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Vainglorious (vayn-GLOR-ee-uhs) adjective

            Filled with, exhibiting, or proceeding from excessive pride, especially in one's achievements or abilities.

[From Latin vana gloria (empty pride), from vana, feminine of vanus (empty) + gloria (pride, glory).]

Psychopomp (SY-ko-pomp) noun

             A guide of souls, one who escorts soul of a newly-deceased to the afterlife.

[From Greek psychopompos (conductor of souls), from psycho-, from psyche (breath, spirit, soul) + pompos (conductor, guide).]

Contumely  (KON-too-muh-lee, kuhn-TOO-muh-lee, KON-tuhm-lee, -tyoo-, -tyoom-)  noun

             Contemptuous or insulting treatment arising from arrogance.

[Via French from Latin contumelia (insult), probably from con- (with) + tumere (to swell). ]

Risible (RIZ-uh-buhl)  adjective

             1. Laughable; ludicrous.

             2. Disposed to laugh.

             3. Relating to laughter.

[From Latin risus, past participle of ridere (to laugh). Other words that share the same root are ridiculous, deride, rident, and riant.]

Paean (PEE-uhn) noun

            An expression of praise, joy, or triumph, traditionally in the form of a song.

[From Latin paean, from Greek paian (hymn of thanksgiving to Apollo), after Paian, Paion (epithet of Apollo in the hymn). ]

Buridan's ass (byoo-RUHD-uhnz ass) noun

            A situation demonstrating the impracticality of decision-making using pure reason, especially a situation involving two equal choices.

[Named after French philosopher Jean Buridan (1300-1358).]

Jactitation (jak-ti-TAY-shun) noun

            1. A false boast or claim that is intended to harm someone, especially a malicious claim by a person that he or she is married to a particular person.

            2. Involuntary tossing and twitching of the body and limbs.

[From Latin jactitation (tossing, false declaration), past participle of jactitare (to throw out publicly, to boast), frequentative of jactare (to throw about), frequentative of jacere (to throw).]

            The weather was perfect. Taking one of the ferries of the Alaska Marine Highway System is a low-key, very enjoyable way to travel from Bellingham, Washington to Haines, Alaska. Sure, cruise ships are nice, but ferries are much quieter, travel closer to shore, which provides better opportunities to see wildlife – and passengers can park their cars below deck.

            While enjoying her second Alaska ferry trip ever, Natalie sat outside on the main deck with a book and a cup of steaming, hot tea, looking for grey whales returning to southern waters or for killer whales, also known as orcas or sea wolves because of their hunting methods. Her lap covered with a fleece blanket, and with gloves in a pocket in case the air became too chilly, Natalie felt the world had slowed down. It was wonderful.

            With a risible sigh absolutely commanding attention, an exceptionally lovely woman wearing clothes more suitable for the temperatures of the Sudan sat down in a chair next to her.

            The woman, obviously, was unhappy and Natalie, never having been a wallflower, asked what was wrong.

            "I don’t even know where to begin," the woman said, appearing close to tears.

            "I’m sorry you’ve having a problems," Natalie said, concerned. "What’s your name? I'm Natalie."

            "Looking slightly perplexed, the woman replied, "You don’t know me I guess, which is weird." Apparently willing to suffer that strange circumstance, she continued, "I’m Maraj and usually people know me."

            The vainglouroius introduction was amusing as well as intriguing. Natalie put away her signed copy of Füsun Atalay’s memoir A Will of My Own and prepared to listen to Maraj’s troubles. 

            "So what happened?"

            Maraj sniffed and began with, "You know how how men are.  They tell you they married you and then you find out they were making it up."

            Under raised eyebrows, Natalie replied, "I have to say that particular situation is new to me. Is your husband, or non-husband, on the ferry? Ah... Was alcohol involved?"

            Maraj looked annoyed. "NO, he’s not on the ferry. YES I thought we were married. I THOUGHT we were going on a real cruise ship, not this low-rent water thingy – and only the best champagne was served, of course."

             There was no way Natalie was leaving for the cafeteria now. Her tea could go cold.

            "So you are the victim of a jactitation," Natalie murmured. "That’s awful."

            "Oh no, Maraj corrected, "I can do that to myself just fine, thank you, and probably much better than he could, but we had a ceremony preformed by his best friend who is a psychopomp or something having to do with robes -- and he was in charge of the circumstance, the nupitals or whatever they're called – I mean we stood up for the ceremony. No one stood up with us."

            "I see. What kind of ceremony was it?"

            "Well I didn’t even want to get married to begin with," Maraj explained. "I could get married or not get married. Nothing would change, obviously. But then we were having a really nice evening with loads of Cristal…"

            Interrupting Maraj, Natalie pointed to Maraj's hand. "That is a natural emerald, isn’t it? I’m sorry, but that is gorgeous. It’s the largest set emerald I have ever seen."

            Maraj looked at her hand with the fabulous ring on one finger. "I know. It distracts me too. It really distracted me when he gave it to me and I snagged my sweater with it. Anyway, I guess I was too busy having a good time to pay all that much attention to what was going on."

            A bald eagle soared above the ferry in the twilight as a few passengers began to set up tents for sleeping on the deck under the stars.

            Maraj continued with her tale. "Kinne said I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, I mean of course, and that he wanted me to marry him above anything else. I wasn’t doing anything special that day, so I guess I did it."

            "You guess?"

            "Well, I was kind of tipsy and he said something about avoiding being a buried ass."

            "A buried ass?"

            "Yeah, he said it was better to not think, to skip the buried ass – and I sure don’t want my ass buried. Have you looked at what I am wearing? Dirt will never come near this oufit."

            Natalie felt a headache coming on.

            "I wonder if he may have actually meant the term Buridan's ass. Maybe in his own way he was saying that he loved you married to him, or not married to him, that it was all the same. You think?"

            Maraj seemed now to be a little less anxious.  "All I know is that I woke up on this boat with this ring, a whole lot of money in my overnight case – and with a ticket for passage to Fiji. Maybe a night with me was a bit overwhelming. I don’t know. It’s happened before. A lot of men don’t really know what they are doing in bed, do they?"

           Natalie bit her lip and pretended to drink her now absolutely frigid tea. Although not all that excited about hearing the answer, she had to ask Maraj if she had a cabin.

            The answer was no.

            Being nice to her unexpected, contumely guest seemed like the right thing to do, so Natalie offered to share her cabin with Maraj, who seemed to believe she was on her way to Fiji -- which of course would explain the clothes.

            Once Maraj came to grips with the fact that that the ferry system did not offer room service, massage therapy or shopping opportunities, Natalie offered to help Maraj take her luggage to the cabin, which was outfitted with bunk beds.  She could not envision Maraj sleeping on one of the sofas or in the solarium in a sleeping bag.

            As it turned out, however, on the way to the room Maraj met a handsome Tlingit Native Alaskan from Sitka and never made it to the cabin.

            While in her bunk, late into the night Natalie heard the wonderful, paeans of a humpback whale, whose free, wild and excited songs sounded a lot like…

             Wait a minute…

             It became apparent that Maraj, with her new friend two cabins down, decided she was not married after all, or that she would let the situation, including information about the Alaska destination Natalie was fairly certain remained unknown to her, sort itself out later.

            Maraj was going to end up in Natalie’s journal. Absolutely.

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Background: 

Along with countless other people the world over, I enjoy my subscription to A. Word. A. Day. that results in a daily email message with interesting, sometimes completely unknown-to-me words, along with pronounciation guide, etymology typical usage and more.

The New York Times hailed AWADmail as: "The most welcomed, most enduring piece of daily mass e-mail in cyberspace."

One day way back when, I decided that for learning, it would be helpful and fun to use the words AWAD sent to me in a sentence or two. Of course I found myself going beyond that and using them in not-so-obvious ways that entertained my friends as well as myself. Sometimes I use words incorrectly on purpose. But if you know the meaning, you get the joke. It is kind of a backward way of doing things, but that's creativity, right?

The first character inspired by AWAD was Maraj (not her real name.) She has quite a few fans. At the encouragement of several persistent friends, I decided it was time to share her and the others with my new friends here at OS, and begin on the first day of 2010. 

I'm offering vocabulary words I received from AWAD and what I wrote to practice using them. Tell me this isn't a much more fun way to work on improving one's vocabulary. Enjoy. Maraj and more will be back – and check out www.wordsmith.org to sign up for the free subscription. They don't know me, but for fun tell them I sent you. Like OS, it can be addictive. -- Natalie