(Part One is HERE)

Susan Mitchell:  Did any of them every keep a diary? Did they ever read it to anyone? Did they ever read someone else's dairy? If they did, did they find out something juicy?

Mom:  “I kept a diary in the third grade.  My dad bought me one for my ninth birthday.  I wrote in it all year and on my tenth birthday I threw it into the fire barrel.  I thought that was what you were supposed to do with a diary.”

Tansy:  “Oh there was a boarder that kept a steamy diary!”

Louise:  “How would you know about that Tansy?”

Tansy:  “She use to read from it to us during Sunday brunch.  She wrote all these romantic stories.”

Louise:  “Tansy, that’s a writing journal, not a diary.  A diary is supposed to be about things that happened in your life.”

Tansy:  “Well, this was a diary of what she wanted to happen in her life.  I still think that’s a dairy.”

Thelma:  “When I was sixteen, my cousin found my diary and ripped out the pages and tacked them up on the bathroom wall.  I wish I had burned it in the fire barrel.  I wish I had burned him in the fire barrel more.”

***

 Sally Swift and Wayne Gallant:  Do the ladies think Bob pees that much or is it something else?

Mom:  “Maybe Bob is a spy!”

Louise, Tansy, Bob, Mom:  “Teeheheheheheheeee…”

Bob:  “Yes, tell the diary people that I have to call headquarters hourly with my report on the covert activities of these femme fatales.”

Mom, Louise, Tansy:  “Teeheheheheheeee.”

 ***

o’stephanie:  Do they have a happy hour there or is it called something else?

Louise:  “There’s a club in the building called the “Wine-y Babies”.  We get together every month and share wine, cheese, fruit, and popcorn.”

Mom:  “I don’t drink.”

Louise:  “Thank God for that Betty, you’re too much of a hoot as it is.”

Bob:  “She is indeed.”

Me:  “::snort::”

Mom:  “Did you say something Deven?”

Me:  “No, no…”

***

Fabflamingo:  Favorite cuss word.

Louise:  “We can’t say curse words on the computer.”

Mom:  “That’s right, we could get sued by the FTD.”

Me:  “Mom, FTD is the flower delivery people.”

Mom:  “Don’t be silly.  No one is going to send us flowers for saying dirty words.”

 ***

Fabflimingo:  Favorite, forbidden snack. Got any now? Hid?

Louise:  “I love peanut butter cups.  I know they’re terrible for you.  I have a package hidden in the butter compartment of my refrigerator.

Mom:  “It’s not hidden now.  I’m going to steal it.”

Louise:  “Oh you…”

Tansy:  “I love my blackberry schnapps.”

Louise:  “Tansy, I had no idea you were such a drinker.”

Tansy:  “I’m not!  A glass of schnapps at night is more like a snack than a drink.”

Louise:  “A glass?  That would put me on the floor.”

Tansy:  “That’s why it’s my favorite snack.”

***

Fabflimingo:  Best memory from childhood that always makes ‘em giggle.

Thelma:  “When I was twelve I was given the job of washing the church choir robes.  They were horrible woolen things.  They had to be handwashed and blocked.  The preacher’s wife gave me some kind of liquid stuff to soak them in and she was there to supervise, thank goodness, or I would have been hanged as a witch.”

Mom:  “Oh why, why?  What happened?”

Thelma:  “She told me that I could use the old manual washer ringer to get the soaking liquid out.  I moved the robes to the holding tub, picked up the first robe and fed it through the wringer.  I don’t know what happened, but somehow the ringer rollers must have caused a spark.  The whole tub of robes shot up in flames.  I laughed until I peed my pants.  I was grounded for that, the laughing, not the burning.”

Mom:  “That’s your funniest childhood memory?  Burning up the choir robes?”

Thelma:  “Yes.  The ladies of the choir all hated those robes.  For the next couple of weeks they would sneak candy and books to me to thank me for getting rid of those moth ridden things once and for all.  I also got the reputation of getting things done.  Served me well the rest of my life.”

Louise:  “The memory that makes me giggle is when I was about seven.  I caught my parents in an intimate position. My poor father was so traumatized by this.  They swooped me up and ran me to a local midway.”

Me:  “What’s a midway?”

Louise:  “You know dear, a midway, like at a fair.  We had one in our city that stayed open in the summer months.  Years and years later I was speaking to my mother about this.  She said they rushed me to the midway because father was convinced that all the bright lights, games, and noise would cancel out my short term memory and make me forget what I saw.  It actually did the opposite.  Every time I was intimate I would think about the ring toss.”

***

Fabflimingo:  What is the stupidest thing one of your kids every did?

Thelma:  “We don’t have the time to cover that.  Some of mine were stupid from the bassinet on.”

***

voicegal:  What do you want from the diary people?

Mom:  “We like the diary people.  Some of them listen to us.  That’s enough for me.”

Thelma:  “I wouldn’t mind some money.”

***

Mr. Bitters:  My question: What would they consider to be the best times in their lives?

Mom:  “When I first got married, and pregnant, and we bought a house.  I thought we had life by the tail.  Everything seems so possible.  Then you slowly realize that things are not what they appear and life is messy, terrible, and wonderful all at once.  But I still think back to those couple of years, where I was just so sure of everything.”

***

coffeegyrl:  What did they get in trouble for when they were kids, and do they still do it?

Thelma:  “I use to get in trouble for being headstrong.  I’m still headstrong.”

Tansy:  “I use to wear my Sunday shoes during the week.  I always got a spanking for that.  I never understood why you should only look pretty on Sundays.  When I grew up, I only had Sunday shoes.”

***

Shiral:  Do any/all of you ladies have some wild memories from the past that now make you smile in a way that makes your children curious?

Louise:  “Yes.”

Mom, Thelma, Tansy, Bob:  “Teeheeheheheee…”

***

Mom:  “You have to learn when to pay attention to them, and when to ignore them.  Once you can figure that out, it gets much easier.”

Louise:  “We had a rec room.  If you have a husband, you need a rec room or a garage to stick them in.”

Tansy:  “You need to find someone that loves romance.  Then your whole marriage is a honeymoon.”

Thelma:  ::retch::

Tansy:  “Did you say something Thelma?”

Thelma:  “No, no…”

***

news from the purple house:  What is the best and the worst thing about growing older?

Mom:  “The worst thing, without a doubt, is that people start to ignore you, or treat you like your feelings don’t count.  The best thing is that people start to ignore you, and you can sometimes get away with murder.”

Louise:  “The worst thing for me is that your body seems to turn on you.  Everything inside is getting you prepared for one long nap.  The best thing is you learn how just to let things go.  Not everything is so important.”

***

jenshrader:  What's their advice for parents everywhere?

Louise:  “I didn’t make this up, but it is good advice:  Don’t take credit for your kid’s accomplishments, and don’t take the blame for their failures.”

***

kitehlips:  What advice do you have for kids today?

Louise:  “Don’t take credit for your parent’s accomplishments, and don’t be your parent’s failure.”

***

kitehlips:  Any regrets?(in life, not about children....then again...)

Thelma:  “pffffttt… if you don’t have any regrets at our age, you didn’t live your life right.”

***

kitehlips:  Is there an active sex life/drama going on in the community?

Mom, Louise, Bob, Tansy, Thelma:  ::cough cough  cough::

(…and on that note, you perverts, I’m going to end part two.  There will be a part three, but I’m going to take a break from it for a few days.  This interview time was fun for me, and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, but it went on for HOURS.  Hours, with no snack.  What were we thinking?)