I've almost had it with all this stupid crap. Everytime things start going good for us there's always something that has to ruin it. First her, then rumors. I'm a very jealous girl. I'm sorry. I don't like knowing I could be replaced just like that. It makes me feel like crap. You promise I'm the only one, I'm your everything. we're gonna make it. As of this moment..screw that. I just want it to be over with. I'm not ending it because you mean a lot to me. You really do. I just hate being the jealous person I am. It happened with him and she eventually got him. I just don't want it to happen again. I'm not ready to lose you. You tell me I won't. I don't know how to believe anything you say..this just can't be the end. Not already. 

My friend texted me after school and told me he took a picture of some girls boobs. And someone told her that he talks crap about me. Of course they're the two girls he's already been talking to that I can't stand. I don't believe but then I wonder if it is true. It's breaking me. Some boys in my advisory also told me that he thought I flirted a lot with other boys. Bullship. I don't want to confront him because that will just cause a fight and I hate fighting.

This always happens to me. I let someone in and they let me down. I told you I trust you. The truth? Of course I don't. Are you insane? I haven't trusted any boys for about a year now.  I'm helpless. Either he talks to other girls and I just instantly get jealous. He's with his friends so I leave him alone, to hang out with them. I'm a horrible girlfriend, I know. I don't know if I can do this. Especially with school getting out.  How are we going to make it through this?

--tayah.