
Know what? I’m not entertained anymore by Charlie Sheen’s shenanigans and not only because he’s a cracked egomaniac who should be receiving treatment rather than accolades. And it’s not only because I fear getting my kicks off the ravings of a lunatic who may end up dead soon.
I’m not paying attention to Charlie anymore because I’m tired of acting like guys who beat up women are okay in my book. In his long career, Mr. Tiger Blood has shot ex-fiancé Kelly Preston (John Travolta’s wife), got sued by a college student he knocked in the head for not sleeping with him, had restraining orders filed against him by his wives and had several adult film actresses accuse him of throwing them around a room. The reason dude’s kids were finally taken away from him last week was because he supposedly threatened to cut off their mom’s head and send it to their grandmother in a box.
Oh, Charlie, you old kook!
In most of these cases, Charlie pleaded no contest and paid a fine or settled out of court. Though in a couple instances, the accusers never followed through with their allegations, I think we can safely assume Sir Smirk n’ Chin hits women. But as most of those ladies were porn stars, strippers, hookers, addicts and gold-digging starlets, they seem to be considered the kinds of low-lifes for whom abuse is inevitable, perhaps even justifiable. Thus, as a great piece in the New York Times suggests, these gals are deemed “disposable.”
I realize the futility in suggesting a serial abuser shouldn’t be rewarded with a multi-million dollar television contract and a star on the Walk of Fame. Some of the most celebrated, even admirable, characters in the history of the world have been bastards and weirdoes. I’ll also let someone else wonder why Mel Gibson’s stock is waning while Charlie’s is on the rise or why Chris Brown’s abuse of Rihanna cost him his career (race? the value of a pop star over a porn star?) All I want to know is why instances of abuse toward women aren’t more regularly met with horror.
In the same week of Charlie’s meltdown, I read about a monstrously successful online comic called Penny Arcade. A strip about video games, Penny Arcade has spawned a massive movement amongst gamers and geeks. However, the creators of the comic got into hot water last year for publishing a strip in which characters were repeatedly raped by “the Dickwolves,” monsters who looked like wolves and had penises for hands.
When female fans took offense, the creators issued a smartass, flimsy apology. The notion being these ugly feminists couldn’t take a joke. Meanwhile, male fans harassed the women online by, among other things, posting pictures of mutilated women and creating Twitter handles like @teamrape and @rapefatchicks. The most vocal female fan, a rape survivor, even received death threats.
I love men. I know they’re smarter and more sensitive than the culture gives them credit for. But I don’t understand why so many of them are clueless about violence against women.
Maybe because abuse is swept under the rug when prominent people like Charlie Sheen do it. Maybe because when women are raped and mutilated on cop shows, they’re found in “do me” poses, wearing matching lace panties and bra sets, as if violent death is so darn sexy. Maybe because men have no idea what it’s like for us gals to live with the threat of violence every day of our lives.
Every male who walks behind you, every overeager guy hitting on you at a bar, every man staring too long at you on the bus, every creepy taxi driver ogling you in the rearview mirror, every date with a stranger, every escalating fight with a husband, every unlit street, every empty subway car, every parking garage creates a moment and place where every woman knows something horrible could happen. Statistically speaking, every woman has experienced violence, some of them victims of the most horrible cruelty imaginable. And believe me, it ain’t funny.
For all I care, Charlie can continue his rampage of derangement and reap all of its glorious plunder. It’s not his fault no one cares about the women he hurts. But I do want to live in a world where ravaging females, regardless of their station in life, is no longer entertainment or a joke. Maybe ladies have to keep letting folks know the pain of what we go through. Maybe one day, they’ll believe us.
[Photo of Sheen accuser Brittany Ashland from Jezebel.com]
*Reprinted from Laura K. Warrell's blog Tart & Soul at www.TartandSoul.com.


Salon.com
Comments
It is a sad state of affairs.....so is he.
The issues you raise are serious. The juxtaposition of these issues with the Charlie Sheen circus might be justified because it got you noticed and resulted in an editor's pick.
But we, and I mean all of us who can't resist posting or commenting on Charlie Sheen, are merely perpetuating the same cycle of celebrity worship....and that's what needs to stop.
Incessant reminders.
Great post, I wish things were different.
Bonnie, I'm checking out your blog, so curious about the GPS notification system! Thanks for coming by.
Sagemerlin, a quick comment. We can assume those who write about current events or scandals of the day are attempts by writers to promote themselves, though I think this is a cynical view. How better to make our points than to place them in cultural contexts that exemplify our positions and which everyone can relate to?
The problem with our adoration of Hollywood stars is how it blinds us to the realities of our own lives, culture and the true personalities of those we worship. Staying silent about Charlie Sheen's crimes against women as the nation celebrates him, to me, contributes to something far worse than celebrity worship.
I've never been much of a fan for people who behave badly and then are rewarded for it. I was sick of CS's recent burst of fifteen minute fame about 2.5 minutes into it.
Ask any woman who's survived rape and prolonged abuse--there's nothing funny about it.
rated
politics enters here, america is money driven, a great many men in expensive suits will do anything for more, and will cheerfully watch women dismembered by sheen as long as his ratings hold up.
Hey Charlie that is not the hallmark of a cool guy, it's the hallmark of some lame kid who is famous because of his daddy and can't deal with it.
Can we get rid of Palin, Beckum, Fatso Rush and the Royals please?
Metaphorically speaking, of course.
A few years ago, the appropriately named Amy Winehouse (of "Rehab" fame) was making news. Now, it's Charlie Sheen.
When I first accessed the Salon.com website and saw "sick of Charlie Sheen" as one of the Open Salon articles, I was expecting an entertaining rant along similar lines.
You've taken a current "Tabloid TV" topic and given it a serious turn, and I commend you for it. Your points are valid.
You write:
"I love men. I know they’re smarter and more sensitive than the culture gives them credit for. But I don’t understand why so many of them are clueless about violence against women.
"Maybe because abuse is swept under the rug when prominent people like Charlie Sheen do it...Maybe because men have no idea what it’s like for us gals to live with the threat of violence every day of our lives.
"Every male who walks behind you, every overeager guy hitting on you at a bar, every man staring too long at you on the bus, every creepy taxi driver ogling you in the rearview mirror, every date with a stranger, every escalating fight with a husband, every unlit street, every empty subway car, every parking garage creates a moment and place where every woman knows something horrible could happen...
"Maybe ladies have to keep letting folks know the pain of what we go through. Maybe one day, they’ll believe us."
I sympathize, yes. I do. And I'm supportive of the women's movement taking a stand against rape, domestic violence, etc.
Try looking at things from the perspective of sensitive men. Despite the strides made by the women's movement, women are still the ones being romantically pursued and we men are the ones expected to do the pursuing.
And this requires looks and income! And women (right wing women, anyway) continue to treat sensitive males with disdain, as wimps, likening them to Woody Allen, etc.
In the '80s, when an older gentleman suggested a possible explanation for the lack of women in my life back then was, "you have an aura of harmlessness...women don't feel threatened by you," my friend Chris commented cynically, "They want a rapist?!"
Things have changed considerably since then with the Internet and online dating. I understand your feelings in this regard, but think you shouldn't be so quick to write off men. Some of us do care, and do treat ladies with respect.
I don't like much of Sheen's behavior, but I think you have to be very careful of accusing him of direct violence. Many incidents have been a "he said/she said" situation. The incident with Ms. Preston involved a weapon that fell out of his pants pocket and discharged accidentally. He was not in the room when it happened. Two of his recent ex-wives have repeatedly said that he was not physically abusive to them. Verbal and emotional abuse is still abuse, but it is not the same as physical violence, which is what you claim he is guilty of. I also believe that the women he hires for sex/companionship are often as high as he is and we all know that crazy shit happens when you do drugs and don't sleep for days.
I wouldn't be interested in his company, but presumably many of the women he is with choose to be with him, either for money, or out of curiosity and the age-old mistaken belief that they can "change him. It's not quite as cut and dried as you infer.
I think you have included the refutation of your own argument. why do you presume that sheens "stock is on the rise"? he just got fired. this is likely to be a major flameout for him, as most others are concurring. and yes, chris browns abuse and mel gibsons were definitely met with widespread horror, and in both their cases, the damage to their careers has been epic, nearly catastrophic. so I think you are just seeing a public meltdown that will soon end similarly Brownian or Gibsonian.
This is obviously a loaded subject and Sheen is unintentionally pushing many buttons - violence against women, celebrity culture, mental illness, substance use, corporate greed - for those of us who are searching beneath the surface of his "meltdown." Thank you all so much for giving me even more to think about!