addict rehab. ~R~

Chuck A. Stetson

October 30, 2009 08:13 AM

Love your starlet - perfect casting for this horror show!

mamoore

October 30, 2009 08:13 AM

Thanks for the healthy Friday morning chuckle.

Kathy Riordan

October 30, 2009 08:16 AM

Funny. Freaky. Fantastic.

Will there be cake after any of the funerals

Motoring Homeless

October 30, 2009 08:17 AM

Freaky Troll is like Jason, Michael Myers, or Dick Cheney. It is impossible to kill them.

rated

littlewillie

October 30, 2009 08:30 AM

DOC-tor! I'm shocked. I may have cardiac arrest.

Myriad

October 30, 2009 08:39 AM

I know it's way early here but I still kept looking over my shoulder here at work as if some kid was gonna walk up on me and I would have naked trolls on the computer screen.....then the custodian walks up behind me and scared the shit out of me! Thanks for the early morning jump start!!!!

Lunchlady 2

October 30, 2009 08:48 AM

oh my godiverse, i don't even know what to say. does freaky know about this? you are a truly addled man and i love that in a guy. love lvoe lvoe and gratitude

Theodora L'Engle Knight

October 30, 2009 09:01 AM

Wow.

(thumbified. God Save the Troll.)

Jodi Kasten

October 30, 2009 09:22 AM

Somebody should be paying you big bucks for your twisted sense of humor and photoshop skills. Those pictures are worth a thousand words that I didn't have to read to get the laughs!

O'Really?

October 30, 2009 09:31 AM

A little sensitive about the whole butt thing man. Funny.

bobbot

October 30, 2009 09:33 AM

OH, THE HORROR...THE HORROR.........

Michael Rodgers

October 30, 2009 09:33 AM

What about dys-plastic-ia?

OEsheepdog

October 30, 2009 09:34 AM

There something truly disturbing about #5...I'm not sure if it's the excited troll hair, or the frightening leer on the human....

I want to see the "Joy of Sex for Trolls" edited by Dr. Blevins!

bluesurly

October 30, 2009 09:38 AM

Too, too, too. You are a gem!

Lea Lane

October 30, 2009 09:42 AM

Oh man, how hilarious. And sick. Very sick. Rated

KristyCC

October 30, 2009 09:50 AM

WE DON'T HAVE THESE PROBLEMS IN
OKLAHOMA!
Did you get a release from these models?
I'm really worried about you!
Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!

marnehb

October 30, 2009 09:57 AM

Brilliant. How'd you get Freaky to sit for all those portraits? Must've cost you a fortune. In cake.

dcvdickens

October 30, 2009 10:05 AM

It is always about you, you, you, Stevie. However, I can tell you that at least three of these acts has not lead to the indicated cause of death for me. Guess I've just been lucky!

Life Is Great

October 30, 2009 10:11 AM

if Freaky didn't have problems before now these pictures will scare him for life. Hilarious!

Philip Rodgers

October 30, 2009 10:13 AM

Could we see a little more of the cause of the cardiac arrest? For purely scientific reasons, of course.

Stim

October 30, 2009 10:33 AM

Tom Coburn must be Freaky's atteding physician.

OEsheepdog

October 30, 2009 10:46 AM

well.... you're the doctor!

I sure hope you're documenting this compendium of Top 10 ways to bite it for the next issue of the American Jourmal of Medicine, (and the Journal of Medical Ethics, as the case may be)

Blevins, perhaps it's time for a little vacation? just sayin.... 'n all.

Karin Rego

October 30, 2009 11:11 AM

Frankentroll...ha ha ha....

spotted_mind

October 30, 2009 11:19 AM

My eyes! My eyes!!!!!

Owl_Says_Who

October 30, 2009 11:21 AM

That's one droll troll!

Tom Cordle

October 30, 2009 11:30 AM

Dang. You're the boss of the troll today, I'd say.

wakingupslowly

October 30, 2009 11:39 AM

Steve, I'm thinking we may need to tweak your meds... how's your sleep been lately?

Splendid!

mypsyche

October 30, 2009 11:47 AM

Gee, I was kind of hoping for lethal injection, but I may die laughing at this piece. In which case, expect a lawsuit from my surviving family members.
R

john blumenthal

October 30, 2009 12:25 PM

I pissed myself!

Duaneart

October 30, 2009 12:50 PM

Stop your laughing, madcelt, my mother died from a colonoscopy gone awry! Of course, she wasn't a troll. Not a proper troll, anyway.

Didn't mean to spoil the party. I guess it wasn't a bad way to go, all things considered.

Tom Walls

October 30, 2009 01:15 PM

I hope Freaky takes this as the well meant and serious warning that this is meant to be! Perhaps you can volunteer to be Freaky's private physician, Freaky needs 24/7 medical supervision, plus Freaky is having trouble sleeping and needs IV therapy.

Ablonde

October 30, 2009 01:35 PM

I'm gonna die laughing! (God willing) Thanks Steve

trilogy

October 30, 2009 02:35 PM

MERCY!!

Walk Away

October 30, 2009 02:49 PM

I've always wondered what the heck those troll dolls were really all about. They scare me, but this definitely made me laugh.

Dave Robiseaux

October 30, 2009 02:53 PM

Gads they will shut us down. Some parent will deem this dangerous. Loved it.

Stellaa

October 30, 2009 03:10 PM

Ok, I had to come back and compliment you on the photographic skills.

Stellaa

October 30, 2009 03:12 PM

A great way to get into the Halloween spirit! Thanks.

Skeptic Turtle

October 30, 2009 04:59 PM

Thank you, thank you, thank you STEVE! I died laughing.

Kate Bishop

October 30, 2009 05:11 PM

"5. Cardiac arrest " that's my favorite....hot, hot little Troll Doll!

berrycomposer

October 30, 2009 05:44 PM

Hear hear! The waterboarding pic is my fave.

Lonnie Lazar

October 30, 2009 05:56 PM

Fantastic!

AtHomePilgrim

October 30, 2009 06:06 PM

Re # 10 - I just got my time sensitive referral. Thanks a lot!

Stacey Youdin

October 30, 2009 06:30 PM

Kate, #11, reading Steve's posts.

Stellaa

October 30, 2009 06:33 PM

I had to avert my eyes but I believe you.

Silkstone

October 30, 2009 06:36 PM

What a strange and wonderful knot!

Rich Banks

October 30, 2009 07:03 PM

Ha! This is wonderful. Now, what kind of medicine do you teach?

Maria Stuart

October 30, 2009 07:35 PM

Showin' the freaky love?

Monsieur Chariot

October 30, 2009 07:36 PM

In the photo at the top...Are primroses toxic to trolls? =o)

Hilarious pictures, Steve!
Rated

Shiral

October 30, 2009 09:53 PM

::giggle::

merwoman

October 30, 2009 11:07 PM

I can see that you paid attention on your pathology rotation, Steve.

Laughed? I almost died...

Floyd Elliot

October 30, 2009 11:28 PM

You. Are. A. Master. Baiter.

Bravo!!

Sally Swift

October 31, 2009 05:16 PM

LMAO! (I was thinking a night of sake, wild sex and then commiting ritual suicide, would be on the list, but kinda hard to show with trolls! LOL)

Rated for DAMN!

LadyMiko

October 31, 2009 06:26 PM

*eeekkeeee*

What have you done to our Queen????

JK Brady

October 31, 2009 06:30 PM

Now THIS is just HYSTERICAL!!!!!

Outside Myself

November 02, 2009 11:54 AM

Sorry I missed this the other day, although the timing is perfect today. I just survived a "hot yoga class"...can't believe they didn't have me sign a waiver first. I was getting images of that sweat lodge in Arizona during that one hour torture session. Very funny Steve!

marytkelly

November 02, 2009 05:49 PM

Wow, Mr. Blevins! I know I haven't been around that much on OS but you've changed. I was horrifyingly shocked and amused by this piece. But considering it was written the day before Halloween I can understand the "dark" side that lurks in your academic mind. You may be one of the few professors who has an actual sense of humour. Also, #6 sounds very painful! I HATE the smell of bleach. Yuck! A great piece, odd and funny. It made me laugh!

LuisG

November 05, 2009 04:04 AM

No wonder my sister Mary T Kelly loves you so much! I'm doubled over!!! Rated.

Joan Wilder

November 05, 2009 02:37 PM

I had to stop by again for another laugh.

Maria Stuart

November 07, 2009 05:05 PM

I know I've been gone for awhile, but each time I come back I hit your area...and am hugely rewarded!
I want to be killed and eaten by a bear. What number is that???