Decandent Sundae: Could I please be the first one to ask for more information about the tongue balls?

Louise:  “Tongue balls?”

Mom:  “Louise, you don’t know about tongue balls?”

Louise:  “No.  What causes them?”

Mom:  “Stupidity.”

Lisa Kern:  I'll have to ask how Bob is. Any more M & M gifts we should know about?

Bob:  “Tell Lisa that I’m just fine.  I might take bathroom breaks often, but other than that I’m in fine health.”

Louise, Tansy, Mom:  “Teeheheheeehehee.”

Bob:  “There might be a few more M&Ms up my sleeve.”

Louise, Tansy, Mom:  “Teeheheheeeheheee.”

Ablonde: Did any of the ladies participate in adult relations prior to marriage?
Did any of the ladies participate in adult relations outside their marriage?

Mom:  “Why would we talk about that unless we were being paid?”

Tansy:  “Are you saying that we should be paid for having adult relations outside of marriage?”

Mom, Louise:  “NO!”

Thelma:  “Not a bad idea if you ask me.”

Ablonde: If they had to do it over again, would they watch "Kill Bill" 1 or 2 or no to either one?

Mom:  “Kill Bills were awful, but it was fun to complain about them.”

Louise:  “Yes, it was nice to have something to fret about.”

Bob:  “I kind of liked the movies.  They were very colorful.”

Thelma:  “You just liked that the tall blonde lady had a baby with that dried up beef jerky man.”

Bob:  “A man can hope Thelma.”

Louise, Tansy, Mom:  “Teeeheheheeeheheee.”

Ablonde: Any advice about menopause?

Mom:  “Menopause didn’t really affect me too much.”

Me:  “::snort::”

Mom:  “What?”

Me:  “Nothing, nothing.”

Louise:  “I can tell you in my first year of menopause I went nutty.  I ran away from home over a wet towel left on the bed.  I went and stayed with my aunt that never got married.  I thought she had it all figured out.”

Mom:  “How long did you stay gone?”

Louise:  “Until I figured out that my aunt hadn’t figured it all out after all.  She just had a special girlfriend.”

Tansy:  “We’re special girlfriends.”

Louise:  “Tansy, we’re not that kind of special girlfriends.”

Tansy:  “I consider you my special girlfriends!”

Mom:  “Tansy, does that mean you want to use your tongue ball on us?”

Tansy:  “::gasp:: What?.... Ooooooohhhhhhhhh.  Special girlfriend.  Oh, I get it.”

Lisa Solod Warren:  Ask if Thelma and Louise have seen that movie about them. And what they think about that!

Louise:  “There’s a movie about us?”

Thelma:  “No one paid me.”

Me:  “She’s talking about Thelma and Louise.  Have you guys seen that?”

Bob:  “I have.  Fine movie.”

Louise:  “I don’t think I’ve seen that one.”

Thelma:  “I haven’t.”

Mom:  “We’ll put it on the list.”

Ablonde: Will everything "down there" really dry up?

Bob:  “::cough::”

Mom:  “We should move on to the next question.”

Ablonde:  Is drinking (alcohol) underrated?

Tansy:  “I think it’s important to stay hydrated.”

Louise:  “The question was about alcohol Tansy.”

Tansy:  “I know.”

odetteroulette:  In reference to movies, what is their favorite movie? Favorite movie star?

Mom:  “I love Trip to Bountiful..  My favorite movie star was Eve Arden.  I just liked her.  She was sneaky funny.  I don’t think she got the attention she should have.”

Louise:  “My favorite is Gone With the Wind.  Betty I’m sort of surprised that wasn’t your favorite movie too.”

Mom:  “Scarlett was a spoiled brat.”

Louise:  “My favorite movie star is Barbara Stanwyck.  I always wanted to be like her.  She always played a strong woman in the movies.”

Bob:  “I love El Dorado.  That movie was all about good friends.  You don’t hear as much about that movie as you do some of The Duke’s other films.  Shame, because it’s a good one.  And I always wanted to be as suave as Laurence Olivier.”

Mom:  “You are Bob.”

Louise, Mom, Tansy:  “Teeheheheeee.”

Thelma:  “Sunset Boulevard.  Hard not to like a movie when the right person ends up shot.  Who could ever be as wonderful as Katherine Hepburn?  No one, I tell you.”

Tansy:  “I just love Pretty Woman.  What a fun movie!”

Mom:  “Tansy, it was about a prostitute.  That whole movie was sort of insulting to women, well and men too.”

Tansy:  “Oh poo Betty.  It was fun to watch her go shopping for all those pretty clothes.  It’s a movie.  It doesn’t have to preach to us.  Movies can just be fun too.”

Mom:  “I guess…”

Tansy:  “My favorite star is George Clooney.”

Louise:  “George Clooney?  For what movie?”

Tansy:  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of his movies.  But he is a very pretty man.”

Thelma:  “::snort::”

Ablonde: Does size matter?

Mom:  “Size of what?”

Louise:  “That’s sort of a vague question.  I think you need enough space to be comfortable.  I’m fine with my one bedroom apartment.”

Tansy:  “It would be nice to have a crafting room though.”

Louise:  “That would be a real luxury.”

Mom:  “You heard about that rich lady that has a room for just her wrapping paper?”

Louise:  “I think that might be a sin.  So I guess we could say, yes, size is important.”

Catamitebastard:  What, EXACTLY, happened with that pot roast in '61?

Mom, Bob, Louise, Tansy, Thelma:  “….”

Mom, Bob, Louise, Tansy, Thelma:  “….”

Mom:  “Deven, what exactly is the questioner going on about?”

Me:  “…ah.. I think he was trying to be funny.”

Mom:  “Well bless his little confused heart.”

 odetteroulette: Did any of them live through the Depression? What was that like?

Louise:  “I think all of us were youngsters during the Depression.  I remember the rationing stamps.  My mother loved to bake and she would trade sugar for coffee with one of our boarders.”

Mom:  “Now that’s something that you’re hearing people talk about again, taking in boarders.  We always had two or three.  I never had a bedroom.  Not even to share.  My sisters and I slept in beds in the upstairs hallway.  Now kids are grumpy if they don’t have their own bathrooms.”

Thelma:  “We were pretty well off during the Depression.  My father worked for Lucky Strike.  We had cigarettes shoved into candy dishes.  My parents smoked.  They were told they had to for the appearance of it.  All of us girls hated smoking.  I remember my mother going down to the market and handing out cigarettes to the men waiting there for day labor.”

Bob:  “I grew up on a farm not far from here.  I really didn’t have a concept of what The Depression was about.  We were fine.”

Tansy:  “My mother was a seamstress.  Dad died before I could remember him.  We lived with my aunt who ran a refined ladies boarding home.  I remember all of us playing fashion show.  The ladies would pretend to be shoppers and we would model the clothes for them.  I don’t think I was old enough to know I was suppose to be miserable.”

ePriddy:  Does size stay the same over time or does it shrivel with the man and the skin?

Thelma:  “These diary people are perverts.”

Bob:  “Well by the time a man might notice, it’s too late for anyone else to care.”

Mom, Louise, Tansy:  “Teeeheheheeee.”

Donna Sandstrom:  I would like to know, from each of them, what movie do they think that we should see?

Thelma:  “All About Eve.  That movie has the best script of any film.  Not like these silly movies now, all flash and nothing to really say except for the most obvious things.”

Louise:  “Cabaret.  And not because it’s a musical.  I always thought that movie showed how big things could be crumbling around you, but you’re still more concerned with love.”

Mom:  “The Best Years of Our Lives.”  That movie showed how sometimes trying to make a family work is more scary than war.”

Bob:  “Sometimes you just need a good laugh.  The Road to Morocco is just a good time.”

Tansy:  “To Catch A Thief.”  That movie has the best kiss scene!”

(I'm going to stop here for now.  I didn't realize how long this thing was.  I'll post part two on Sunday.  You do know y'all are perverts, right?)