tai

tai
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Salon.com
NOVEMBER 10, 2011 12:42AM

She and He

Rate: 3 Flag

She was

yeah she was

it was just "who she was"

and then she met

he 

he was

hard like a rock

no room for compromise

rocks will fall  

rocks crush bones

and spirits too

and so it was she

or admired the he

who crushed her like a bee.

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AK: When I published this I was really just trying to save it as a draft to work on later someday. Since it published I decided to leave it up without editing. I am getting lazy about mispelled words and typing errors lately. Thanks for stopping by!
tai
November 10, 2011 12:46 PM
When I look at it now I see that I used repetition, end rhyme, syllables, and sentence shape in the poem. The three longest lines have six syllables. If I had to edit this poem now I would probably scrap all it except for the last three lines. The last three lines say it all, with the use of a simple simile.
tai
November 10, 2011 01:02 PM
No doubt, NP!

I wanted to clarify that this is about feeling crushed, not actually being crushed.

No bones were crushed in the inspiration process of this poem.
tai
November 11, 2011 09:44 AM