My theory is that Barry Bonds (allegedly) turned to steroids because he didn’t have a good nickname.  Or at least one that could be printed in family newspapers.  “Bondsy?”  Yes, “Bondsy” was as good as it got, a nickname he carried over from his skinny da/… Read full post »

Eddie's worked at our office for, well, damn near longer than anyone.  His title is "Messenger,"  the bottom of the office hierarchy.  But, frankly, he's the one indespensible person here.  Besides the "go-fer" jobs, he keeps the office in supplies, takes first crack at repair job… Read full post »

Gentle reader,

I come before you, a man whose childhood dreams have been broken or left unfulfilled, beaten down in the dust of time.  I will never play professional ball.  I'm too old to be the rock star dripping with nubile groupies.  I'm happily settled down, never to pursue the car… Read full post »

Ruffles brand Cheddar & Sour Cream potato chips has passed Doritos brand Nacho Cheese chips on my list of favorite pseudo-cheese flavored junk food.

 Thank you. Read full post »

My innocence you are taking tonight.

Belt stripped cleanly as I tear at your lace.

Husband not home made passion ignite.

Spreading thighs encompass my sight.

Your gushing fountain drenches my face. Read full post »

Move over, Nate Silver.  There's a new forecaster in town.

About five days before Season 8 of Dancing with the Stars began, I wrote a post called Know the Winner Through Over-Thinking.  As my two readers may (probably not) remember, I presented my criteria for predicting… Read full post »

I have no recipe for this post.  Awhile back I rediscovered, after many years, that I like parsnips.  I chop whole roots into manageable pieces and toss a few into a salad.  Or into the bag of raw veggies I take to work as part of my lunch.  For dinner at times… Read full post »

 My mouth to your joy

Oh how you glisten under

The subtle moonlight

  Read full post »

Dave Arneson who, along with the late Gary Gygax, created Dungeons & Dragons died April 7th after battling cancer for two years.

There's probably no need to delve into the history and influence of D&D.  That account has been written many times by people better versed than I'll ever be.&n… Read full post »

Remember that “giant sucking sound” that Ross Perot kept hearing?  Actually, it came from my office last Friday.

My desk collapsed into a singularity.  Those stacks of files and paper finally did it.  I casually tossed a completed IRS Form 706 on the last, mostly clea/… Read full post »

A heartfelt farewell to one of my favorite shows --

  Read full post »

I know who the new champion of Dancing With The Stars will be.  I state this with all the self-confidence of a Tom Friedman predicting events in Iraq. 

I don’t pretend to know the first thing about dancing, much less ballroom dancing.  I did take a ballroom dancing class for… Read full post »

All in step now --

... I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd

... I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd

... I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd

The March of I'ds.

Good Night, folks. Read full post »

This entry began as a comment to Saturn Smith's excellent post arguing for Eric Holder to open investigations into the Bush Adminstration's (alleged) crimes.  The comment got out of hand. 

Read full post »

"Exit Music (For a Film)" by Radiohead.

I don't want to speculate on why the lyric "We hope that you choke" is especially repeating in my head.  "Because it's the emotional climax of the song"  -- yeah, I'll leave it at that. Read full post »

Every year the Baseball Writers' Association of America ("BWAA") votes to elect inductees to the National Baseball Hall of Fame.  To qualify for election, a player must be retired for at least 5 years.  To be elected a player must be on 75% of the ballots cast by the BWAA.  As lon… Read full post »

I bought a copy of "Shadow Country" by Peter Matthiessen this afternoon.  I don't know where to put it.  It's not like I purposely went out thinking, "You know what would really make this a great day?  A copy of Shadow Country."  Or any other book.  I wasn't even at a… Read full post »

Photos taken at the Samburu National Reserve and the Masai Mara National Reserve in Kenya.  Although the final photo doesn't feature a calf, it does show the proximity of land rover to elephant when we were with a herd.  You can get close, but not nearly so close to a yo… Read full post »

A non-poem in non-verse from a non-poet.  By Stim.  Thank you.

Today I Got Older

Today I got older.

How many is this?  Cliches started coming:

Old man, so many candles, that much closer to death.

And those were from friends.

The balloons, they were nice.

The greetings, well wish… Read full post »

I stand slack-jawed. 

“What do you mean …?  How can you be 23, living in this country, and not have seen The Wizard of Oz?” Or, responding to a shrug of the shoulders: “Rick?  Ilsa?  Casablanca?”

Another shrug of the shoulders and a shak… Read full post »

Do you remember your 8th grade summer reading list?  I don't.  I have a hard time remembering 2007.

So, last year I kept a list of the books I read.  This decision came from a need to answer two perennial questions:  "I know I read that, but when?" and "What was it about… Read full post »

Please stop sending little Christmas cookies to the office.  Please.  You know they're sitting right there in the break room next to my office.  I can't help but pass them everytime I need to get coffee or water or use the restroom on the other side of the break room.  Please… Read full post »

Sometimes you just need to sit down. Read full post »

The "Nearly" in the title is of utmost personal importance.  The thought of having spent a full 10 years as a pastry chef at this certain Chicago Continental-style (actually German) bakery ... psychologically, double digits would've driven me mad.  I escaped 3 months short of the dreaded de… Read full post »