Sometimes I feel compelled to  review and occasionally respond to the spam that filters through my "junk mail" folder. This particular letter, is simply entertaining and artistic. I just loved it so much that I needed to share:

 It's a final notice from the FBI. Oh No! 

For the purposes of clarity I am just italicizing the text of the spam. 

 ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORY CRIMES DIVISION

FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J.. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001

Attention:

BENEFICIARY,

You are to contact the ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC)Lagos, Nigeria  to obtain the Clearance Documents, find below their contact information's:

Contact Person: Rev. Andrew Kelly

 Who knew??? The FBI operates on foreign soil AND has a Reverend as my contact person.  This must be very very serious. 

PRINCIPAL STAFF OFFICER ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC)

Rev Andrew Email: andrewkelly40@gala.net

Lagos Office Address 15A Awolowo Road, Ikoyi, Lagos Nigeria

Ensure you contact them(EFCC) with your Full Name,Address and phone number/cell number.

Contact the EFCC via Email with the information above immediately,once you contact them i will get back to you or else i will have an agent come visit you at home for questioning.

An agent will visit my home? Damn. I hope he/she understands how to capitalize, because you sir evidently do not. 

Furthermore, be advice that according to the United State Law together with the FBI rules and regulations, you are to obtain the document from the EFCC OF Lagos Nigeria  where the fund was transfered from. Also Note that you are to take care of the cost of the Document, which will be issued in your name. due to the content of the document and how important and secured the document is, you as the beneficiary will send to the EFCC OF NIGERIA the sum of Usd250 Dollars only for the issuing of the document right away and your Usd1.5 million will be release to you, That is the lay down rules for EFCC OF NIGERIA to release such sensitive document, EFCC will issue you the authentic and original copy of the documents with seal on it for verification and approval.

Yep. This sounds totally important, particularly when I see they plan to "lay down rules" and tell me to send money to Nigeria. Then again I stand to get 1.5 million dollars. Hmmm. Tempting.

You are here by advice to Contact them through the email address above to make an enquiry concerning how you will send the official fee to them. Note that you are to observe this immediately, if you really want your funds to be credited to your personal bank account and to avoid any legal battle with the security operatives over this matter... We have already informed the EFCC OF NIGERIA about the present situation, go ahead and contact them immediately. Your fund is under our custody and will not be release to you unless the required document is confirmed, after that the fund will be release to you immediately without any delay.

NOTE: We have asked for the above document to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for no criminal justice purposes. The documents will clarify the intensity of this fund; exonerate it from money laundry, scam and terrorism.

My favorite line in this is:  avoid any legal battle with the security operatives over this matter...

WARNING: failure to provide the above requirement in the next 24 hours, legal action will be taken immediately by arresting and detaining you as soon as international court of justice issues a warrant of arrest, if you are found guilty, you will be jailed........ As terrorism, drug trafficking and money laundering is a serious problem in our community today and the world at large. The F.B.I will not stop at any length in tracking down and prosecuting any criminal who indulges in this criminal act. FORWARD THE DOCUMENT TO US VIA EMAIL ATTACHEMENT AS SOON AS YOU OBTAIN IT. No body is above the law and the law is not a respecter of anybody. We presumed you are law abiding citizen whom would not want have scuffles with the authority, in and outside America.

OH NO, they are going to send me to jail. 

We are charged with the responsibility of implementing legal norms and our authority is irrevocable so dont dare dispute our instruction, just act as instructed.The person you know will not help you in this matter rather abide by this instruction. the funds inquestion was depsited by those people that contacted you.

WOW, they tell me: " dont dare dispute our instruction"

Note:   You are to contact them (EFCC) with your full names,phone number/cell number and full address via their email which i stated above immediately for the processing of your Clearance Documents within the next 48 hours.

Faithfully Your's
Robert S.Mueller 111
FBI Director
Note contact the EFCC office: andrewkelly40@gala.net

The "Faithfully Your's" is a nice touch. 

You have less than 24 hours to contact them.

CC. TO:
Supreme Court of the United States
U. S. Courts of Appeals
U. S. District Courts
U. S. Circuit Courts
Courts of Special Jurisdiction:
Bankruptcy Courts
Court of Claims, 1855 - 1982
U. S. Court of Federal Claims, 1982 -
Customs Court, 1890 - 1980
U. S. Court of Customs and Patent Appeals, 1910 - 1982
U. S. Court of International Trade, 1980 -
Commerce Court, 1910 - 1913
Territorial Courts
Courts of the District of Columbia
Temporary Emergency Court of Appeals
Judicial Panel on Multi-District Litigation
Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court
Federal Courts Outside the Judiciary

 Overall, I think this spam letter is an A+

1. Threaten to send me to jail via the FBI

2. Mis-spellings, typos

3. Nigeria 

4. Mention terrorism

5. Offer me millions of dollars for the small sum of 250 dollars

6. Use a reverend to collect money

7. Make references to "legal stuff"

8. Make references to  lots of judiciary organizations in the US.

So in return I sent them this ecard... I hope they like it.