Noodle Soup for the bowl

Amanda Gulledge

Amanda Gulledge
Birthday
April 27
Title
Particle
Company
Earth

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JUNE 21, 2010 10:13PM

Internet Snark for Dummies

Rate: 32 Flag

Dummies 


1

Are you a retired teacher that misses the old thrill of mocking your students? Do you hide your insecurities by baring your fangs? Are you a narcissist that lacks social skills? Are you a masochistic jock that gets off on cyber bullying? Are you that kid that was bullied and now you want someone to pay?

Does the song Lean on Me make you want to hurl? Do you despise the thought of "support" so much that you blackened out that very word on all of your hosiery packages? Does your sharp tongue compensate for your dull personality?  Have your attempts at adult behavior only left you wanting to punch something?

If so...

This book is for you.

What's included:
  • A DVD on how to deal with snark user side-effects like: (crow's feet, erectile dysfunction, bitterness, loss of vaginal moisure)
  • An app for your mePhone that keeps up with targets for long-range snarking.
  • One "Drive-by snarker" bumper sticker.
  • GPS turn by turn directions to every parade. (rain not included)

Take sarcasm to the next level.

Order now... apologize never. 

**First ten callers receive a complimentary MP3 download of Brad Paisley's smash hit:  I'm so much cooler online.

 

 

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You are so much fun you're probably illegal! Here's your kp!
This was not only cool but it was just the snarkiest:)
Rated with hugs
But Amanda....I AM so much cooler online. We're all busted. thanks alot.
I wish I could upload food
Uh-oh. Let me get my stadium seat...

Lezlie
I want that Drive By Snarker bumper sticker. This was too funny~~
I like you in snark :)
Not only was this funnier than all get out, but you could probably sell a ton of copies of that book right here on this site. Of course, the author(s) are probably already members.
Amanda, You are a hoot! So creative and I'll bet you are illegal in several states....along with the sale of this book :)

R!
"Does your sharp tongue compensate for your dull personality?" Is that a bad thing?
You had me at "eleven cats and a vibrator"
Robin: This was hilarious, and I think you should get the KP and The Tink, and every other award. It made me think though: I am a retired teacher; a former jock; a former fighter pilot, etc. Naaaah: you weren't talking about me! Great Post! R-
Sorry, Amanda. I meant you,and I typed Robin. Hugs!
...And I am much cooler online.

Offline I'm an unemployed computer operator with a fetish for 1940s musicals. ~TEARS~

~runs off to play Dungeons and Pancakes Online~ I'm 112 level elf with super pancake sword of maple syrup!!!
Very clever. R
Oh, Amanda... Brad Paisley? Seriously??? Have you sunk so low???
Jason Alexander cracks me up. This was great fun! My daughter's dad embodies snarkiness. I think the universe is conspiring to keep us apart in an act of self-preservation. But I think we could heal the world through laughter and simultaneously punish it for not paying attention. You can be SpiderWoman, can I be SheHulk?At any rate, you are a superhero...in many spheres! VEry fun post! Always look forward to your work! -r-
Amanda , I know that this is very off topic, but when I thought of snark ................... my mind went to 'Noah's Ark' and then I started wondering to myself 'With all those animals on the boat, Noah must have spent the majority of his time shovelling shit'

Back to SNARK

SNAAK THE CAAH AT HAAV-AAD YAAD

great post Amanda de Wit (*somewhere the 'G' is silent)
rated ~R ( cuz of the vibrator)
Aunt Mabel: fml too ;)
FusunA, thank you maam
Kit Duncan, woo hoo!! exciting! TY, Kit.
Linda: hugs with a little snark, lol
Trilogy: but at least we are cool and busted, right?
Ablonde: You complete me
Lezlie: what you talkin bout willis
Tim4change: I'm glad you enjoyed it, Tim :D
Scanner: circle or rectangle? I'll send you one, haha
Lunchlady: I like you in anything
Torman: we wouldn't have to look far for authors, no siree
Joy: Then I will stay away from Arizona! xx
Jon W: :) :) back at you :)
JohnB: depends on the depth of the cut ;)
Wendy, hahaha
Dave: not you, sir... not you! Ex jock and teacher, eh? I bet you have some stories :)
Tink: I'm still waiting on my job app.... vintage musicals fetish... geez you crack me up...
Thoth, thank you, Mr. sir friend
Amy: so low... I know *hangs head... but it had Jason Alexander!?!
CrazeCzar: Where have you been?
Catherine : thank you ,hottie mack fottie
Muse: I wish I could be a superhero with you... I'd deliver Mr. snark a supernatural smackdown and then we could fly off to a party or something, ha. You make me smile... you really do.
Mike: now you have me really wondering what got you thinking of Noah's Ark.... do tell when you get the time. :D
"Are you that kid that was bullied and now you want someone to pay?"

Me!!!!!

Everything else is a big fat no.

Those are the people I want to get this pent out frustration on. Violently upside their head in any cases.

I'll tell you one thing the Internet has taught me how to do:

Hate people.

Those same insecure jocks and venomous racists I hated in high school ... hey, they all moved to the Internet! And now they send me personal invective too! Hooray!

And the best part? Well that would be you can't get at these people and you know full well that no matter what they do they will never face any consequence for their deeds.

I have grown to just take a certain pride in deleting people's comments and blocking them from showing up on my screen.

They didn't try hard enough, now they get put in the trash.

Let's face it: It's where they wanted to be to begin with.
does it also come with a shamwow?
I'm playing catch-up, Amanda. Sorry I'm late.
As usual, this was so clever. You are a hoot!
ah gotta love my clever, funny updates on the world from my Amanda!
I much prefer this present era of snarkiness to the age of irony that recently passed.