Once upon a time there was a fluffy orange kitty. Though he looked sweet he was sometimes very, very bad. He stole condoms and things like that. He swiped items made of lace and rubber and fleece. In the mirror he spit and puffed up, trying to appear as the meanest of beasts.
At night he yowled and looked for many mates, once getting his collar hooked on a tailgate.
When the dogcatcher caught him, the kitty was mad. He thought being caged with pit bulls was really quite sad. The orange kitty named all the puppies in the pound. Not very nice names truth be told, but this kitty was fearless and bold. He was so unafraid he hissed and scratched and bit the jail master. What was usually a short stay looked like a disaster!
At the last minute, before the needle went in, the orange kitty's mommy paid the fine. Her hands shook as she grit her teeth and wrote a check for two hundred seventeen dollars and a dime.
On the way home to his comfy, pink pillow the kitty purred and purred, and purred. He thought maybe he should stop pooping in mommy's shoes. Maybe.