"Mom, your fans have a request."

"My fans?  Which fans?  Are you talking about the plug in fans?  If so, forget it, they're in storage until April."

"No, no, I mean human fans."

"Oh.  Did someone call you from The Manor?  I'm not moving back there.  I don't care if they can't find someone that will work the inside of the jigsaw puzzle.  Mitch was telling me last week that since I've left all that happens on the jigsaw table is the border.  Then someone swipes all the other pieces in the floor.  So if someone is trying to get me to come back, it's just because they're too lazy to sort out the pieces."

"No, not from The Manor.  Remember I told you that I keep an online diary?  Well I've been writing about our days together.  Some people from there have a request."

"People read your diary?  Why?  I know your cousin reads it, but Terri-Sue is the biggest busy body you've ever met.  That woman really needs some magazine subscriptions or something.  Who are these people?"

"Well for the most part they're other people that keep online diaries."

"And you read theirs?"

"Yes."

"Do the others write about their mothers too?"

"Some of them, sometimes."

"Are their moms as cute as me?"

"Why? Are you afraid of the competition?"

"No.  But if they're funnier than me, I could tell you some stories."

"I think we're doing just fine right now."

"Is this where your devil doll has her computer site?"

"Yes, it's at the same place as Freaky Troll."

"Does she have more fans than me?"

"...ah.. No, I don't think so."

"Well good.  That little thing has too big of an ego as it is.  What do my fans want?"

"They want you to growl."

"You told me to never growl again."

"Mom, I was sort of teasing you.  They want to hear you growl."

"I don't know if I can just growl if I'm thinking about it."

"You seemed to be doing fine that day at WholeFoods."

"I wasn't thinking about it then.  I was just thinking about teasing you."

"Think about teasing me now."

"It won't work.  You asked me to growl."

"Just try..."