I can remember a time long before we married when he didn't openly criticize every little thing I did, and I loved him.

Then there was:

"Do you have to do that?" and

"Why can't you?" and

"Wear the black pants" and

"That's not how" and

"I can… Read full post »

WASHINGTON—According to the findings of a recent Department of Health study, the Health Czar’s Healthy Nation Program that teaches Americans to avoid all contact with doctors is quite effective in combating rising health care costs.

Abstinence-only health care programs started as grass-r… Read full post »

 I have written a list of handy charges to levy against Obama so as to seem agreeable when speaking to those who seem to think he is responsible for all of the ills in the world. I dedicate this list to my darling mother who said “Your President is why I… Read full post »

At the San Francisco zoo (of all places) a couple of gay penguins named Harry and Pepper have been making quite a few headlines. As Magellan Penguins, these majestic boys fashionably wear black all year long and have a few opinions on a certain fellow named Bruno.… Read full post »

Many years ago I worked for an early internet company, which made a lot of money in the “adult entertainment” industry. At the time my job was to created un-indexed ghost pages loaded with the smarmiest words and phrases imaginable. My lists included every conceivable mis-spelling of sex… Read full post »

Reading the Right-Wing Watch (featured on the right) I discovered a delightful clip of Rep. Sally Kern, explaining how to cure all the ills of America through strict adherence to, obviously, the HOLY BIBLE (all caps). She wrote a proclamation, here is how it begins.

WHEREAS,… Read full post »

Shocking viewers across the country, reality show parents Jon and Kate Gosselin announced were going to spend time with their children.

"I kind of miss them," said a tearful Kate Gosselin. "I  have been so busy with my book and getting pedicures I’ve really only been home about a half… Read full post »

I’m conflicted. I’m splitting my time today trying to decide which pressing internet issue deserves my attention. I have 3 outstanding event invitations for the TEA Party Arizona glaring at me from my facebook account. However I recently discovered a Japanese website about a cat th… Read full post »

Dear "Graduate" Student,

First I want to thank you for emailing me your thesis and giving me three days to read and review it before your defense.  I understand that you must defend by the end of the week so you can "go on vaction with a clear continence".  I further… Read full post »

 Dear Zooborns.com,

Of late, I have found myself seeking happiness and joy looking at baby animal pictures. I would like to  take a moment to discuss animals - particularly baby animals that I would like to hug and are also endangered.  Let us discuss the rare Fennec Hare.

Recently Zo… Read full post »

Dearest Mommy,

When I was little I frequently called you Mom-mu after Shamu the whale.   I suspect many years later that this is still coloring our relationship because it has recently come to my attention that we don't exactly have the best mother daughter relationship. I'd like to address… Read full post »

 On December 19^nd while getting ready for a holiday party I tried on my “party pants;” classic black silk wide legged pants that I bought at goodwill years ago. I pulled them out of the closet, they looked fine. I started pulling them up and noticed, well they seemed like they… Read full post »

Dear Nephew,

I realize that you will be turning 4 in a few short weeks, and are now almost old enough to sit through an entire episode of Dora without asking for something to drink or flinging your little body on the floor just because you can. I, and your parents,… Read full post »

On September 10th 2001, around 9PM at night I watched Last Night on IFC. In the film it is 6PM and the world is going to end at midnight.  I didn't know it at the time but my world ended  the next morning. 

The premise of the film is… Read full post »

Names changed (so I am not beaten to death)

Alice started "the diet" eight months ago and has lost roughly 80 pounds.   She's so pretty I never thought of her as anything but the gorgeous girl in the office. She has an infectous smile,  and is just lovely to… Read full post »

Last night after work I was cleaning the bathroom mirror with vinegar, something I regularly did in the pre-layoff days. Back then we used paper towels without thinking,  when spilling a little windex on the floor didn't create a sudden opportunity to  mop. (Ah the garden time before the la… Read full post »

It's day 7 after the awesome interview, and day 39 of the layoff.

The phone didn't ring. 

Friday night after work I came home to a sink  loaded with dishes, and it was clear from the musk that lingered he hadn't taken out the trash or cleaned up the litter… Read full post »

It's day four after the awesome interview and day 34 of the layoff.

The call-back hasn't come, yet. Last night when I came home he was doing yardwork, which is quite the feat for an out-of-shape-40-year-old-videogame-player. It's springtime in Arizona, and the rain from a few weeks ago has sprinkled… Read full post »

It's day 29 and today I'm more apprehensive and uncertain than ever.

The interview yesterday went extremely well. When I picked up the husband from the airport he was so terribly excited and positive. In turn I too was enthusiastic. As he went over the questions and his replies everything sounded… Read full post »

It's day 23 of my husband's unemployment, he was notified his position was eliminated at 8 AM after returning from New Years break.  

I'm frugal, as a family we're savers, we can wait this thing out for several  years without substantial changes to our lifestyle. I fought so hard… Read full post »