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or things I learned because I had to


February 26
Your average inconsistent X'er I used to care very much about being a good Republican, but I don't know what that means anymore. I now focus my energies on writing about growing up, the politics of Animal Welfare. I volunteer. I organize fund raisers. I do my best to raise awareness about cruelty, gay penguins, stupid people who keep wild animals as pets and showing funny cat videos. I also write extensively about my family who would probably laugh about this blog, then choke me (but not hard enough for it to be a felony). You can also find me at:


Sueinaz's Links
MAY 20, 2010 3:49PM

Itchy Balls Open Call

Rate: 14 Flag

Dear friends and writers, 

I am writing today to ask for an open call that addresses an issue dear to my heart: Public Ball Scratching. 


While I agree that the "how much stuff can you shove up your ass" open call was a fine writing challenge.  We already know it's inhumane to shove a gerbil in  a sphincter, so it seems a mute discussion. Also ass-stuffing has been such a widely discussed topic here on OS and other places - it's just not controversial or edgy enough. 

Here are some topics we really need to discuss: 

When is scratching or adjusting balls in public ok? 

How familiar should you be with a woman before you make 6 adjustments in her presence?

theharbls-1.jpgIn What ways could it impact your career if you discuss your itchy balls with your coworkers? Supervisor?

When should you point out that itchy balls may be a medical problem? 

funny pictures of cats with captions 

 When is it ok to tell someone that their incessant scratching is distracting to the point of ridiculousness and they really need to work from home?

Is it ever ok to confront a ball scratcher about his  behavior while holding a giant pair of scissors? 

 Update:  Some definitions for OS.

 Lets talk about Harbl = Harbl is a common internet meme that joins the words hairball and balls, and commonly refers to the un-neutered male cats. Extra RRRs can be added based on the size of the Harbl. For example if referring to a giant male area one might write



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Tink is going to be soooooo jealousing on this one, except for that last part.
It is a phenomenon not to my understanding, the baseball guys on national TV making casual and many adjustments. I laughed out loud on this.
Whooo. I thought I would get banned from OS for my many pictures of cats with intact boy parts.
Sometimes the boys just need a quick scratch or readjustment. It's much worse if the taint is itchin'. There's no quick, much less socially acceptable, way to relieve that irritation.
thanks for clarifying stim
Sue, you might PM Tink about this. One of his relatives may well be in that photo spread. He's sensitive, you know.
Stim, aren't there topical applications for that?

Adorable catz (tho they really need to get 'fixed').
yeah, I think Orange cat is actually Tink's half brother, or at least that's what he said before he started licking.
Hey how did you get my family reunion pictures?? OH MY GAWD!!!


**Goes off to do some itchin** Yeah, yeah, you call it masturbation in your world! TEEHEEHEE!!!
hilarious! i hope it hits the cover!
This is too good for the cover! xoxoxoxo.
All good questions. Yes. I promise to answer. Shortly. Or soon. Sometime. What language is "harbl" from? Much could be deduced from knowing that, possibly. Leave no stones unturned. Or unscratched.
OMFG! This is too damn funny . . .

Hubs has only "adjusted" one time in my line of vision and it was so funny I didn't pay attention. Hehehee

Henry I've updated my post to answer your question.

the more you know!
You add me as favorite; I'm happy to do the same for you.
Ah. Thank you, sueinaz. Information is indeed a factor in areas's of little expertise. Of course the internet would be a valuable source for greater harbl understanding amongst we to whom here we seek to reveal the blinding light of discovery. And so let us all now examine with a closer interest these harbls and feline emulators in harbl care for a better understanding of the questions heretofore unraised, and for this increasing scope of expanded knowledge we owe a debt of gratitude to you for your unrelenting pragmatism and quest for greater knowledge in raising questions oft thought best unexamined.