I woke up this morning to a most beautiful sight. Snow as big as my head falling peacefully upon the already twelve inches that lie on the ground. Everything was so silent, so peaceful. My neighbor's holiday lights glittered with the white backdrop. The smell of logs on the fire.
Sure, we don't have presents under the tree, but we were gifted with something much more valuable than Wii Fit, the treasure of family huddled together. Sure, we don't have special holiday foodstuffs, but we do have the sweet taste of simple pleasure of our own company.
The lights go out. The beauty deepens. No distractions. Light only coming from the white of the ever falling snow outside. And I realize, after a week of being blessed with being trapped in our home, it turns out that this may be the best Christmas we've ever had.
....
....
I'M LYING. FOR GOD'S SAKE SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE! I'M THIGH DEEP IN SNOW! THERE ARE NO PRESENTS HERE! UPS HASN'T BROUGHT US ANYTHING IN A WEEK! WHERE IS OUR RED VELVET CAKE UPS?!! YOU'RE EATING RIGHT NOW, ARENT' YOU? BASTARDS! I'M FIGHTING THE FRUIT FLIES FOR THE WINE! MY GOD WE'RE OUT OF FRITOS!
HELP!! HELP!! SEND CAKE!
SEND STEPS!
OUR CARS ARE CRYING!!
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
wendyo
Molly Lilly
Hildy Johnson
kipouros
Redstocking Grandma
the one about
Salon.com
Comments
The cake would be a problem though.
(is mom with you?) or living off the stash?
happy christmas!
You wanna see snow? I'm a gonna post some snow here in a bit.
No more complaining!
xo
M
You poor things. Something must be done!!
Just hang in there...April is right around the corner. Oh...and I think I saw a few things that were wrapped sticking out of that snowbank on the right.
Moved back to Mississippi. Y'all come live here. We don't get snowed in.
fruit flies, KILL THEM, then saute them in a little olive oil,
or butter, if you haven't eaten that already. There! Gotcher
protein. And they do taste like a combo of red velvet cake and
Fritos!
The natives, as you can tell from above, are going crazy. Those of us who settled here from other parts of the northern US are marveling at the inability of a major metropolitan area to deal with a few inches of snow.
I'm sending you an unlimited supply of spiritual, metaphoric fritos. There, now, isn't that better than stupid old "real" food? (Just wait a few more days in this condition -- everything I'm saying will begin to make sense as the sugar and carb supply to your brain decreases.) I'll even throw in some imaginary Kentucky Pulled Cream Candy.
Ok, there. I've just finally pushed myself over the edge. All I have in the cabinet is dried kelp flakes. But ah! Didn't I see a moldy lemon in the fridge? Happy Metaphoric New Yea y'all!
This takes me back. In missoula Montana we used to get 5 feet on the ground as the base, then regular snows took it higher. The 20" we got last week here in the Hudson Valley seems tame by comparision.
I have never sen ALL CAPS used to better effect. nice.
the st. Bernard is on his way
yough garra da snough -
Anna Nowyough compleighnin
yough gottnough Fritough
Here in oztreighlya
we got thirty degrees
of sunshine and lobsta
Anna Prawns & chablees
Sough thisis Krismiss.....
Yough can keep ya damsnough
The chopper is broughken
Fritough drops nough gough.
Tough!