Borborygmi

Steve Blevins

Steve Blevins
Location
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, USA
Birthday
November 05
Bio
Steve Blevins teaches medicine at the University of Oklahoma. He enjoys reading, music, and travel. He is interested in American and European history, French literature and culture, and music for piano and chamber ensemble.

MY RECENT POSTS

Steve Blevins's Links

MY LINKS
No links in this category.
AUGUST 2, 2010 7:30AM

The Eerie Allure of Anderson Cooper

Rate: 77 Flag

ac  

My wife and I had an argument last week. It went something like this:


Me:   Hi, sweetie. I’m home. Happy birthday!

Susan:   (Watching television) Hi, honey. How was your day?

Me:   Fine. How was yours?

Susan:   Fine.

Me:   Are you ready to go out to dinner?

Susan:   Well, sweetheart, if it’s all right with you, I’d rather stay in. I made your favorite dinner: catfish and hush puppies.

Me:   Yum yum. That’s so sweet. But wouldn’t you rather go out since it’s your birthday?

Susan:   Actually, I’m deep into this TV show. Anderson Cooper is reporting live from the Gulf.

Me:   Any new developments?

Susan:   Yes, they’ve capped the well, but no one knows if it’s going to work. Everyone’s on pins and needles.

Me:   Gee, I hope everything goes okay.

Susan:   Me too. Anderson’s report is excellent. He’s very informative, and he seems to care about the people and the marine life.

Me:   Great. Well, I’m in no hurry to eat. I’ll wait for you.

Susan:   No, go ahead and eat. You’ve had a long day and the show’s pretty long. It’s a special.

Me:   Okay. Well, why don’t we eat out tomorrow?

Susan:   I’m pretty sure part two of the special is tomorrow. Let’s aim for the weekend, okay?

Me:   Okay. (Long pause). Gee, I’ve never seen you so immersed in a TV show. I don’t think we’ve ever organized our plans around TV. Certainly not on a birthday.

Susan:   Honey, we’re in our forties. Birthdays aren’t important anymore. At our age, we should be more concerned about the community and the world.

Me:   I guess you’re right. Still, eating dinner with your wife is a lot better than eating alone.

Susan:   Oh, we eat together all the time. We can always … hold on, sweetie... the commercial’s over... gotta go … there’s plenty of juice in the fridge.

Me:   Okay. Thanks. (Goes to kitchen. Eats dinner alone. Returns twenty minutes later.)

Me:   Honey, do you have a second?

Susan:   Sure, honey. This show has more commercials than show.

Me:   So tell me, what makes this show so much better than the others? 

Susan:   I don’t know. I guess it’s that Anderson is so concerned about what’s happening. It’s not just another news story for him. He feels the tragedy. He’s not overwrought by it, but he’s involved. He’s got a heart, and he cares about what’s going on. He’s a compassionate journalist, not just another suit. He's quite impressive -- and very good at what he does.

Me:   Oh my. Well, that’s quite an endorsement. Sounds like Anderson is almost too qualified to do the news.

Susan:   And what’s that supposed to mean? You know I don’t like it when you’re sarcastic.

Me:   Well, I bet you'd like it if Anderson were sarcastic!

Susan:   (Angry) Well, maybe Anderson is too well-adjusted to be sarcastic. Maybe sarcasm is for petty, jealous people!

Me:   Oh! So I’m petty and jealous, just because I want to take my wife out to dinner on her birthday?

Susan:   No, you’re petty because you’re worried about a TV show instead of appreciating the dinner I made for you!

Me:   I’m worried about a TV show? Me? As you may recall, I was the one eating alone; you were the one lusting after Anderson Cooper!

Susan:   (Gasps). Are you crazy? Are you totally out of your mind?

Me:   No, actually I’m not. And frankly, I don’t mind playing second fiddle to Anderson Cooper as long as I know exactly where I stand.

Susan:   Oh really? Okay, I’ll tell you exactly where you stand: You’re a kind and caring man with a loving wife, and if you don’t realize that, then … wait, the commercial’s over … oops, sorry, another commercial … if you don’t realize that, then you need a new pair of glasses.

Me:   Oh really? Okay, I’ll call your bluff and raise you: Name one quality I have that Anderson doesn’t.

Susan:   This is soooo stupid.

Me:   It’s only stupid because you don’t want to answer.

Susan:   Okay, okay. I’ll play this stupid, adolescent game if it means that much to you. You have… um…a…

Me:   That’s what I thought! I have nothing!

Susan:   You’ve got…a… a…wonderful enduring marriage to a woman who loves you.

Me:   Oh great. Super. I’ve got “marital endurance.” Well, somebody give me a blue ribbon!

Susan:   Did it ever occur to you that some women find “marital endurance” sexy?

Me:   Like who?

Susan:   Like me.

Me:   (Long pause) Really?

Susan:   Yes, really.

Me:   (Long pause). So… you think I’m sexy?

Susan:   I think marital endurance is sexy.

Me:   (Softens) Really?

Susan:   Yes, really.

Me:   (Meekly) Oh… well, okay… all right… well, now I’m feeling kinda silly.

Susan:   You should.

Me:   And embarrassed.

Susan:   You should.

Me:   And petty.

Susan:   You should.

Me:   And… well…(mutters sheepishly) kinda sexy, too.

Susan:   (Kisses me on the cheek) You should! Definitely!

Me:   Honey, I love you -- and I’m sorry for being such a jerk. I don’t know what came over me. Now I’ve ruined your birthday -- and I feel awful.

Susan:   You haven’t ruined my birthday, sweetheart. Besides, my birthday isn’t over yet.

Me:   You’re right. It’s not over. Well, I have an idea. Why don’t we watch Anderson Cooper together. Then, when the show’s over, we’ll go to the bedroom and watch Casablanca. What do you say to that?

Susan:   That’s a wonderful idea! Your ideas are always wonderful. Now, why don’t you sit down right here beside me so we can watch TV together.

Me:   Excellent!   (Sits down and puts arm around Susan. Watches TV. Anderson appears. He is broadcasting from the Gulf in a tightly fitted shirt that accentuates his physique. He is well built, but not ostentatiously muscular. His voice has a boyish charm, but his premature gray confers maturity. He is empathetic, but not effete; informative, but not pedantic; firm, but not overbearing. He is “easy on the eyes” and has an androgynous appeal. His baby blue eyes are ignited by the evening light reflected off the Gulf. He is disarming -- 360, and then some.)

Susan:   (Kisses me on the cheek) I love you, honey. Thank you for being so understanding.

Me:   I love you too, sweetheart. Happy birthday. By the way, have we ever considered going high def? 

Author tags:

anderson cooper

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
The "comments" button was accidentally turned off for a couple of hours. I'm not sure how that happened. Sorry!
"eerie allure", yes I can see it. Na, he's too pretty.
Steve, you sound like a fortunate, well-adjusted couple.

Just pray Oklahoma doesn't suffer some catastrophe worthy of live Anderson Cooper reports. In that case, you may want to keep close track of Susan. ;)
Susan takes a lot of grief from you, Steve. One of these days, she's going run off with a traveling salesman.
Your italicized description nails it, I think: he's Aristotle's Golden Mean personified, not too much this or that, avoiding extremes, safe, nonthreatening but not easily dismissed as a lightweight. He is the Goldilocks of news reporters: he's just right.
Does your wife know that there is a very strong rumor out there that AC is, well, DC?
ow ow stomach hurts from too much laughing...
Eerie is right. I left this comment on a post about a hypothtical Viking attack on a rural village:

When I first saw your headline I thought this was breaking news. "Rural Village Looted and Pillaged; Authorities Looking For Several Dozen Crazed, Blood-soaked Norsemen." If CNN covered it they'd send Anderson Cooper out in one of his tight black t-shirts and he'd walk around the smoldering remnants of the village, stepping over hacked corpses and speaking earnestly into the camera, not a hair out of place on his head, but man, he would be so earnest about it, and extremely sensitive to the needs of the villagers in the aftermath of this senseless tragedy.
Anderson Cooper probably turned it off, you know how he hates competition.
Fun read, Steve. I'm sorta with your wife on this one. Anderson is the sort of guy that can make a lesbian consider converting.
Just hope that Cooper doesn't start reporting from your living room on the "myth of the enduring marriage". Of course, if you drag enough tornadoes your way he very well might. R (and he's gay, so she'd never have a chance).
I used to have a thing for AC too, until I noticed that his mouth looks like the Grinch's mouth. Eerie indeed. Congratulations on your "marital endurance," Steve. This was hilarious.
"360 and then some." ::: @@ :::
As long as Susan doesn't decide to volunteer for Gulf clean-up....
really? the guys just a bit too neat and clean for my tastes. i like a lil more edge and mussed up hair in a man.

oh..and heterosexuality...yeah,i kinna like heterosexuality in a man too.
Been thinking about it, and have decided that he resembles a very highly-engineered android. Complete with synthetic tears.
I am writing this during a commercial of The Simpsons. Great...wait the shows on! Oops, no it isn't. It's another commercial. R-
anderson might report on this.
Personally I think Anderson's best report was an article for Details magazine. He wrote about reviewing his mother's, Gloria Vanderbilt, draft of her memoir. The report began:

I used to think there was nothing worse than imagining your own parents having sex. I was wrong.

You know what's worse? Learning your parents' sex life is more interesting than your own.

text
Sorry. I should've given "text" it's own name. At least the link works.
Why's this son of the original Poor Little Rich Girl such an irritant to cable viewers? No savvy.
I always feel as though I know what AC is going to say before he says it. Still laughing!
He seems like a good genuine guy, and with his clean good looks and massive massive wealth- attractive to me, at least

Loved Kateasleys connection to Gloria.
Well, i seem to be all out of "witty" comments this morning. Funny post (as usual) Steve
Just goes to show; couples that watch AC together, stay together. Maybe I should go out and get myself a TV now...
He moonlights as M-M-M-M-Max H-H-H-H-Headroom.
I think you already have an affinity for him yourself because his two half brothers are from his mother's marriage to Leopold Stokowski.

Btw, our son attended the same school as their kids, Gloria often picked them up, occasionally accompanied by "Uncle Andy." We spent quite a bit of time chatting while waiting in the school's play yard. Darn, I wish you could have been there. Don't tell Susan, but... oh, never mind.
This is freakin' cute as hell! :)

-R-
Excellent. The essences of married life and 24-hour news coverage. You have it, Steve! Marital endurance, that is.
This is so funny . . . and Anderson does have universal appeal, with a certain compassionate gravitas. Love this: "Well, I bet you'd like it if Anderson were sarcastic!"
I've had the Anderson-Cooper-appeal conversation with a couple of my female friends. But as lorianne says, since heterosexuality is not among his many admirable traits, it sort of deflates the fantasy. No pun intended.
This is great, I've often considered trying to script some of the arguments that go on around here, but I'm so bad at diologue, it wouldn't translate well.

I actually don't watch Anderson Cooper just because he's so...I think Steven Colbert once described him as looking like "a shiny new dime." I have nothing against him...seems like a great guy. I just can't get my hard news (whatever that means anymore) from a guy who looks like that.

Rated!
I read this the the first thing this morning and my comment is missing. Or I screwed up, which couldn't possibly be the problem. Now I can't remember what I said, but do remember I was here. (twice)
Happy Birthday to your wife! I love listening in on yalls conversation and thinking just how sexy it is, Mr. Blevins that you two appreciate this kind of banter.
OMG though.... Anderson Cooper... *salivates
heh. I guess AC is really 360.
Okay, well he does have the most magnificent shade of blue eyes...however, he talks too fast for me. Honestly! He sort of verbally traces words but with enough emotional variation that you know what he's saying without actually understanding a word of it. This makes me feel inadequate, so I don't watch him much. But what REALLY scares me is that I can understand every word Ozzy Osbourne utters! I hope your wife had an outstanding birthday....she certainly has an outstanding husband AND an outstanding first name :)
Nothing "eerie" about those baby blues!
oyez. Keith should take a tip and ditch those loud window-pane suits once in a while. just think what an 1890's horizontal stripe french sailor's wide-collar blouson would do for his yummy shoulders.

I tried the tight blue shirt deal a few weeks ago. Popped a button, nearly put the dog's eye out.
Never trust someone who has two last names, like Anderson Cooper.
R
Props to his haircut. Bet that cost. I also wonder why there's no published photos of a shirtless AC... or any of him out and about in casual company. He's got a tight cover life going for him. The NYE countdown with Kathy Griffin had him nervously giggling like a schoolboy. It's the only time I've ever seen him un-nerved. She wasn't terrifically funny, but I only had eyes for him! He was much more entertaining to watch, all giggly and unable to run off.
Read, and almost died this morning. Then pondered as to why the comments were closed. Luvya Stevie Blevins!
He pulls off smart where too many talking heads can't manage that even with a script. You on the other hand don't need a script at all to showcase your smarts.
Okay, okay, you caught me ogling.
I've seen this guy when pet sitting for friends. Can't help liking his looks--a lot! He's "hot"!
R for giving us a good laugh
Steve,
The oft whispered (not-so-secret) secret, is that you have nothing to worry about regarding Anderson Cooper. Your wife, however, might want to keep you and he apart.
You've described it exactly -- his appeal. And I agree that marital endurance is nothing to sneeze at. I mean, I'd laught at it, but not sneeze at it.
This was hilarious. He's cute but come on, what's with the hair?-R-
You know, as cute as he is, he kinda creaps me out, too. And you captured both aspects here to well! Good work, Steve, as usual!
Yup the je ne sais quoi of the Vanderbilt lure! Don't even try to fight it...there's simply no escape! So funny, Steve! (...and I would have pegged you for your 30s) Great stuff, my friend! ;} r
and he knows how to dress
You are absolutely soaking in talent...it's in your pores.

Anderson Cooper....meh..another mildly handsome in a non sexy way talking head. I don't get the appeal.

Now Rachel Maddow, though...there is some hot geek fabulousness.
I'm always stumped by the fact that he's Gloria Vanderbilt's son.
Funny, as always.......and he is a little light in the loafers for my taste. Never liked overly coiffed guys, and the overly sensitive shit makes me wonder..........

Just in case you want some tidbits to share with the, clearly delightful, wife.

You on the other hand.........
Late, but love it! "Empathetic, but not effete." Hee! Dead-on great post, Steve!
The man has been advised expertly on visual appeal....but holds not one whisper of a candle to you Steve....
Eerie is Anderson's resemblance to Erik Prince... The truth might favour you in the long run.
You better watch out. I hear Copper is turning into a tornado chaser, working with the Oklahoma University School of Meteorology for some training.
Oh my goodness...

Hilarious!

Anderson is charming....there is no doubt about it...but, I would say your sense of humor is quite sexy too!

Your wife is a very lucky lady...
:)
My dear M. Blevins: For what it's worth, I find you much more alluring than Anderson Cooper. Eerily so.
Love this delightful post. My daughter knows AC and, yeah he's eerie.
I had no idea that he was the son of Gloria Vanderbilt...
I went to IMDB and looked him up. One of the main reasons I like to go there is that they most times have personal quotes...
Here is one I think sums it up...

Going gray is like ejaculating: you know it can happen prematurely, but when it does it comes as a total shock.
-anderson cooper

I was not a fan before, now I think I might be...
Make sure to put me on the list for the fan club mailings.
You are hilarious!!r
Having just passed my 33rd anniversary with little fanfare I think "marital endurance" strikes me as a perfectly descriptive phrase. The hardest part is when you hit "The Wall"
As for Anderson, he seems like an earnest young man and he's definitely smarter than Geraldo and his reporting outfits are impeccably cool.
So, what I want to know is, which of you moans "Anderson" in your sleep?!?