“Dad’s new girlfriend wants to make me a Halloween costume.”

“She what?!?!”

“Wants to make me a Halloween costume.”

“But that’s a mommy’s job!

Okay, self, take a breath. Keep the car in the lane. I tried not to say that I thought she had decided she wasn’t wearing a costume. I tried to refrain from making a snarky comment about how the girlfriend just wants to get on her good side. I definitely did not say anything about how this girlfriend may not last any longer than any of the others (2 to 4 months).

I was astounded at my jealousy. I don’t have time to make my daughter a costume. I would be grateful if her grandmother or aunt offered to make her one. But Daddy’s New Girlfriend? No way Jose.

Not that b**ch that I’ve never met.

Is it jealousy that my ex (a.k.a. "self-centered bucket-head") has someone new and special? (Never mind that I have had a devoted boyfriend for three and a half years whom I love very much.) Is it jealousy that another woman might develop some importance in my daughter’s life? A bit of both I suppose. I have struggled with these jealousies the past six years. I know that jealousy of my Wasband is not reasonable and I need to let it go. I just like to think that somewhere he is pining away for me, and regretting that he left. I like to think that he has gone through a long list of women because he can’t find one as good as me. Frankly, the fact that he keeps loving them and leaving them is a relief, because then I don’t have to face the other jealousy:

That I simply can’t stand that any other mother figure of any type could steal even a tiny part of my daughter’s heart from me. I have lost the father of my child; I don’t want to lose my daughter to some super-cool stepmom. Intellectually, I know I won’t. My daughter and I have a close relationship, and I am a pretty cool mom myself. But I harbor that fear anyway, having found that some of the most intimate relationships of my life have been subject to death and divorce losses that surprised me.

Really, it’s perfectly fine if DNGF wants to make her a costume. She is, after all, trying to get on my daughter’s good side. And I want this other woman in my daughter’s life to be a good person. Wasband has admitted that this one might be a keeper (never mind that he’s said that before). I remind myself that I am the beloved mom, and no one can take my place. As for him, well, I provided the only child he will ever have. No one can take that from me.

“I don’t need anything for my costume anyway. I’m going to wear skinny jeans and a black tank top and be a cool witch.”

Whew. Dodged that bullet.