Title: Private G
Branch: US Army
Duration of service: 72 hours
Official reasons for discharge
- Made it clear she would try and save her own skin.
- Annoyed bunk mates with her hatred for guns.
- When told to "Drop and give us twenty"... she tossed us a $20.
- Had panic attacks about sand in her eyes and private areas.
- Said no to push-ups and early morning runs.
- Yelled back.
- Wouldn't make bed every day.
- Took entirely too long to lace tall boots.
- Refused to sweat.
- Wouldn't jump out of anything higher than a tree house.
- Didn't drink beer.
- Whistled at naked men in the showers.
- Whistled at naked women in the showers.
- Called the Colonel: Private Benjamin
- Cried that we didn't provide refrigerated creamer.
- Wouldn't use public restrooms.
- Refused to cut her hair short.
- Refused to fight.
- Complained that the backpack was too heavy.
- Constantly moaned about the unfairness of DADT.
- Only responded to the name: GI Jane
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Lainey
Oahusurfer
Way2 Black
ghost writer
Gary Gladstone
Dennis Knight
Salon.com
Comments
@psyche: cracked me up, "accessorize."
sheepdog: right? RIGHT?
mypsyche: lolol - you understand!
femme, I'm not a troublemaker! ouch, lightning ;)
Trig, why whatever did you think I was referring too?
xoxo Matt
lol, don't they know the only way to work those pants is with heels?
Bored, huh? That's something else I need to admit to more often...I like to think of myself as too interesting to be bored, but the truth is sometimes I'm too lazy to do the interesting things & find myself bored instead--like right now.
Thanks for easing my boredom.
Anti-war.
That just sounds right.
I had to share my discharge. It isn't fair to be selfish with it.
Cranky: I just snorted thinking about her cute face looking over your shoulder with her eyebrow cocked at your ways. hahaha don't get me in trouble with her!!!!
rated with hugs and a sanitizer packet..:)
You are way too cool Amanda for the military, but I agree with Matt that you could be a huge et as for the recruiting team.
Tinkkkkk, I didn't have 50 :( bragger :D
Chuck what exactly did he tell you?
Smithery: I'm gonna tell you something I've never vocalized... I would like to try one of those ready to eat meals like the Army and space stations use.
Camo eyeshadow. Now I'm tempted to try that. Or I could go read a book. gah, wish you lived closer.
This is the reason we don't have a draft anymore. Some people are just way more fun in the civilian world!
Now, drop and give me 20!
he told exactly what i wanted to hear.
Rank--Obsession
Religion--Pastafarian
[I'll save my "pustular discharge" comment for another time.]
From what you left out, I'd say you made a better soldier than I did.
Torman, Torman. You know how to make a lady feel good :)
Cap'n... but they said I could be all that I could be... liarz
Tom: exactly!. roommate shmoomate
Chuck: of course, he did ;)
Mr. Fawkes: may you bet touched by his noodley appendage. xx
Trilogy!! I so love you right now. Put that over on the table and the guys will put it on ice. *blows party blower thing :D
Stim: sigh, and I'm interested in your pustular discharge stories. Do come back and spill it. err. uh. tell it, I mean.
Thoth, lol.. hey :D
Leon: I agree, but rhinestones will have to do. insert big slow painful sigh.
The Army's loss is our gain! Keep 'em coming soldier...and keep whistling! ;}
http://open.salon.com/blog/gaypersonsofcolor/2010/05/31/mcdonalds_ad_from_france#comment_1593886
muse: I love your spirit/energy whatever one calls it. Thank you so much. *muah
Oh well, maybe I still am sicker than you LOL
Lezlie
R for v v funny.
The horror. The horror.
Hilarious list, Amanda! Rated and saluted.