Natalie K. Munden

Natalie K. Munden
Here and there in Alaska & Montana, United States
May 09
I am a writer. I think.
Sure. I'll make tea.
I guess I have always been an accepting type of girl. Life is all about trying. Sometimes laughter is the only medicine. I am often, as I like to say, creatively confused. Although I am what some would describe as accomplished, I want to be a better being. I love as I try. • My work posted here is of course copyright Natalie K. Munden. • Oh, and did you know that some people take drugs in order to experience vertigo ON PURPOSE?



Natalie K. Munden's Links

OCTOBER 9, 2011 1:30PM

Whoreville's OC: Dinner for the Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Rate: 13 Flag


It seems I am not as forgiving as I thought I was. My instinct for this Open Call was to invite all my K-12 teachers, the bad ones and the good, including my mother, who home schooled my sister and me for the first few years of grade school as we traveled. Once everyone was seated, the loud sound of automatically locking doors and windows would shush the room so I could explain.

After welcoming everyone and letting all my guests know the dinner would be wonderful, I would reveal that the purpose of the gathering was beyond eating fine food and very much focused on educating the lousy teachers in the group about their failings. For their less-than-able-to-teach dinner companions, I would encourage the guests who are dedicated and talented teachers, and thus unattacked, to use the red pens and ruled composition books at every place settng to write suggestions for how to be an effective and encouragaing teacher. If they wanted to mention body odor or other issues, I would be fine with that.

Addressing each guest, I would thank those who inspired and taught me. There are many. In fact, at least once a month my 6th-grade teacher and I talk on the phone. Note that I was in 6th grade in the 1970s…  Pat was a great teacher and is a wonderful friend.

Addressing the teachers at the dinner who made life much more difficult than necessary, I would say I learned not from them but in spite of them.

<i>Ms. S from Seaside Heights: It was probably your first year of teaching, but adding to the homework list until the class finally quieted down did not inspire me to learn; it made me feel punished.

Mr. A from Lavallette: Swallowing regularly so that your spit doesn't build up in your mouth is a good idea, as is wearing clean shirts that do not easily form sweat rings. You were a nice guy, but your personal issues were extremely distracting!

Mr. M from Butte: Giving me an F on my very first English assignment when obviously I was taught how to diagram sentences in a different way, made me despise you. It was my first F. I felt awful and spent the rest of the year working furiously so that I finished two weeks early for every quarter and had the opportunity to sit and stare at you all day. Yeah, yeah. SRAs. I started at tourquoise. Been there, done that at other schools because my family traveled a lot. I almost had the SRA stories memorized.  If you had thought to have even the briefest of conversations with me, you could have shown me how you preferred sentences to be diagramed and all would have been well, with me earning an A on the 2nd try at that first assignment. Also, it really bugged me that you said "ray-road" instead of "railroad." You must have known I was bored out of my skull. Why didn't you give me something else to do? It was pure torture.

Mr. R from Butte: When I asked you a question in algebra class, it was not because I had vision problems. "Can’t you see that? What, are you BLIND? You're in ALGEBRA now…"  You are the only teacher who ever made me cry in class. I used to love math until you entered my life. I think you were a coach, forced to teach in order to be a coach. I tried making appointments with you before and after school, but you said you were too busy. Fortunately, another teacher in the building very generously helped me with my assignments for a couple of weeks and my grades skyrocketed. She was a teacher. You were a miserable, ugly person.

Mr. Y from Butte: I thought I would give geometry a try, but on the first day, when you seated all the girls in the front of the room and stared at our crotches, I knew I was doomed to walk away forever from classes involving numbers.</i>

Fortunately, all the other people at this fantasy table are true educators. They love kids, they love teaching – and they know how to make subjects, even those that are more difficult, interesting, exciting, and fun.

Even if it makes me a bad person, I have to say that during this dinner I know I would enjoy watching red pens move furiously as the nice, creative and talented educators wrote notes for the dunderheads.



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I hope the jerks soon recognized their limitations and moved on to other careers. Of course, if the coach was a winning one he'd probly still be there. But something tells me he was just as bad a coach as he was a math teacher.

Great idea, Natalie.

P.S. How about your shooting teacher? ;-D
I think I had Mr. R, he wasn't a teacher, that's for sure. "You're going to be in this class till you're 65!!! You're too stupid to be taught!"

Yeah, thanks, I love you too!!! PFFFFT!!!!

I think when they turned West Junior High into an Elementary school, he got transferred to East, I know he didn't get moved to Butte High School, thank god!! 8th grade was a bitch with him, 9th was pretty good, Algebra that year, I turned out a B!! Wooo! :D
An interesting revenge plan. R
Oooh. Brilliant. What a movie this would make. You could hire that butler with the bad hand who keeps rubbing and touching the food with that bad hand. ...
Sounds like a great idea to me and I truly empathise. If we weren't on opposite sides of the pond I'd think we had the same Math's teacher.

I left teaching ten years ago under a cloud, but I like to think the little ones I taught grew up to remember me with affection. My own teachers taught me how not to treat children.
@Matt: I wonder if any of his students on the field ever called out, "
What, are you BLIND? You're in FOOTBALL now!" Actually, I don't know what he did when he was not in the classroom. i just know that he didn't teach while in it. Thanks for the comment!

@Tink: Oh, I hope he wasn't a teacher of yours. If so, you didn't deserve the experience either!

@Trudge: Thanks. When I saw the open call I immediately thought about how nice it would be to dine with intellectual greats, but I was late. Others had already described that situation perfectly. So what else? REVENGE! :-)
@Zumalicious: I could certainly envision at least a dream sequence in a film script. Thanks for coming by!

@Linda: Fortunately, there really are wonderful teachers out there. We just happened to find ourselves with ones that were less than worthy. I would like to think that in my story, the good teachers rather enjoyed the opportunity to correct the bad teachers! Thanks for the comment!
I can think of a bunch of people I could invite, and then LEAVE and lock the door.

Sigh. but they'd probably just sit around and badmouth me.
@Myriad: Locking them in is an interesting thought. Your level of resentment must be a tad bit higher than mine. LOL
Why waste a good dinner on undeserving people? You are who you are in spite of them.
Yep, that is a cool idea, Natalie. It is always good to see you posting. R
@Fusun: Thanks for your support, but in this case I might be 80% angel, 20% question mark. ;-)

@Thoth: Thanks for reading and commenting. I rated your recent post days ago, but have not yet felt up to tackling all the topics and pathways in your post to come up with intelligent feedback.
"I can think of a bunch of people I could invite, and then LEAVE and lock the door."

And then burn down the room???


@Tink: The Nazis already did that sort of thing. Please re-consider. It would NOT look good on a résumé.
Natalie, but it just be a bunch of mean old teachers(with nicknames like Watt the Twat, who by the way, should be dead anyways but I bet is still teaching --- she been teaching since 1902 or something!! :D), a handful of politicians and possibly, the ole fart down the street who keeps shaking his fist at me everytime I go piddle on his roses!! PFFFT!!!

Your response to the open call is very original and interesting! I experienced a few of the same teachers. I wish all teachers understood what an important role they play in the lives of the children they teach. Some are apparently just clueless -- or, if they do understand -- sadists.
@Tink: Consider switching to marigolds. They sort of smell like cat pee anyway.

@Bellwether: Thanks for the comment. I had to say I agree there may be sadists in the classrooms as well as in any situation where people have power over others. I am not too shy to complain about it at least! I suspect you aren't either!
Great idea for a post. I remember all of my grade school teacher's names except 4th grade. She was a dunderhead who taught us a lot of wacky stuff, like, "gravity is caused by the earth spinning so you want fly off." Einstein and Newton would have thought that interesting. R
The good ones truly make a difference and often do no know it. The bad ones are often as oblivious. We've all had both. Great post.
Noirville: Thanks. I hoped the concept would appeal to you.

Rodney: I left off the list a poor gym teacher who taught incorrectly mouth-to-mouth resuscitation in 9th-grade First Aid class. She neglected to turn her head to inhale fresh air to breath into the CPR dummy. There she was, not even using her nose, her mouth never moving from the dummy, inhaling and exhaling carbon dioxide into what, in a real emergency, would be one dead dummy. I don't blame her. She was probably told the night before that she had to teach the subject, and for no extra money. As for the teacher who taught you about gravity, I hope SHE fell off! :-)

Paul: Thanks for the read and the comment. I hope your good teachers were great, and your bad teachers only temporarily in the district.
I can't sleep in the States.

I slept great at the Seashore.

Sea waves make people Snore.

I just saw you Rated tr ig's Son.

Maybe he flunk geometry class.

We people need a big wine jug.

Canadian use a bottle of rum.

If they can't sleep they drink.

Fishermen carry big rum jugs.

They put a jug in bib overalls.

They dance at the senior prom.

My music teacher said I flunks.

She said I'd no amount to a thing.

She hurt my feeling. Ay, Fun read.
I think mine are all dead. I will check it out at the next class reunion. On the other hand...they may all be dead. What a great idea..........I've fantasized about having a black tie event with all the old boyfriends. Trouble is: ... I think mine are all dead.

Me? I'm still kick'in.
@Art, your poem ending with hurt feelings. So did my time with that teacher. Seems nearly all of us have a similar experience!

@Ande, Thank you for visiting. I loved your comment. Funny!