tequilaanddonuts

tequilaanddonuts
Location
Seattle, Washington,
Birthday
July 01
Bio
I'm middle aged and pudgy, and I'm sure my roots could stand a touch up. ________________________________________ Most Wednesdays are spent with my mother. She has seized control of my blog. She is quite proud of that fact. ______________________________________ I am occasionally.. ah.. grumpy. There will be rants about things that absolutely do not matter. _____________________________________ I champion elder rights. You want to rile me up? You just show some disrespect to seniors. For the most part, you have time on your side, please show them patience. You'll need that karma on the flip side.

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 14, 2009 9:58PM

I hope Sandra is happy!

Rate: 39 Flag

Sandra The Artist Formerly Known As Miller has a posting about the best compliment you ever received.  Lovely idea.  I enjoyed it.  I enjoyed thinking about the nicest thing someone said to me.  I enjoyed reading what others were saying.  And then I had to muck it up and call my mom and ask her the same question:

[ring]

"Hello. This is your mother.  Is someone dead?"

"What?  No.  Why?"

"Well we were just with each other a couple of hours ago.  I figured if you were calling this soon either someone was dead or you left something here."

"No one's dead and nothing is missing.  I just called to ask you a question."

"Oh, are you watching Family Feud too?  I'd say your pet.  What's your answer?"

"Mom I'm not watching Family Feud.... okay, it will bug me if I don't know.  What was the survey question?"

" 'Name something you wouldn't want frozen.' "

"I guess I wouldn't want my pet frozen, no... gee I can't think of a good answer.  Have they turned over one yet?"

"Yes.  The number one answer was popsicle.  How does that make sense?"

"ah.. It doesn't.  Are you sure you heard the question right?"

"Let me turn it up....... OH!  It's name something that should be frozen!  I'd say popsicle.  What's your answer?"

"Margarita."

"That's up there!  Number six.  I wouldn't have thought of that.  Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow...."

"Wait! Wait! Mom I didn't ask you my question yet."

"Okay, hurry up.  Who Wants To Be A Millionaire is coming on in a couple of minutes."

"I was reading the online diary thing and someone posted a really lovely blog about compliments.  I was curious about what was the nicest compliment you ever received."

"That's easy.  Remember I told you I use to work for a bank in downtown Dallas?"

"That was when you were really young, right?"

"Yes.  I lied about my age.  I was fifteen.  Well there was this good looking man at the bank.  He was really good looking, like William Powell good looking.  All the girls use to swoon around him."

"Uh huh..."

"One day, in the elevator, in front of the elevator operator even, he turned to me and said, 'If I was ever to step out on my wife, it would be with you.' "

" ::gasp:: "

"Yes, I had the same reaction.  So sweet."

"NO!  That was awful!  How can you think that was sweet?"

"It was too sweet!  We didn't have a fling, or even a flirt!"

"Mom, that was the cheesiest line I've ever heard.  Ewww!"

"I don't know why you think that it was a bad thing to say.  I was very flattered."

"Mom, you were fifteen!  And there's this slick older man saying that he'd cheat on his spouse with you."

"He didn't know I was fifteen.  I told everyone I was sixteen."

"That doesn't make it better!"

"Well I still think it was nice.  Do you want to play the money bonus round with me?  Or do you have another question that will try to ruin a memory for me?"

"No, I'm not by the t.v. right now.  Mom, I'm sorry if I made you feel sad about... you know, no, I'm not, that was cheesy and inappropriate what he said to you."

"Who knew I raised such a prune?  Call me tomorrow.  I'll make a list of nice things people have said to me and you can tell me how they were all wrong."

"Mom, don't get all puffed up."

"I'm teasing, I'm teasing.  Call me anyway, even if you're going to make me feel bad."

"Mom, are you trying to make me feel guilty?"

"Yes."

"It worked."

"Goodnight."

Mom, at 15!

I hate games like this, but guess how old my mom is in this picture.

 

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Mom at 15 is like you now so that means that you will be weird and funny when you are old. Cool.
Wow, Mom was quite lovely at 15! It's a good thing that she wasn't young now. That sleeze would be luring her to his car, telling her they're looking for a lost puppy.
I was over at Sandra's and read that you were going to ask your Mom, so I came over hear and you had! Lovely response. And sorry, but at 15 your mom was HOT. Indeed, she looks a lot like my mom in her young pictures, who o'steph will confirm remained hot well up into her 80's.

Hilarious post, as usual. Guffawed at the frozen pet.
Thumbed (with my compliments).
But wait! How many cats = the top of the scale!? You had to ask that, too, right?
Hi there! i am new here at OS but I've been reading your blog since last year. I love your mom! I check you here everyday and see if you've posted anything new and it really makes my day when I see that you have. :) It's like me eating fritos dipped in salsa... definitely a high point anyday.
Hilarious. I think YOU are the best compliment your mom ever had.
hermionedwitch, that was such a sweet thing to say - now I'm going to say something that sounds so whorish, but you might want to click on my last post where Mom and Louise review a movie. There's a rating system that's bound to come up again. - ewww, that really reeks of blog pimping, I don't mean it to, I just don't want you to come back and think "why the hell is she talking about cats and crows?"
Damn, your mom has that hot Geena Davis smile going there - no wonder the guy hit on her.

I wouldn't though - I heard your mom swings a mean purse.

Thumbed. Just so long as there is no mention of the sad sex thing again.
yeah i did read that one. you know what i think? i think they're just messin' with your mind. haw! i actually hear them saying "let's see if she's really gonna put that cats and crow thing on her online diary thingamajig" :) still, i loved it. rated!
hermionedwitch I tell the ape that all the time. The old ape plays her like a fiddle.
aw come on now. things were not the same back then. first of all, to be 18 and married was perfectly normal. i dont think 17 and married was unusual. so 16 was perfectly fair game.

when i went to one of my thousand colleges, a teacher played the entire I have a dream speech. first time i ever heard the whole thing. gave me actual goosebumps. when it was over, he asked for impressions.

some girl said he was a sexist bc he didnt say women. teacher said it was a different time and didnt she believe that he was including women, too? course he was.

in keeping with those different times, i bet that man did not mean your mom any harm, or even disrespect. now if she had been married at that time, that's a different story. in that case, it would hae been disrespectful at least to her husband, from the POV of a man back then.

or anyway thats my guess.
Hootchie Momma! I don't know anybody who looked like that at 15, she looks at least 21 and (don't get skeeved out) hawt. No way that married guy thought she was jailbait, I'm just sayin. Even if he was a pig. Though apparently that was the "line" of its day.

Okay, I take one thing back: some 10 year olds today look 21. It's downright disgusting.
You two really need your own radio program.

If I were gay and stepping out on my h, it would be with your 15 year old mother!
isn't guilt what Moms do best?
I don't blame the guy after looking at the photo!
Aw, she was pretty. Still is.
I agree, your mom's mom should have had him for breakfast- what a thing to say to a 15 yo! I can see why she was flattered, but skeezy bank man's an appropriate tag. :p yuck
Hilarious! Your mom is pretty in the picture and she doesn't look 15 so maybe the man did think she was older then even 16. I had to laugh about the guilty, what are mom's for but to make us feel guilty. Great post loved it
Your mom is lovely. Then and now. Love the pet...name something that should not be frozen...Snort!
Ha. "Is someone dead?" Do you think they had out these lines in the delivery room?

Your mom was sure pretty.
whew, there are two guys who commented before me, so I guess it's OK for me to chime in on one of these girly posts.

That was hilarious. I think your mom sounds terrific. And looking at that picture, I can't say I blame the old fart (who was probably only 30 years old or so) for admitting the truth in that elevator.
"Who knew I raised such a prune?" Hilarious!
That's a very pretty photo of your mom but she looks a lot older than 15. I can still see that face in her current photos.
I love your relationship with your mom! And that photo of your mom is so lovely and sweet. At 15! The hair style, the jacket, the pose - really capture a moment in time. I could read these conversations (between you and your mom) every day - they are beautiful, in many, many ways.
Hands down best compliment I ever received was from a friend of mine when I was fresh into being a single parent. There was never a question of COULD I do it...just a question of HOW I'd do it. Well, this is what my friend said to me.

"I hope some day when I have kids that I am half the mama you are. You are an inspiration to all of us future Moms."

It's not easy to get me to tear up, but having that said to me with all her sincerity, man...it really gave me hope.
I'm new. I'm an idiot. I didn't mean to post my best compliment on this blog...my apologies.

Forgive me?
It's amazing how much older women used to look - they wanted to look more adult and now we want to look younger.
look how cute and sophisticated she is!
Your mother is lovely. And hilarious.
Your mom's look in this photo reminds me of my Aunt Rosie. I didn't know her as an adult, so I don't know if she was as much of a firecracker as your mom. She was sweet to me when I was little.
Hey and for the record - I, Sandra, am very happy!
You mom was gorgeous. I can see that tilt in her smile which speaks to her quirky humor too!
"Guilt--it's a mothers job," a direct quote from our mom.
You two look so much alike. And, the eyes and the smile - mischief, sparkle, and a little caustic wit thrown in.
I'm now so very attached to your mother. I'm motherless. Hope you don't mind sharing. Love the post.
Just want you to know that there's nothing I look forward to more on OS than the continuing adventures of you and your mom
::snickering::

I love your mom.
Your mom is unassailable! Hail Mom!

I have gotten the biggest kick out of your Mom Blogs!
She does look 16.

Funny post.
This is so fresh and funny. Thanks for the peak into your life!
again. laugh out loud funny. thank you. mom is/was adorable. this is like talking to my grandmother.

her: you need to meet your cousin norman gorman, dear. he lives near you. he's a lovely man.
me: okay, that means he's nice to his mother. i'll try, grandma esther. i'm kind of busy now with the screenwriting thing. (omitting the being a big 'ho thing so as not to cause heart attack.)
her: don't try. go meet him. Norman Gorman, darling, Norman Gorman.
me: sounds like a Dr. Suess character.
her: no, darling, he's a dentist.