“So what’s up with the diary people?”

“I don’t know Mom, our internet connection has been down.”

“::gasp:: How long?”

“For a couple of weeks now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?  You could have come over and used our invisible computer connection.”

“Mom, it’s not that big of a deal.  It might have been a blessing in disguise.  I’ve been able to finish painting the kitchen and I’ve read three books.”

“Who has been telling them about me?”

“Ah… well.. no one Mom.”

“Oh no, no, no, no.  This will not do.  People are fickle.  They’ll forget all about us.”

“Mom, it’s just been a couple of …”

“Did you tell them about Sexy City?”

“Not yet. I…”

“Did you write up the interview questions yet?”

“Well, no…”

“Then I’m going to find someone else to do it.”

“You’re firing me?”

“I’m not firing you, just finding a temporary fill in.  I could just get Terri-Sue to do it.”

“You’re firing me!”

“You’re so dramatic!  I’m not firing you.  Where are your notes for Sexy City?”

“I’m not giving you my notes.”

“I need the ones from the interview thing too.”

“I’m not giving you my notes.”

“We’ll swing by your house after we go to Fred Meyer and you can get them for me.”

“I’m not giving you my notes.”

“I hope they’re not too chicken scratchy.”

“I’m not giving you my notes.”

“I guess if they’re too bad, I could just have you read them to Terri-Sue…”

“That is so not going to happen.”

“From now on I’m going to tape record everything in case this happens again.”

“Mom, there’s a little bit more to this than just transcribing every thing you guys say.”

“How much more?”

“…”

“…”

“Okay, not that much more, but I’m still not giving you my notes and I’m not letting you fire me.”

“::sigh:: All right then.”

“Oh lord Mom, are you going to pout about this?”

“I’ve never pouted in my life.  ::sigh:: I guess I can’t force you to give me your notes, even though they are my own words you’re using.  ::sigh:: Let’s just go run our errands.”

“Mom…”

“Don’t tell Tansy and Louise about this, it would just break their hearts.  Let’s just go…”

“For Pete’s sake Mom…”

“Come on.  We’re just wasting your valuable time…”

“UGH!  Okay, how about this.  I’ll sit down right now and hand write out something for the diary people telling them about our computer troubles.  I can type it up and then drive to my friend’s house to use her connection to post it.”

“How long before you get your invisible computer thingie fixed?”

“They say just a couple more days.”

“I guess that will have to do then.  If it goes on for much longer than that, I’ll just get Terri-Sue to do it for us.”

“Are you threatening to replace me?”

“Yes.  Now just write down everything I’m saying:”

 Dear Diary People,

I am not dead.  My daughter’s invisible computer connection is broken.  Please don’t forget about me.  The ladies of the Lakeside Retirement Home still have some things to tell you that might be important.  Please stay tuned.  We will be back as quickly as possible.

Sincerely,

Betty and the Gang

“ ‘Betty and the Gang’?”

“Yes.  Has a ring to it, doesn’t it?”

“ah…  I don’t think Thelma would think so.”

“::snort:: She’d like something along the lines of ‘The Dangerous Dolls of Doom’.”

“Actually I like ‘The Dangerous Dolls of Doom’.  Maybe I can get you guys silk jackets.”

“Maybe Tansy can knit us some.  Now you make sure you get that message to the Diary People and you get that computer thing fixed!”