“I bet if I kept driving after I dropped you off, I could make it to Mexico by the time you got out of school.”
“I couldn’t think of anything to make for dinner, so I just threw some stuff in a pot. It should taste okay. I dumped Brer Rabbit Syrup all over it.”
"I use to sometimes just turn on the vacuum cleaner to run your dad out of the den."
"This is how I remember you looking. That's why I always look a little shocked when I open the door and see how you look now."
"Just don't do anything that will result in a warning story told to kids that starts with 'You know Betty's daughter...'."
"People own dogs so they'll have something to talk to that won't roll their eyes."
"Every woman should own a red dress and hoop earrings. It's perfect for wearing to a party, or when you want to start tongues wagging at church."
"Make sure as you get older, that you can still occasionally scare the poop out of people."
"Of course I didn't tell you everything you should have known about marriage. If I had, you wouldn't have gone through with it."
Mom and Freaky hope you have a good Mother's Day. Go hug something.
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Tom King
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Comments
you're so lucky!
jane, you think so? I really look more like my dad's mother - well, at least I think so.
My mom does that in a lovely way. It's something like, "Your hair looks SOOO much better that way!" As opposed to before, when my hair looked like flaming dog crap and you failed to mention it?
I love your mom.
My mom does too!
(She prefers the "kicky wig")
RATED.
I think it's really sweet that your mom remembers you as a bride. It is a very beautiful picture of you. I was such a dummy before my wedding - just did it all myself, no make up , no glamour. Now I have no picture like that to look back on where everyone goes "wow"!
Just like you and your mom think of each other frozen in time, I think of my sister eternally as 15. She's 45.
This is a favorite.
And to you.
(And you are just as lovely now, so tell her to knock it off.) :)
Hugs to you and your mom on Mothers Day!
btw: She would use that first quote all the time with different destination points -
"“I bet if I kept driving after I dropped you off, I could make it to Kansas City by the time you got out of school.”
“I bet if I kept driving after I dropped you off, I could make it to Miami by the time you got out of school.”
Happy Mother's Day to you, too!
And that photo of you on your wedding day. Wow.
Does Benkitty know how lucky he is? I mean he has a mom AND a grandma who are awesome. That's a lot of awesome.
Happy Mother's Day to you, Deven, and to your mom and all the ladies in the movie club. Moo.
your sense of humor. Happy Mother's Day and tell Freaky that every day is Freaky Day.
Rated
Happy moms day to you both!
I woke up this morning thinking about my mom (she died 3 years ago) so this hit close to home for me. She was pretty funny sometimes, too, and often got those pithy old sayings mixed up: She was going to "turn into a new leaf" or something she said had gone "in one ear and gone tomorrow." But sometimes, when I'd done something good (rarely) or my sibs had done something stupid (frequently) she'd say, "Sometimes I wish I'd stopped when I had you." (I used to dream about being an only child!)
So thanks for this. May I join the others in wishing you and Mom a wonderful Mom's Day!
Oh - definitely words to live by!!! Happy Mother's Day to you and your mom - hugs!
We have kindof have the same mom...mine is coming to visit in two weeks to celebrate her 80th birthday. I have not seen her for almost three years. Even on the over-the-top "mom" days, you can count your blessings...Happy Mother's Day!
I so love each and every one of these quotes. It's a good thing your ma never developed the urge for tact - we would have totally missed out on all this great, blunt, over-the-top funny stuff.