I have been back to the old "Land of the free and home of the brave" for sometime now, about 4 months. If you see from my last post my journey was undocumented as a result of my ever couscience lazyness. Being the person that I am, I did have an insane journey which nobody knows (it is not like anyone will read it)  about since I am an unholy lazy person for my  whole year and a half stay in the "Land of the Morning Calm". The past is the past I will recap events when my memory and my desires run its course into that direction but for now I will just write for the sake of it.

 I had a plan before I ever touched this dreaded place we call a country, run by theives in the land of red, white and blue. The plan in Korea was for my ambitious self to aquire saving and work my way through college there. Why? New Jersey or better yet America is a putrid whore of its glory beauty it was back in the 1960s. Besides now that I am back, I can clearly see why I did not want to return (more on that later).  But the challenge was too strenous and just too much work.  One being I had to pass as a wonderous consequor of the Korea languange. While my Korean did drastically improve with the diligent efforts in doing Langauge Exchange Lessons and speaking Korean every chance I can get, my Korean could not reach the deapth of comprehending articles about politics and health care.  In addition, even though I saved more money than any of my friends in the same Teaching program I did not have enough to afford tution, room and board, a cell phone, food, clothes , transportation and anything else. On top of that it seemed like most of the appying students seem to from China, no Every one of them was from China. Some of the top Universities also seem to discriminate against Korean American because of their birth right. Other Universities questioned my transcript just because it said "College" not Univeristy. According to Korea the word "College" refers to two year degree  schools, meaning Community College which reads failers in their eyes. With all these issues running against me and the thought that I would be taught by a professor who most likely knew less about the English Langauge or English Literature than me, unless I was by some miracle chosen for the elite schools felt demeaning.

So I took my ass back to the overcrowded, self rightious and spoiled people of New Jersey. Now that I am back I can only say I find this place dispicable.  Mostly for the people maybe because I am always surrounded by naive and narrasistic people I once called friends. The few I do respect as friends, that would be one or two people, I can see feeling the same, but will never leave here for the fact that they can't bear change too well.  The ones that do manage to get away even for a few miles or across the country I miss dearly because there, within their eyes you can feel humanity. I hate that my " so called friends", these ignorant fucks I am left with,  have not changed one bit.  If they did change they changed for the worse in that I could not find any redeamable qualities about them. A lot of them have fallen too much into a life of hedonism and while I do adore hedonism myself, as I have played too much in Korea, I know very well you have to work to play. I worst part is, even though I hate them apart of me still wants to be apart of them, just for the sake of belonging. I know fully well too that even if I was with them, enjoying their company, I still would not relate to them and understand their constant cackling laughfter and humor at complete nonesense like laughing at a lamp or remebering that time  when (insert person) was drunk and stupid because yes, falling over and eating being a retard while you are on whatever is not universal. Either that or they must regall their stories of when they kissed (insert idoitic but remotely good looking white boy). The supposed guy friends I knew of either have changed drastically or just changed enough so that I cannot tell if they did, leaving them the same. Mostly I just see that they have manage to use their dicks to  aquiring a woman or an entire bag of hoes.  One had the misfortune in thinking entering into the marines was going to "save" him then came back wanting a pity party when he knew full on he desired to use his aggression to kill. What did you expect? America does not want to save you, they want to use you by convincing your testosterone can beat war and become a patroit. Besides punching me and emotionally battering me before you left will not  convice this woman that you were ever a worth human being in the first place.  Then there are stories of darwinism taking place as aquintinence I knew thought not wearing a seat belt or running a highway was a worthy idea.  Makes me think, if I am wrong in thinking these people are not taking their lives to their full advantage because at least they are somewhat happy and have relationships. God get me out of here.