What is it about Facebook that makes people vent all their personal drama?   It’s one thing to vent online in more anonymous places, say Open Salon for example.  The people reading your rantings there (I mean here) don’t really know you--at least not in real life anyway.  But, Facebook?  That’s a different kind of audience.

So I want to say something to all of those people out there who talk smack about other people on Facebook (and no, it isn't any one person, it's quite a few people who do this kind of thing, and no, I haven't been the personal target of any of it (yet)--THANK GOD).

Sure there are those who are your friends because they are friends with your friends.  And you haven’t ever met them, would be hard pressed to pick them out of a line-up.  But, most likely the bulk of your lengthly “friends” list really are friends.  At least acquaintances.  And so I wonder, what the hell are you doing posting the details of your personal conflicts up there for all to see?  What are you trying to gain by doing this? 

From what I have seen, you get a lot of supportive comments from the peanut gallery.  But, are they saying what they really think (since you did ask), or are they just saying what they know you want to hear?  Probably the latter.  Rarely does anyone disagree with anyone on Facebook.  I know when I don’t like what someone has posted about someone else I just don’t comment.  I stay the hell out of it.  Why do I even have to know about it?  Isn’t it enough that I know what you ate for breakfast, whether or not you made it to the gym, if it’s raining where you live, or if your dog crapped on the carpet in the family room last night?

You are more than willing to say you've been slighted, or lied to, or taken advantage of by a “former friend”.  And here is where it really gets interesting because as much as you want to say what this person did to you (in vague terms), you don’t want to say who it was.  No chance of anybody finding out the other side to the story--and there always is another side to the story.  So you don’t really want them to give them an informed opinion of your personal shit.  Do you just want everyone to know you have some?

Or do you want people to support you in your “crusade against injustice” (although people don’t really know what the injustice is exactly).  That’s really the only goal I can imagine you have—to gain the support of others.  Maybe you might not be convinced that their feelings are based in truth and so you want everyone to help convince you that you are “right”.  If that really isn’t the goal then I would love to know what is.  What else is there to gain by putting your dirty laundry out to air publicly?

The next time you are tempted to post something like that on your Facebook, I have a suggestion for you.  DON’T DO IT!  I will tell you what nobody else wants to.  No matter what you say about someone else, it will make you look like an ass.  Anyone who says otherwise is just trying to kiss yours so that they won’t look like they aren’t sympathetic.  The truth is, they don’t know what the hell you’re talking about (since you aren’t willing to give any specific details), and they don’t really care.  They just don’t want to be next. 

But, believe me, they are thinking as they type their cry of support in the comment window, how petty you are, and how they know now not to trust you with anything private, or to get involved in anything with you that could possibly go awry.  Because based on the fact that you put that crap on Facebook, they know that you won’t be dealing with it directly with them should something happen.  And dealing with the person you have the conflict with is the only true way to resolve it.  Dancing all around it with others won’t help at all.  And if you truly are not interested in resolving it, then why not just DROP it, and not keep bringing it up on Facebook?

Buy a diary.  Vent in there.  Nobody else needs to see it.  Or better yet, call up the person you are mad at and just have it out with them once and for all.  Then you can go back to posting about your dog’s bowel movements and other more important stuff.

Whew.  I’m glad I got that off my chest.  See?  I can do that here—but not on Facebook!