Noodle Soup for the bowl

JULY 19, 2010 2:14PM

Treat Mints

Rate: 41 Flag
Treatmints

Welcome to Treat Mints!

The web's most unique assortmint of personalized breath mints.


Apartmints: Mint for the homeless. You may not have a roof over your head but you have one in your mouth; freshen it with Apartmints. Taste like cardboard. Feels like home.

Argumints: Mint for lawyers. Stop objections to your breath with a strong Argumint. Comes in a cold case.

Atonemints: Mint for Jews. Become one with fresh breath. Jap slap your Hebrew halitosis and have mint jewlips for 8 miraculous days. Step out of denile with our moses basket of Atonemints. No tips, please.

Attachmints: Mint for the lonely. Buy one get one free.

Augmints: Mint for California girls. The only thing you haven't changed is your breath. Feel the ground move when you pop a fluid-filled Augmint.

Cemints: Mint for sufferers of Erectile Dysfunction. Strong in the mouth but weak in the south? Try Cemints; they're hard to beat.

Enlargemints: Mint for the vertically challenged. Take your breath to new heights.

Garmints: Mint for Mormons. Bring all the sister wives to the compound with our mints. Share more than just each other; share the magic of Garmints. Delivered by a 15 passenger van.

Movemints: Mint for the constipated. Freshens breath and keeps colons in mint condition. Comes in various shapes and sizes. Smells like merde.

Placemints: Mint for stay at home moms. Shaped like bare feet. Best kept in kitchen.

Sacramints: Mint for priests. Annoint yourself with breath as fresh as you are. Smells like incense; tastes like teen spirit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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for+sale, comedy

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Comments

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Testamints: like Pop Rocks but in heart shaped tablets. They make the sound "huzzah!, huzzah!" as they melt in your mouth.
Amusemints. Given out one per read with Amanda's posts.

Excellent!
you're so silly...I love it.
Is this an original Amanda G? it's a departure from your usual cleverness, but a great play on words and ideas.
I like Attachmints but I can't seem to stop at one. I keep wanting more and more.
(chuckle) "Cemints ... Strong in the mouth but weak in the south"

whatzup (pun intended) wit dat?

clever stuff.

(R)
You never cease to amaze me! How about condomints, embellishmints, accomplishmints, rudimints...and on and on to commencemints. R-
Sacramints: Mint for priests. Annoint yourself with breath as fresh as you are. Smells like incense. Taste like teen spirit.

So wrong . . . yet so funny . . .
Love the sentimints.
Very weird...I like it. I have to read the Cemints again...I am not sure I got it. At first I thought it might be for pavers...Cemints...
Advancemints - for the corporate go-getter eying the corner office. The knife-shaped Advancemints' box comes with a diagram of a co-worker's back. Warning: although Advancemints freshen your breath, your lips will still taste like ass crack.

Do Atonemints taste like Chinese take-out?
Accoutremints: Packaged in a gold-plated tin, these high-fashion edibles are perfect for the person who has it all, except fresh breath . . .
Ooo, some stinging mints here!
You should be a writer for SNL or another show, you are that good!
I receive great enjoymint from your commints.
Love this, truly "inimintible." (Sorry)
Painintheassmints..
For everything I have done today.
I am coming to hide out in the hole in the back of your yard..:)
rated with hugs
peppermints to put some pep in you step.
Cemints...also know as dick-tacs?
I do believe you are deminted :-)
love it!

encasemints - "en case you meet that special someone while out and about."
Wonderful word play, Amanda!

I bet I could use your site to track my life so far. Growing up with contentmints, making do with tenamints when I first moved out, starting a firm and jonesing for accomplishmints, and dating life alternating among merrimints, disapppointmints, predicamints, occasional astonishmints... but fortunately no clinic appointmints.
fabulously funny ! rated
if it's a SINamint to enjoy these, then let the PUNishment begin! Love them...+ you. Fun, funny, clever=You! ;}
This is great, Amanda! As for the rest of y'all comminters, yer a bunch of varmints...I'm still trying to get over Stim's "Advancemints" warnings.
You and your comminters crack me up!
How about debasemints for people who say mean things and live underground. What a great challenge. I love the cemints.
Heh,heh, I loved this and froggy's line stunning! I agree! R
Amanda G.
and what about queermints? Mints guaranteed to help all heterosexuals figure it out what they are missing! This is really funny Amanda.
Dear Irania, you should try our sexual condomints trio. Includes: gender experimints, role-play reenactmints and momints of pure tribal ecstasy.
Governmints, a favorite of Sarah Palin after she "refudiates" something.

Lezlie
Don't they already have mints for the constipated....Ex-Lax?
cemints - nails down, as in, "This post cemints Amanda another msp!
I tried this earlier, so let me try this AGAIN. "Feelamints" - leave you breathless when they are used properly and they help turn the light on! ;) Clever girl.
I admint this is funny.
Made me laugh and nod.
You have killed the bus driver haven’t you?
I just peed a little and scared the crap out of my cat... I really need to carpe mintum and bite onto some of these. Wow...

Commitmints: Take a vow to fresher breath. Available in traditional beaver and rooster flavour but we're working on getting rainbow dazzle flavour pushed through by the fda, cia, and your local government bodies.
Acoutremints? Adormints?

Oh, Amanda, so many assortmints.

I love em silly ,and you sure fall into that departmint.
filimints...small in size yet make you light up with satisfaction.

Very good post and commints.
oh good one Buffy!
This is even funnier than Jesus mints!
I'll see you at your Arrain-Mint.
I can go a bit mintal for puns and you've provided a themed collection. Fantastic!
Enjoying it with amazemint!
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