
May 21, 2012
Teaville was home to several colossal but destitute trailer parks, that surrounded an insanely wealthy business park and luxury community. Those able to afford that area of Teaville, were members of the Teaville Country Club and could be identified by their limited edition, Teaville SUV.
Those who couldn't afford to live there were often allowed a "walk through" if they found a golden ticket in their paychecks.
Only white, conservative christians were allowed to live in Teaville. Despite lacking the usual scientists and College professors that neighboring counties had, the residents of Teaville seemed just fine and even boasted that they finally found "God's Country."
Teaville Church spent all of its time running a massive food and clothing shelter because the trailer park community wasn't allowed food stamps or medicaid anymore according to Teaville reporters.
"We didn't realize how many of our own residents were actually using government assistance." sighed M.T. Head, the former Mayor of Teaville.
Eventually, the trailer parks buzzed with restlessness and the cries of neglected babies woke the already broken sleep of those without healthcare.
Skinheads joined forces with farmers to scale the large wall and commence to ass whoopins on the business men below.
"It was chaos" reported Rich E. Mann, one surviving CEO. "They wanted in our community but didn't understand that their G.E.D asses didn't deserve that!"
Although weakened by that brewing civil war, it was a deadly outbreak of the Tea Flu that finally brought Teaville to its knees.
When asked how he survived, the Mayor swore he "accidentally fell" on a syringe of vaccine while visiting the neighboring county of Eliteville.
"I don't get it. " said Ben Lyon, former Teaville minister. "I layed hand after hand after hand on these kids.... and they still died."
Several sightings of the former Minister have been reported at the Larry Craig International Airport in Blowville.
Celebrities and politicians alike have issued statements regarding the tragic downfall of Teaville.
Sarah Palin shouted through the whirring sounds of her private jet, "Teaville was taken from us too soon. I never had a chance to visit but I hear it was lovely"
"I stand behind their right to exclude progressives" stated Rand Paul as he walked off laughing and mumbling something about dumbasses.
Toby Keith is said to be working on a new CD that will be released early 2013. It is dedicated to the fallen Teaville heroes.



Salon.com
Comments
Buffy
Do you hunt? That's a must...
rated with hugs and a cup of tea
~J~
Trust me, dianaani... I'm a pebbles throw from a vat of tea ;)
Ah Yes, beautiful Joyonboard... your sources are correct. A pillar of salt became her "lot" in life. ha. I should have joined comedy forces with you on this one!
r
Blu: I know, right? S. A. D.
Cranky: You can ride with me! Live blogging a trip with cranky, woo hoo!
Thank you, My dear Poppi (I'm coming to visit you)
You are sweet to say so, Brie xoxo
stud: laugh anyway goshdarnit. Oo
Stim: I love it when you do that... please do it every time, I'm getting spoil't :D
Coffee party in da house, thanks Reflections
Julieeeeee, thank you
Hell, I'm a Latina, check
I still have an accent, check
I guess I won't be welcome in Teaville.
You are a very gifted satirist.
The sad thing is this is so true this could be a news piece.
Much love.
In my defense, I was very young and I was in love with a tea bagger, and you know how that goes....
Now. Ya'll put down them eggs!
Amanda, honestly, this is well done. A little spooky, like a fairy tale. And I might have nightmares tonight....
Thanks, Amanda. This is great. Rated. D