On Friday, Lady Catherine's family made the following announcement:
"Lady Catherine's season will kick-off at Sundown.
Please make your presence known as she will surely be
chosen for marriage!"
She was giddy and wild till her first suitor smiled
and was missing three teeth - none were straight.
The second no better in a turtle-neck sweater
She knew queer from his feminine gait.
Bored out of her mind she stood watching.
Men fat, rich and old eating cheese.
Having enough she grew angry
and yelled for them all to just leave.
Lady Catherine:
I don't want this life!" She cried out.
Mum and dad... I want adventures, I say!
I'd rather be poor - a pirates floor scrubbin whore-
than have to live another day this way!
The Duke of Pearl:
Oh, Darling please trust I know better.
These men have grand titles and land.
It might sound like greed, but all that I need
is an heir and a ring on your hand!Lady Catherine then fled the party
falling asleep down by the sea.
Two hours later like a sack 'o potatoes
woke up bouncing on a Pirate's knee!
She secretly felt excited...
he smelled of ocean and smoke.
His muscular arms they glistened
She was the captive of one sexy bloke.
The Pirate:
RARRRR, listen here to what I say.
I demand ransom or the princess will pay!
She's hot, sweet and sticky and me mateys aint picky...
She'll be scrubbin me floors night and day!
The Duke of Pearl:
Oh, don't hurt her- I beg you, I'll hurry!
Please pirate just tell me the way.
Don't hurt the fair Lady Catherine.
She's my ticket to fortune and fame!"
Pirate:
"Rarrr...you can find us at...
*click*
Lady Catherine (resting her high heel on the "end call" button):
"Oh no you don't, Pirate"
http://thecolumbuswench.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/beerwench1.jpg
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Lainey
Oahusurfer
Way2 Black
ghost writer
Gary Gladstone
Dennis Knight
Salon.com
Comments
Homophobe much?
However, Lady Catherine probably lives in a different era than the one we live in today.
Let's just hope Lady C gets her vitamin C.
Rrrrrrrrrrated
Safe_Bet's Amy:.errr.me?...or.lady.catherine?
Fetboy:and.does.C.stand.for...*cough
PW:thank.you.friend,it.was.fun:D
National Talk Like a Pirate is Sept 19.
I doubt any woman wants to be married to a homosexual man, and a lot don't want to be married to an effeminate man.
Those women don't fear homosexuals, they just don't want to be married to them, so they are not homophobic.
I mean really; who wants to end up like Mrs. Larry Craig?
Being a pirate's whore, even in this day an age, is better than being married to Larry Craig, unless you are a woman who doesn't like sex.
That's good enough for me.
National Talk Like a Pirate is Sept 19.
Mr Fawkes:my.jelly.brings.all.the.scalawags.to.the.yard.
ahoy!.indeed.it.is,Matey:):)
fetboy:...C.is.for.cookies.silly!wawawa-wink.
Buffy
makes.it.sound.worse.than.it.will.be?
WELL done, and miss C - well chosen, princess!!
~r!
I have more of a taste for Clitoris than I do for Cookies,
Though I like Cookies quite a lot.
How good are your cookies?
Thank.you.sweet.thing.
Kit:Ahoy.my.partner.on.the.high.monkey.seas!!
Down,Fet.boy.
YoHo!
You are asking me to go down, and all I asked was how good your cookies are
Which I assume are almost as sweet your poetry, but not nearly as sweet as going down on you.
Except I've heard pirates don't bathe much.
Oh, wait, noblemen don't either.
Okay, carry on, let's do pirates instead.
Fetboy creeps me out.
Yes, pirates don't bathe much, but sailors do, if you considered daily quick showers with dramatic and painful temperature variations bathing.
ix-nay.the.ex-say.alk-tay.lease-pay.ir-say.:)
yes,lets-vanessa lol
Natalie Not Pedantic:.u.just.cracked.me.up
Thank.you.Chuck.xoxo
You were the one who asked what C was for, and said "Down".
Ye'll ne'er get me buried booty!
pirate.truce. Aye, me parrot concurs.
I was unaware either of us was ever being hostile to the other.
Your poetry is sweet, I like it.
R
No Firemen are up there with sailors.
Pirates are up there with pyromaniacs.
Pirate don't save people, sailors do.
And we provide better - service - then pirates do.
Ahoy!Robin.xoxo
indeed,Linda...and.some.vampires.
An amazing adventure it is fer sur!
Now for the rest of you....the call beckons....and beware if you don't,... for the very large Kracken!
rrrrrrrated lass...rated!
Who would you rather have carry you away; Commodore Stephen Decatur or Blackbeard the pirate?
Lezlie
Fetboy:.I.get.your.point.but.this.is.just.make.believe.
Sparking:Ahoy, thank.you.so.much Garrr.
where's.me.bottle. o'rum?
Ahoy, she.wasn't.ready.to.be.rescued.at.all. Aye.-L
very saucy stuff, amanda!
He never killed his hostages.
Worthy of some booty
A chest of treasure? yes!
Overflowing with doubloons
Rare gems, a glorious mess.
Avast! Avast!
A nerve you have hit.
Smooth sailing I see for a poetress like thee.
rated
Vitamin C is Vitamin C.