He’s one of those kids who is wired differently. Outside the box, the odd duck, however you want to put it. They are the ones we write about after all, not the ordinary ones. I had asked for him. We had developed a bit of a rapport when he was in the class next door, on his good days. I was happy to take him on, add him to my crew. After 18 years of teaching, I felt I had the tools to deal with him. And on that point, I was not proved wrong.
He has rough time, this kid. There are forces in him that he can’t always control. They result in the yelling and the hitting and the strange ways he leans on chairs to calm himself down. He is angry a lot. I don’t know if that’s because of those inner demons themselves, or his inability to control them, or the world’s reaction to him. But it’s there. And it keeps him from being the full person he wants to be.
He draws trees. Trees after trees after trees. Beautiful trees, and he knows their names and where they grow and the nature of their cones and seeds. Pretty remarkable for a six year old. His family spends time hiking and camping; they are a part of his culture. But the trees also speak to him. They are beautiful and regal and don’t challenge him. They are quiet and undemanding. They just are.
He’s as obnoxious as hell, this one. Lashing out at adults and children alike. He can tell if someone doesn’t like and respect him, and he treats them with disdain whether they are three feet tall or six feet tall. That’s gotten him in the most trouble. We call it disrespect. He’s just reacting with his emotions. There are days when I simply can’t take it, so I send him to a quiet corner or the principal’s office with his notebook. It doesn’t matter if he listens to the lesson or not, he’s smart enough to absorb it by osmosis.
I see his gifts. I see his light. The others don’t. They see his violence and his anger and his disruption. Their baby is in Kindergarten, and this kid is interrupting their child’s “perfect” Kindergarten experience. They want him out. They complain and cajole and bully until he is gone. I see no compassion in their actions.
Children come and go in a school, it is the way of education. But I am grieving more for the loss of this student than I have for any. I was particularly attached to him. I worked hard to bring him to a place that wasn’t so bad, where he had begun to see his self-control as useful, and find healthier tools to deal with life. The complainers have taken this away from me, have taken him away from me. Have interrupted his progress and mine, and forced him into a place where he has to start over.
I am angry. I won’t see him again, but I will see them. They have precious children under my care, innocent ones who deserve my attention as much as anyone else, and who I will hug really hard as we mourn the loss of their classmate. I’ll have to look the adults in the eye and pretend I don’t care what they did. And walk away from the comments and the questions. This is no solution in my book. Not for him, not for me. And not for the children who will never learn about understanding and compassion from a boy who is just a bit different.


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Boy today is the day for lose-lose situational posts it seems :-/.
And it's Good News Sunday :(.
Rated for inhumane humanity.
Keep plugging away--I remember a story I heard. A buggered up little boy was often in trouble and demanded the teacher's attention all the time in the classroom. An observer of the classroom visiting one day asked a group of kids at recess about this boy. "Doesn't it make you mad that he gets all the attention?" A little voice answered from the group: "No, he needs it." The others around the voice nodded their heads in agreement before scattering off to play. The little lad who liked to draw trees who didn't fit the mold. Fools still hate those who don't conform. The walking away part is probably a wise move but how about getting in a shot or two with a smile, of course, before you do? Keep loving them all....
I could cry here at the words of a caring adult who doesn't have to love a child like this, but does, and so sees the incredible gifts these usually very intelligent children can bring...if only they could find calm.
Oldest son once said that he liked his back to the tree trunks because "they sing to me of strength and peace."
He was five then...
They won't, sweetfeet, they won't...they just seemed to win a battle this time, but bullies never win. The results may be years in the making, but...
We must believe so,
I must anyway.
And Matt, I completely understand the perspective of the parents. They were worried about the safety of their children, and I shared their concern. Ultimately, I do believe that there is a better educational situation for this child. I just didn't like the way it was all handled, and I don't like to see any child ostracized. I felt caught between the proverbial rock and hard place.
Our school was a "full inclusion" one, and it's one of the few things I'm truly proud of when I look back. These children were allowed to stay in regular classes, and the children who learned to "deal" with them learned more than their parents could ever have imagined about life in general.
There is a reason that my Hopi in laws did not understand why children like these were sometimes labeled as "special ed" cases who needed to be isolated. In their world, these were the "gifts" sent by the Creator to teach us things no one else could. They had their place in society, and were revered.
Thank God I had a chance to look at the world through their eyes for many years. I think it helped me "see" these children better. And love them more.
Behind that I feel how it was for me to be a differently wired kid. I never manifested anger. Didn't stop me from being bullied. For many people different is enough for them to ostracize you from the crowd.