Anyways if perhaps those certain people who have read my rant and took it to heart I will explain my sentiments. That is if they happen to perchance read this... And that asshole who left a comment is right I am faggot cunt and I totally admit it but hey, you would be a faggot cunt too if you lived under all my anxieties and suspicions who you feel that are close friends but you know in bottom down they do not respect me as I should be respected. In posting that rant I knew they would read it but would they have taken my problems serious if I had talked to them without giving me shit excuses and lies. But I am also sorry about the people that don't mean much harm and I deliberately targeted them using very offense terms for them. I am an emotionally driven writer and when I start to write it doesn't stop especially when I take on a personality in my writing which is far from me. For once in my life I am also showing how I write and at times when I am emotionally taken over I am a different person in my writing. These words may sound like excuses to you but they are not. To be honest you guys are my friends and you me dear to me but when you feel like your friends do take advantage of you ( and I know you guys don't but this is how I feel) and you try so hard to appease them even when an ocd girl like me can't stand one beer stained rug or have to deal with your azn mom scream korean at you because your step dad you hate is mad at your for all the beer cans and cirgreette stubs left outside and have never said a word about to you guys. Plus the fact that I feel like you guys are in some secret club of friends and that sometimes I do not get left out of things. Plus that you leave my name out and out of the "friends book," and don't take me seriously. These are all suspicions but then again it is how I feel. What ever the out come of this I hope we all come to some understanding.   I LOVE U ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL