stan sinberg

stan sinberg
San Francisco, California, USA
February 25
Stan Sinberg did the popular "Take a Stan" commentary on KFOG for several years. He also writes for MAD magazine, and the dearly-departed gonzo supermarket tabloid, Weekly World News.

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MARCH 24, 2010 3:54PM

Repubs Bash Obama for Excessive HC "Pen"-Manship

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News item: President Barack Obama used 22 pens to sign the Health Care Reform bill into law.

Republicans today denounced President Obama’s use of 22 pens to sign his name on the Health Care Reform bill as proof that the bill will bankrupt the United States.

“The ink isn’t even dry on this bill and already health care is proving that it’s full of wasteful spending,” cried House Minority Leader John Boehner. “Twenty –two pens! Who uses twenty-two pens to sign their name?

‘His name only has eleven letters, for God’s sake. That’s two pens for each letter. If that’s not wasteful spending, I don’t know what is.

“And those weren’t ‘Bic’ pens that cost fifty-nine cents, either,”   Boehner added. “Those were  top-of-the-line pens that must cost, oh, twenty or thirty dollars apiece.”

Democrats were quick to point out that all presidents, including George W. Bush, used several pens in their signing ceremonies.

FOX commentator Karl Rove called the Democrats’ response “A desperate attempt to rewrite history.

“Bush’s use of pens was completely different. He had no choice. His pens all ran out of ink, because when Bill Clinton left office his aides purposely drained the ink out of all the pens, so that President Bush wouldn’t be able to sign any bills. It shows President Bush’s great resolve that he was willing to use as many pens as it took to sign important legislation into law.”

Senator John McCain promised that he would no longer cooperate with the Democrats on passing legislation “in the interest of preserving ink.

“Lookit. Now you have twenty-two ink-filled pens sitting around doing nothing. Who benefits from this?  The ‘special pen’ interests, that’s who.  This is an earmark that I vowed to cut out when I ran for president, and this is a consequence of my not being elected.

 “If we keep wasting our resources like that, it will increase our reliance on foreign countries for ink. If they refuse to give it to us, we won’t be able to write anything.  We can’t risk living in an America that doesn’t have the ink to write anything down. How will people keep appointments?”

When told that most people use computers and smart phones for that, McCain replied, “Really? They can do that?”

Rush Limbaugh said on his radio show, “Giving pens out for free to twenty-two people is socialism, socialism, socialism! I told you so!”

Glenn Beck unfavorably compared Obama’s signing of the bill to the Founding Fathers. “John Hancock only used one pen when he signed the Declaration of Independence. Obama obviously thinks he’s twenty-two times more important than Hancock. Folks, if you don’t think that proves Obama is sending a message that he’s more important than our “independence,” you’re not paying attention.”

Michael Steele, chairman of the Republican National Committee, was excited. “This gives us a great issue to run on in November. We’re going to point out that with using twenty-two pens, Obama should’ve signed the bill in RED ink.”



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I figured it out, Obama is going to sell the pens on EBAY to the highest bidder since he hasn't been able to get his own coin in this country.
A ha ha. That was funny!