bend me over

pull my hair

 open my salon

  Read full post »

 ^{From the Studio Gardner Collection}

I was able to meet the designer behind the famous label Peachy Couture. I didn't just get to meet her, I was almost murdered by her. I went from homeless woman to celebrity victim in less… Read full post »

Death Row Transcripts: Mrs. Charming 

First of all, I'm innocent. For years I suffered abuse at the hands of one evil stepmother and her two jealous, shady daughters. Clean this! Wash that! Don't forget to mend my dress, Cinderella! The teases and taunts were endle… Read full post »

When did Sarah Palin reach her potential?

At birth

What do you call Obama with a hairlip?

A socialisp

What did McDonalds say to the little fat kid?

Welcome back

What do you call a black gymnast?

An afrobat

Why wouldn't the little boy go to church?

There was a… Read full post »

Welcome to Treat Mints!

The web's most unique assortmint of personalized breath mints.

Apartmints: Mint for the homeless. You may not have a roof over your head but you have one in your mouth; freshen it with Apartmints. Taste like cardboard. Feels like home.

Argumints:… Read full post »

I run a magical shop, hidden deep in The Secret Garden. Where The Red Pony runs Down the Rabbit's Hole and Where the Red Fern Grows on cotton.

I've got A Handful of Dust - genius in jars - keeping them safe is quite the chore. Especially today when a Reluctant Dragon… Read full post »

 Skit: Disturbia, Scene One

Cast: (in order of appearance)

_{Molly Shannon  Bae Sung  Steve Buscemi  Amy Poehler  Winona Ryder Tina Fey}

         as   &nb… Read full post »

Just because your monthly symbol is a goat, doesn't mean you have to be so serious! Stop worrying about what other people think - they're no help anyway when you go to charge your… Read full post »

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Are you a retired teacher that misses the old thrill of mocking your students? Do you hide your insecurities by baring your fangs? Are you a narcissist that lacks social skills? Are you a masochistic jock that gets off on cybe… Read full post »

Rush Limbaugh (red faced and hovering over… Read full post »

My youngest son is seven years old and works a skateboard better than most teens. He also enjoys hunting and guns, playing baseball... and reading.

He went this entire season of baseball without striking out and has just finished an autobiography by a World War II vet.… Read full post »

 Yeah, even butts have plugs available,

Gentlemen, stop your engines. Ever since you first held that briefcase in your innovative hands you looked up. Up at the heavens that blessed you and over the fact… Read full post »

• Made it clear she would try and save her own skin.
• Annoyed bunk mates with her hatred for guns.
• When told
… Read full post »

Adonis

• Resurrected
• Greek God 
• Gorgeous
• Name means "Lord" 
• His followers celebrated the "Festival of Adonis"
• Multiple versions of his birth exist
• Some claim he is the son of a God

 

kissing her wrinkled brow.

The mop she held fell to the floor

as he expected, she started to howl,

I don't know you , please let me go!

I don't recognize your face.

I want my husband;  I want… Read full post »

Everyone has heard the saying: "Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers", so keep your children safe!

Get the ultimate in protection, new from NIKE comes the "Alter Boy" a sturdy, plastic protective cup… Read full post »

May 21, 2012

Teaville was home to several colossal but destitute trailer parks, that surrounded an insanely wealthy business park and luxury community. Those able to afford that area of Teaville, were members of the Teaville Country Club and could be identified by their lim/… Read full post »

Married under soldier

swords

They share a love that runs

deep

and true

Some call him

Doctor

Some call him

Colonel

But daddy is all I

knew

Mama blonde

bombshell… Read full post »

You are far from home, Sir

and I am not your type

You work a day job

I work the night 

I know why you're ''here''

and I'll take you 'there''

I'll whisper your name

You'll pull at my hair… Read full post »

When VH1 plays their show, “I Love the 80's", I always tune in. To me, it is a reminder of a decade that was much more than just Madonna and He-Man.  For me, it was the calm before the storm. No footprint had yet made… Read full post »

Today you called me a liberal

Please don't expect I'll deny

Yes, my thoughts are liberal

I live only briefly and then I die

....................................................

While I reside on this planet

I'll be liberal with lots you should know

Liberal with shampoo

Liberal with pr/… Read full post »

My time machine worked.

Oh, my time machine worked!

I was courted by "the" David Hume.

Some might call him odd with that powdery wig.

One could scoff at his three-cornered hat.… Read full post »

So often I read about people sharing to much information online. Warnings about how lack of "editing" on social communities can be hazardous to your life.  A lot of this advice is wise especially when it comes to teens and personal information etc...

But what makes me sad is… Read full post »