
On Sunday, February 7, I will be live-blogging the Super Bowl. Although I'm not an expert in American football (cricket is my passion), I am conversant in the subject. Last night, I forwent a dalliance with Salome to immerse myself in the intricacies of the sport. Today, as a preview, I am sharing my insight with those who may be joining me on Sunday. I hope this introduction will enhance your appreciation of the match.

Unlike European ball games, American football is played with an ovoid ball, which is easier to carry and toss than its spherical counterpart. This "football" must be moved by various methods to a predetermined area known as an end zone (a region beyond the finish line). Like cricket, football is a team sport. (If you are unfamiliar with cricket, imagine a Brahms sextet with six instrumen-talists playing harmoniously. Football is similar, except that each team has eleven performers.)
Each performer is charged with transporting the ball in a designated direction toward a finish line. This is not an easy task because the opposing team (there are two teams in a match, though there are many teams in a "league"-- but we are getting ahead of ourselves) – is charged with thwarting his efforts. Should the opposing team be so fortunate as to claim the ball, it will attempt to trans-port it in the opposite direction toward a different, albeit complementary, finish line.
You may be inclined to ask, how may a ball may be transported against such opposing force? Here lies the challenge! Each team has four "chances" to trans-port the ball a specified distance: 9.1 meters (roughly ten yards). Each chance is called a "down." Should the team succeed, it is awarded four additional chances; should it fail, it must relinquish the ball to the opponent. If a member of a given team crosses the finish line, the team is awarded "points." ("Points" are awarded to teams, not individuals -- a rare example of socialism in America.) The team with the most points wins the match.
How is the ball transported? Generally, there are two methods. The ball may be carried by hand or transferred from one individual to another. Transfer is often achieved by tossing the ball in the air. If a performer chooses to carry the ball, he must be prepared to withstand the brute force of a rival who seeks to restrain him and bring him forcibly to the ground. (Think: Mercutio and Tybalt without swords.) (Incidentally, this event, known as a "tackle," has no equivalent in cricket.) If he tosses the ball, he risks having it seized by a rival. Such an event is called an "interception." (Note: four-syllable words are rare in football.)
How is a team organized to achieve its goals? The answer is complex and beyond the scope of this introduction. Just as an opera utilizes sopranos, tenors, baritones, and basses, so a football team employs performers with unique talents. Each performer has a "position," which specifies his role on the team. I will not intimidate you with terminology; suffice it that there are throwers, catchers, runners, pushers, pullers, and kickers. Before each "down," members of a team converse with their leader (the so-called "quarterback"; think: maestro) to discuss a plan of execution. The conversation is brief and occurs in a "huddle," a circular arrangement of team performers.
As in most operas, each football match is comprised of two acts separated by an intermission. The acts are further divided into scenes. The acts are called "halves"; the scenes are called "quarters." (Unlike opera, football intermissions feature music from the contemporary repertoire.) Because football is popular, professional matches are held in "stadiums," theatres larger than La Scala and the Metropolitan combined. Aficionados, called “fans,” may observe the match in a stadium or with a television machine.

During the football season (the term "season" applies equally to opera and football), many teams compete with each other. The two with the best perfor-mance are invited to participate in the most august tournament of all -- the Super Bowl.
This Sunday, Americans everywhere will be celebrating Super Bowl XLIV. (Roman numerals indicate continuity with the games of the Roman Colos-seum.) The two featured teams will be the “Colts” and the "Saints." (Each team is linked with an American city to nurture civic pride. None of the performers actually hail from these cities). The victor will receive thunderous applause and accolades beyond measure. (Think: Radames’s return to Egypt in Aida.)
Please join me on Sunday for this extraordinary event. Whether you’re an aficionado or sociologist, the tournament is guaranteed to delight.
*Update (Feb. 6, 2010): Tomorrow's live-blog has been canceled. I need to go grocery shopping.


Salon.com
Comments
@OES: Your wife is absolutely right. I've always thought that was absolutely hilarious. (I also love--read: hate--how the NFL can have guys involved in murders and steroids and it's MLB that everyone says has an image problem. But that's another story.)
So you see, Dr. Steve already possesses the score of the game.
All I know is that I wouldn't put any money down during that live blog ... just sayin'
Cheers!
{[R]}
RE: ~("Points" are awarded to teams, not individuals -- a rare example of socialism in America.)~ Astute observation, DR.B, and living proof that sports and politics DO mix. I'll "see" ya Sunday.
***R***
“I forwent a dalliance with Salome”
“a rare example of socialism in America”
Forget the live blog. CBs should have you in the broadcast booth.
I suspect your live-blogging will be better than the announcing. You need a podcast. (I need you to have podcast.)
Believe it or not, I actually read this to better understand the game (in addition to the comic relief.) I know nothing about football - or very little - so it was quite helpful! See, look at the good you're doing for society!
You, sir, have a high degree of brilliance of which I most admire.
Meanwhile, did you hear the report on NPR this morning describing the big Cricket scandal? Ball biting! Literally!!!
you are a brilliant teacher and clearly a manly man man.
The COLTS are number one,
We said number one, we said number one.
We're on the move and in the groove to rock to the top.
COLTS gonna make your body rock.
I shall pass on the Superbowl, and maybe listen to The Magic Flute.
Further evidence is the wanton consumption of large slabs of meat and alcohol in preparation for the contest.
someone's gotta *not* say "what 1-Mom said." ~sniff~
Football I understand. Will you please explain opera to me? I will be live blogging Verdi’s La Traviata on PBS while you watch Sunday’s Gladiator XLIV.
No tackling in cricket? I must introduce you to the Cotswolds Full-Contact Cricket League. That village isn't named "Lower Slaughter" for nothing.
Funny stuff sir!
Huzzah and excelsior!
Gotta have a touchdown!
M
O
V
E
Move that ball!
~that should be read by Christopher Walken, too
and definitely
M
O
R
E
Cowbell
It is, of course, unlikely that this example will be rolled out on Sunday, as certain of the words, as well as the subtlety and difficulty of their orchestration combined with the near impossibility of executing sufficient vocal projection of the palatalized "quish" sound are certain to be lost amid the more direct verbal emissions, including "Hey, beer here!" and a "cheer" more in keeping with the spirits-fueled passion accompanying such high-stakes matches, e.g. "Step on his face and twist. Hey!" This may be repeated ad infinitum until an aficionado who supports the opposing team intervenes with equal passion, risking forceable loss of attendance privileges for both aficionados and their respective companions for the remainder of the match.
Rated.
This was hilarious--I almost bust a gut laughing. I'm going to have to stop reading your blog at work!
Rated and demanding an encore!
Now I can sit back in my recliner, drinking a beer and scratching myself with a new found sophistication.
I may even use a line from King Lear when somebody misses a tackle:
Nor tripped neither, you base football player!!!
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Only you could associate football with opera :-)