Deven's shoppin' and in a bad mood AGAIN (now w/added Sally)
I really have no intention of my blog becoming a regular tirade against shopping, but DAMN IT! I'll keep it brief.
I'm going to a wedding this weekend. I was just going to wear one of my old dresses, though they're now a bit big on me and sort of for the wrong season. I was telling Daniel this and he said "Oh be a woman and go buy a new dress." I can hear you out there, you're shocked by what he said too. Of course I was mostly shocked that he was listening to me prattle on about dresses, but his comment was sufficiently snarky, that I decided to do just that.
No dresses. I can't find a dress in my size anywhere. When did they decide that fat women aren't going to wear dresses? I give up, I'll move to separates.
Well this is about thirty sizes too big. And purple. And too low cut. And I'm fairly certain someone would slice me up and bread me.
This is the same size as the purple one. It's made by the same manufacturer. Are they just trying to drive women insane? Oh that ruching is just so attractive.
This is horrifying. What is that thing on the shoulder? It's also too big. It's also about twenty years too old for me. I look thrilled to be alive. My hair is becoming more hostile by the moment.
Ai caramba! I could be in a kettle drum band.
I swear this didn't look as bad as this in person. I actually bought this. Here I look like a tired submarine with ruffles.
I might have Photoshopped this a little, to make it a bit more attractive. It's subtle, you might not even spot it. I bought this too. I'll wear a jacket.
I bought jewelry to make myself feel better. YAY AMERICA!
*Sally wanted me to post proof of her fab dress. I say she should take a pic of her in it and then BLOG -
Sally's dress!
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Tom King
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Comments
Thank goodness for jewelry.
HUZZAH!
(thumbified because you'd give your left arm for fashion justice!)
that thing in your hand? And yet, it seems relevant somehow.
"Tired submarine with ruffles" Good one! Thumbifikashun!
(How DOES the troll manage?)
Otherwise, I'm voting for the ruffles...but only as long as you find out where you misplaced your arm...and then promptly re-attach it.
I'd thumb you ten more times for the dressing room photos but they won't let me. So, ten virtual thumbs for you.
!> !> !> !> !> !> !> !> !> !>
http://www.wholesale-beadedjewelry.com/image/salwar_kameez/CFSK-6.jpg
I can't figure out why we haven't figured it out. It's beautiful, it's comfortable, it'll solve all our fashion problems.
Brave and funny woman!
rated!!!
I'm real glad you didn't go with anything chiffon leopard print.
I'm with Jodi on this one. Let's torture the bastards.
You are a brave woman. I could never photograph myself in dressing rooms without major photoshopping. Of course, you did lose an arm.
Thumb.
Big Fig was a Fig Newton sales guy from the '70's tv we watched way too much of. We said it with affection towards her, but not to the body type.
It makes evey occassion a seperates event because there are no hips to speak of....but then again, you don't have a giant ass, like some people....
I liked the ruffled pritate shirt one, but I am like that. I would sport it with red velevet slacks.
When wearing red velevet slacks and a ruffled black pirate shirt with floofy sleeves, the correct verb is to "sport", btw. Officially.
I don't wear anything that I cannot also "sport". It is policy.
Lately, Macy's has been nicer to me, they have good looking well-made things (up on the third floor, of course, behind the freakin China and color-coordinated blenders and shit, but I don't care) that actually fit. It's been cool.
And I'm so tired of dressing up. Just got some great almost black Calvin jeans with shiny black sequins on the butt, paired it with a great fancy evening top and dress shoes, and voila! You're formal.
But, I agree - what's the deal with all the ruching? It doesn't make women of any size look good.
Here's the kicker. I'm going to wear something old to the wedding.
Thanks for all the suggestions. Normally I would just order something. This was sort of a short notice idea. I like Cold Water Creek stuff - because I'M REALLY OLD. J.Jill is sometimes a good place too - but just the outlet. For some reason the stores in the mall don't have larger sizes.
But Sandra, how did you know I have a dress in chiffon leopard print that I've never worn?
Your bravery should be rewarded.....if you find something you like....I will give you a steeeep discount.
God I hate crappy clothes for cute fat chicks.
You happen to be a cute chick....(dunno if fat is a word you have embraced or not..)
and hey.....I own Coldwater Creek stuff too....you can find some pretty neato things amoungst the grammy wear.
Forgive the promo in this post...truly..Its really not about me at all....
I just found this to be wonderful.
(and the flapper top and silver satin blouse are rather adorable!)
Jhone
Owner
Persephone
http://www.persephoneplus.com
I'll echo you and also recommend Coldwater Creek. One thing I like about them: Their sizes are so consistent that you can order an item over the web, and it will fit. Now you might not LIKE it, but it WILL fit. And you can return it, for the cost of the postage (or take it to an outlet store). And they have frequent sales, and lots of coupons available. And you don't have to put up with dressing room lighting.
I would wear them around my house by myself. They are that HAWT.
I thought I might get pelted with anti-promo-tomatoes...I really did mean well!
Hope to chat sometime..and I am very much looking forward to more bloggy goodness from you..
ePriddy....I love you.
I said: "Sandra, how did you know I have a dress in chiffon leopard print that I've never worn?"
Then I took a pic of it and sent it to Deven for proof. She photoshopped it of course, but just so you know, those white things on the sleeve are the tags I never took off.
I don't know why it has those strange black blobs on it now (Freaky?), but Sandra, I promise, it is totally chiffon leopard print. And in person, it's actually quite fab.
Perhaps I will take a pic in it and blog about how hard it is to find dresses when your bottom is a 6 and your top is a 10. Don't hate me because I'm top heavy.... or bottom lite.