Persistent, usually painful erection of the penis, especially as    a consequence of disease and not related to sexual arousal. 

[French priapisme, from Late Latin priapismus, from Greek priapismos, from priapizein, to have an erection, from Priapos, Priapus, the Roman god of procreation, guardian of gardens and vineyards, and personification of the erect phallus.]

            "Good Lord," the mortician said, as the corpse of Luke Lightening was rolled into the embalming room. "What an unfortunate situation."

            The well-known professional wrestler had always bragged about having tattoos on every part of his body below the neck.  In fact, just before his tragic bowling accident, the 318-lb giant had updated his will to include a request that in the event of his death, his body was to be laid out in the nude so that during the viewing, everyone could marvel at the works of art that covered his corpse.
 
             Billy, the mortician's assistant sounded skeptical when he said, "I heard it was the priapism that caused the accident -- what are you going to do -- tape it down?"

            There was a lot of artwork on that penis. This job would be the most difficult in the history of the North Carolina Mortician's Association. "Maybe we'll make CNN,"he remarked.

            The mortician sighed as he said, "I wish I had gone into furniture sales." -- N

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Clairvoyance (klar-VOI-uhns) noun

   1. The power of seeing things removed in time or space.

   2. Intuitive insight into things.

Haruspicy (hur-RUS-puh-see) noun

   Divination by inspecting the entrails of sacrificed animals.

[From Latin haruspicium, from haruspex, from hira (entrails) + specere (to look at).]

An ancient Roman priest who performed haruspicy was called a haruspex. The liver was the popular organ of choice in haruspicy.

[From French clairvoyance, from clair (clear) + voyant (seeing), present participle of voir (to see).]

            Maraj’s caterer Vickie was unusual – but in a good way. Calling up Maraj for the first time in days, Vickie breathlessly announced that she now had clairvoyance, that she could know things before they happened. Maraj sucked in her breath then asked excitedly, “Is Hello magazine going to cover my party?” 

            Vickie tried to hide her disappointment in Maraj’s reaction to her astonishing news. “Probably -- but wait. Listen to what I’m saying. I was washing the organic, free-range, but-still-dead chicken livers for the bacon-wrapped livers with prunes, right? Suddenly it was like I was standing in front of Brad Pitt and I am not even kidding.”

            Now Maraj’s interest was piqued. “Wow. Was he in the future? Was he at my party?”

            At least Maraj realized how amazing this was. “No,” Vickie said, her voice lowering to an almost conspiratorial whisper, “He was in disguise buying diapers in…. I think he was in San Diego.”

            Maraj was enthralled. “So you’re psychic all of a sudden? What was it like??

            Vickie replied, “I think considering what was going on at the time, it was haruspicy. I looked it up.”

Maraj immediately wanted to know if Brad Pitt had spicy hair. “That could be yummy."  – N

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Background: 

Along with countless other people the world over, I enjoy my subscription to A. Word. A. Day. that results in a daily email message with interesting, sometimes completely unknown-to-me words, along with pronounciation guide, etymology typical usage and more.

The New York Times hailed AWADmail as: "The most welcomed, most enduring piece of daily mass e-mail in cyberspace."

One day way back when, I decided that for learning, it would be helpful and fun to use the words AWAD sent to me in a sentence or two. Of course I found myself going beyond that and using them in not-so-obvious ways that entertained my friends as well as myself. Sometimes I use words incorrectly on purpose. But if you know the meaning, you get the joke. It is kind of a backward way of doing things, but that's creativity, right?

The first character inspired by AWAD was Maraj (not her real name.) She has quite a few fans. At the encouragement of several persistent friends, I decided it was time to share her and the others with my new friends here at OS, and begin on the first day of 2010. 

I'm offering vocabulary words I received from AWAD and what I wrote to practice using them. Tell me this isn't a much more fun way to work on improving one's vocabulary. Enjoy. Maraj and more will be back – and check out www.wordsmith.org to sign up for the free subscription. They don't know me, but for fun tell them I sent you. Like OS, it can be addictive. -- Natalie