Women are by nature caregivers.  There are of course the few exceptions, but I'm talking now about the bulk of the women I know, myself included.  We're caregivers.  And I'm not saying that's a bad thing to be, a caregiver.  But while we spin around and turn upside down trying to make sure that the drycleaning's picked up, the bills are paid, the dogs are walked, the kids eat balanced meals, have time to study, time to play, time to pursue their interests, who I wonder, is doing that for us?  The answer most likely is nobody.

Now we are not children, we are adults.  And as adults, we should not expect someone else to take care of us.  That's why we need to do it ourselves.  Yes.  That's right.  In fact, we don't just need to add ourselves to our "to do" lists, we need to put ourselves right up there at the top.  I'm sure I speak for more than just myself when I say that it really goes against my grain to do this.  The second I start putting myself ahead of others I can hear a little voice in my head.  Maybe some of you have heard it too, it's the one that says, "You are a selfish person.  What makes you think that you should spend 45 minutes doing something as frivolous as reading a book when there is a mountain of laundry to do?"

Yes, this is the voice in my head that I hear every time I even consider putting something I want to do in front of something I feel that I have to do.  The thing is, that voice is full of it!  What exactly is it that I have to do?  Well, actually quite a lot of things.  But, what would happen if I simply didn't do them?  Or decided to dare I say it, do them later?  Tomorrow even maybe?  I have a feeling that the laundry would still be waiting there patiently on the floor in a heap where I left it.  Those dirty socks are very unlikely to sprout wings and fly away or burst into flames and become sock shaped piles of ashes.  But what will happen if I don't take my 45 minutes?  OK...I won't fly away either (although I might want to sometimes), and I also won't burst into flames.  But I will be a little...less.  Less what?  Less me, that's what.

So I am going to try something new, and I'm hoping that you'll join me.  I'm going to push the mute button on that voice in my head and listen to a different voice.  My own.  I seem to recall that just yesterday it was saying something to my friend about not running herself into the ground, being able to say "no", and taking some time for herself.  Hmmm.  That's some good advice my voice was giving.  Think I'll follow it.