Borborygmi

Steve Blevins

Steve Blevins
Location
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, USA
Birthday
November 05
Bio
Steve Blevins teaches medicine at the University of Oklahoma. He enjoys reading, music, and travel. He is interested in American and European history, French literature and culture, and music for piano and chamber ensemble.

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OCTOBER 30, 2009 8:00AM

Top 10 Ways to Die

Rate: 75 Flag

 Freaky

10.  Colonoscopy gone awry

11

9.  Acupuncture gone awry

14

8. Face-lift (performed by Michael Jackson's surgeon) 

 12

7.  Cocaine (in supratherapeutic doses)

 17

6. Clorox intoxication

 8

5. Cardiac arrest 

13  

4. Syphilis

 4

3. Autoerotic asphyxiation

5 

2. Waterboarding

7 

1. Having your cake and eating it too

18 

fluorish

 

Green 

Now who's it all about?

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happy halloween (and pleasant dreams)

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Move over, Stephen King.
Steve Blevins
October 30, 2009 08:00 AM
In this guy's case, maybe toxic hair dye?
Jeff Brawer
October 30, 2009 08:04 AM
I couldn't stop laughing. The Michal Jackson plastic surgery had me over the edge. Great post, Steve. I'm still laughing.
madcelt
October 30, 2009 08:05 AM
Okay, no - the colonoscopy gone awry is my favorite.
madcelt
October 30, 2009 08:10 AM
you are a splendidly sick puppy.

(loved the little autoeroticized trolly and his/her little foot holes. so sad)
Foolish Monkey
October 30, 2009 08:11 AM
I'd love to sit in on some of your classes. I learn so much from your blog. Now if you'll excuse me, David Carradine's ghost wants me to take it to sex addict rehab. ~R~
Chuck A. Stetson
October 30, 2009 08:13 AM
Love your starlet - perfect casting for this horror show!
mamoore
October 30, 2009 08:13 AM
Thanks for the healthy Friday morning chuckle.
Kathy Riordan
October 30, 2009 08:16 AM
Funny. Freaky. Fantastic.

Will there be cake after any of the funerals
Motoring Homeless
October 30, 2009 08:17 AM
Freaky Troll is like Jason, Michael Myers, or Dick Cheney. It is impossible to kill them.

rated
littlewillie
October 30, 2009 08:30 AM
DOC-tor! I'm shocked. I may have cardiac arrest.
Myriad
October 30, 2009 08:39 AM
I know it's way early here but I still kept looking over my shoulder here at work as if some kid was gonna walk up on me and I would have naked trolls on the computer screen.....then the custodian walks up behind me and scared the shit out of me! Thanks for the early morning jump start!!!!
Lunchlady 2
October 30, 2009 08:48 AM
oh my godiverse, i don't even know what to say. does freaky know about this? you are a truly addled man and i love that in a guy. love lvoe lvoe and gratitude
Theodora L'Engle Knight
October 30, 2009 09:01 AM
Wow.

(thumbified. God Save the Troll.)
Jodi Kasten
October 30, 2009 09:22 AM
Somebody should be paying you big bucks for your twisted sense of humor and photoshop skills. Those pictures are worth a thousand words that I didn't have to read to get the laughs!
O'Really?
October 30, 2009 09:31 AM
A little sensitive about the whole butt thing man. Funny.
bobbot
October 30, 2009 09:33 AM
OH, THE HORROR...THE HORROR.........
Michael Rodgers
October 30, 2009 09:33 AM
What about dys-plastic-ia?
OEsheepdog
October 30, 2009 09:34 AM
There something truly disturbing about #5...I'm not sure if it's the excited troll hair, or the frightening leer on the human....

I want to see the "Joy of Sex for Trolls" edited by Dr. Blevins!
bluesurly
October 30, 2009 09:38 AM
Too, too, too. You are a gem!
Lea Lane
October 30, 2009 09:42 AM
Oh man, how hilarious. And sick. Very sick. Rated
KristyCC
October 30, 2009 09:50 AM
WE DON'T HAVE THESE PROBLEMS IN
OKLAHOMA!
Did you get a release from these models?
I'm really worried about you!
Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!
marnehb
October 30, 2009 09:57 AM
Brilliant. How'd you get Freaky to sit for all those portraits? Must've cost you a fortune. In cake.
Debra Victoroff
October 30, 2009 10:05 AM
It is always about you, you, you, Stevie. However, I can tell you that at least three of these acts has not lead to the indicated cause of death for me. Guess I've just been lucky!
Sharon Kay
October 30, 2009 10:11 AM
if Freaky didn't have problems before now these pictures will scare him for life. Hilarious!
Philip Rodgers
October 30, 2009 10:13 AM
Could we see a little more of the cause of the cardiac arrest? For purely scientific reasons, of course.
Stim
October 30, 2009 10:33 AM
Tom Coburn must be Freaky's atteding physician.
OEsheepdog
October 30, 2009 10:46 AM
Frankentroll...ha ha ha....
spotted_mind
October 30, 2009 11:19 AM
My eyes! My eyes!!!!!
Owl_Says_Who
October 30, 2009 11:21 AM
That's one droll troll!
Tom Cordle
October 30, 2009 11:30 AM
Dang. You're the boss of the troll today, I'd say.
wakingupslowly
October 30, 2009 11:39 AM
Steve, I'm thinking we may need to tweak your meds... how's your sleep been lately?

Splendid!
mypsyche
October 30, 2009 11:47 AM
Gee, I was kind of hoping for lethal injection, but I may die laughing at this piece. In which case, expect a lawsuit from my surviving family members.
R
john blumenthal
October 30, 2009 12:25 PM
I pissed myself!
D Art
October 30, 2009 12:50 PM
I hope Freaky takes this as the well meant and serious warning that this is meant to be! Perhaps you can volunteer to be Freaky's private physician, Freaky needs 24/7 medical supervision, plus Freaky is having trouble sleeping and needs IV therapy.
Ablonde
October 30, 2009 01:35 PM
I'm gonna die laughing! (God willing) Thanks Steve
trilogy
October 30, 2009 02:35 PM
I've always wondered what the heck those troll dolls were really all about. They scare me, but this definitely made me laugh.
Dave Robiseaux
October 30, 2009 02:53 PM
A great way to get into the Halloween spirit! Thanks.
Skeptic Turtle
October 30, 2009 04:59 PM
Thank you, thank you, thank you STEVE! I died laughing.
Kate Bishop
October 30, 2009 05:11 PM
"5. Cardiac arrest " that's my favorite....hot, hot little Troll Doll!
berrycomposer
October 30, 2009 05:44 PM
Hear hear! The waterboarding pic is my fave.
Lonnie Lazar
October 30, 2009 05:56 PM
Re # 10 - I just got my time sensitive referral. Thanks a lot!
Stacey Youdin
October 30, 2009 06:30 PM
I had to avert my eyes but I believe you.
Nelle Engoron
October 30, 2009 06:36 PM
What a strange and wonderful knot!
Rich Banks
October 30, 2009 07:03 PM
Ha! This is wonderful. Now, what kind of medicine do you teach?
Maria Stuart
October 30, 2009 07:35 PM
Showin' the freaky love?
Monsieur Chariot
October 30, 2009 07:36 PM
In the photo at the top...Are primroses toxic to trolls? =o)

Hilarious pictures, Steve!
Rated
Shiral
October 30, 2009 09:53 PM
I can see that you paid attention on your pathology rotation, Steve.

Laughed? I almost died...
Floyd Elliot
October 30, 2009 11:28 PM
You. Are. A. Master. Baiter.

Bravo!!
Sally Swift
October 31, 2009 05:16 PM
LMAO! (I was thinking a night of sake, wild sex and then commiting ritual suicide, would be on the list, but kinda hard to show with trolls! LOL)

Rated for DAMN!
LadyMiko
October 31, 2009 06:26 PM
Now THIS is just HYSTERICAL!!!!!
Outside Myself
November 02, 2009 11:54 AM
Sorry I missed this the other day, although the timing is perfect today. I just survived a "hot yoga class"...can't believe they didn't have me sign a waiver first. I was getting images of that sweat lodge in Arizona during that one hour torture session. Very funny Steve!
marytkelly
November 02, 2009 05:49 PM
Wow, Mr. Blevins! I know I haven't been around that much on OS but you've changed. I was horrifyingly shocked and amused by this piece. But considering it was written the day before Halloween I can understand the "dark" side that lurks in your academic mind. You may be one of the few professors who has an actual sense of humour. Also, #6 sounds very painful! I HATE the smell of bleach. Yuck! A great piece, odd and funny. It made me laugh!
LuisG
November 05, 2009 04:04 AM
No wonder my sister Mary T Kelly loves you so much! I'm doubled over!!! Rated.
Joan Wilder
November 05, 2009 02:37 PM
I had to stop by again for another laugh.
Maria Stuart
November 07, 2009 05:05 PM
I know I've been gone for awhile, but each time I come back I hit your area...and am hugely rewarded!
I want to be killed and eaten by a bear. What number is that???
gailrae
November 08, 2009 03:55 PM
Very funny, Steve! I didn't even know they had health care for trolls in Oklahoma!
C Berg
November 09, 2009 09:46 AM
Did you put syphilis in for me, you sweet man? Funny, I have the bear fantasy, too. Twisted.
Sirenita Lake
November 09, 2009 03:13 PM
Please tell me that no actual trolls were harmed in the writing of this post.
Con Chapman
November 11, 2009 08:24 AM
Never mind dying, I've never seen so much troll ass as I have in this post. How does she manage to keep it so tight and firm?
Lisa Kern
November 11, 2009 09:25 AM
Died of boredom, waiting for a bus. Opus Dei.
BOKO
November 12, 2009 10:30 PM
Wonderful!! Love them.
Martin Lewis
November 13, 2009 10:38 AM
You're a big, wild cannonball, Mr. Blevins. A big, wild cannonball in a suit.
Beth Mann
November 14, 2009 11:46 PM
Better late here than never! Good grief, you have certainly tapped into your funny, and we all are so much richer for it!

Thanks Steve :)
BuffyW
November 18, 2009 03:27 AM
God, how did I miss this? Rated (and then I run away and hide from Freaky)!
Cymraeg
November 18, 2009 03:34 AM
WHAT THE HELL?!! I missed this! OMG. I'm so depressed now. I'm looking at the tub of buttercream... I dunno what might happen...
Freaky Troll
December 27, 2009 05:57 PM
Now that's funny. Thanks to earth-monkey for directing me here. It was totally worth it.
Damion Chaplin
December 30, 2009 05:02 PM