Deven McKay

Deven McKay
Location
Seattle, Washington,
Birthday
July 01
Bio
It's been two years since I had widowhood thrust upon me. Now I've decided I'm going to thrust back. TAKE THAT CANCER!

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JULY 10, 2009 7:07PM

The Devenverse

Rate: 57 Flag

I admit it, I'm bored.  But I'm also lazy.  Bored and lazy is a hard combo to overcome.

I whipped out my list of topics, Mom notes, kid notes, woodpecker hate manifesto notes, with every intention of writing something.  Then I realized that would involved a lot of movement, what with the tapping of keys and all.  

I've resorted to recycling some old pictures of mine (they're not cardboard and don't require me to find the box cutter.  I have no idea where the box cutter is.  I'm not really certain if we own one.  I usually just leave our cardboard out for a couple of days to be rained on, and then tear it apart in a fit of rage and stuff in the recycler.  It's good for stress relief.  Frightens the woodpeckers, so it's a win/win.  

I lost my train of thought.  Oh yeah, I was in a parenthetical statement.  Here, let me finish that up. )

So here are a few of my favorite pictures from a world I like to call THE DEVENVERSE (because I'm an ass):

 

If you can really amazing your friends with magic performed on the DS..

Really?  You're going to amaze your friends with "magic" you perform on your handheld electronic gaming device? I guess that might work if you bring your DS to Three4One Jello Shot night.  Of course your Nintendo would end up all sticky, then smashed as drunks try to pry a tiny Chriss Angel out of the back so they can pummel him.

 

 

Please kill me

This is just sad on a lot of levels.  Not the least of which is the fact that I wish real poodles looked like this.

 

 

It's Russell Stover bitch

It's Russell Stover BITCH

 

 

 

If you're really lucky..

I'm not certain what POCORN is, but it sounds really sad.  "Daddy, do we have any more of that pocorn?"  "No, little one, the pocorn be all gone 'til summah."

 

 

I sat there for half an hour. THEY LIED.

I sat there for a half hour.  They flat out lied.

 

 

Mr. Bill is EVERYWHERE

In case you wondered why Vista was all screwed up.

 

The Militant Feminist Special

The Militant Feminist Special

 

 

 

 

Think of the time you'll now have on your hands

If you have a cat that is so demanding that its need for entertainment is eating up hours of your day, I'm thinking you shouldn't be allowed to be around a laser.

 

 

Let's Play!

"Now let's go out there and have some fun!"

 

 

 

BenKitty and I got fortune cookies.ÒÂÃÒÂÒà Daniel got a therapy cookie

Therapy Cookie

 

 

 

good advice

This is good advice to carry throughout your life.

 

 

 

I would think that would get messy

One, that play area is going to get messy.  Two, what's that guy in the overcoat with the camera doing?

 

 

 

Well helloooo

Well helloooo there.

 

 

 

Rats, I wanted both halves

I wanted both halves.

 

 

This looks a little wrong

Ah.. ah.. no.

 

 

 

I don't know this person, but I hate them

I don't know this person, but it's almost assured I wouldn't like them.

 

 

 

The NRA has won

The NRA has won.

 

 

 

Bowl movement

At a certain age, you appreciate a good bowl movement.

 

 

Okay, I've got more.  But it would be a shame not to end on a poop note.

I'm going to go take a nap now.  Don't tell the woodpeckers. 

 

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Comments

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Who knew Russell Stover went urban?
Okay, now I'm stunned I got first and I can't breathe.

(thumbified for today's only spit take... "the pocorn be all gone 'til summah." BWAH!)
OK, here's my fave, seriously:

It's Russell Stover BITCH

Christ, I remember when they were selling these in Eckerd's. And Hallmark greetings stores. LOL

Thanks for the laugh, fab friend!
Not sure if I'd want to clean up the mess from a 6-foot, 500 lb. pink poodle...

Very amusing!
I want a pet I can store stuff in.
I don't think anyone else here can make me laugh--actually laugh and not just think, oh, yeah, that's funny--as reliably as you can.

I feel like I need to stock up on the pocorn now before the first freeze.
I'll have the busted nut parfait, please. 'Cause today I'm in just that kind of mood.
Thanks for the fun!
I'd like a strand of bacteria to go with my bowl of movement.
So much for all my aspirations to stand on, sit on, and play on rice. I guess I'll go play with my Hello Titty.

I know a lot of people say you made coke spew out of their noses (which is really the wrong direction but I digress) but you, Lady D, made me spit on my dress right before going out. I would send you the cleaning bill if I wore things in need of dry cleaning anymore.
Gad, I just left a long, rambling comment on Kerry's blog. Now he's going to think I've been drinking instead of just too lazy to self edit before posting the comment.
At least it wasn't misspelled "poocorn".
Ha! Love the cross-paragraph parenthetical. And the sad pink mega-poodle, the therapeutic fortune cookie, the terrible two shooters . . . and pretty much everything else on here. Reminded me it’s been too many months since I’ve been over to visit engrish.com.

—Melissa
Is it just me or does the "fresh apple squeezins" couple need to get a room?
Russell Stover grew up 12 miles from where I grew up (and quite a long time before, but never mind that). For two years in high school, I went steady (ok, this was still a long time ago) with his grandson Robbie.

You cannot imagine how many times in my adult life I've wished I had married into the Stover family. Unlimited chocolate, free! And Robbie wasn't bad either.
It makes me wonder where you shop . . . or what I'm missing when I'm out and about - these are great!
Cindy, I did take these pictures. I have a collection I've been amassing over the last three years.
what the heck is urban chocolate??

are they pulling pieces out of the gutter? do they follow fancy little dogs around with a tin?
I'd stay away from that Dairy Queen.
Ah hate it when it's sticky. The pocorn won't bloom when it's sticky.

Well. And that sounded perverse.
My brother is responsible for the Dairy Queen sign. Teenagers need a hobby, and this was his. I think his number one achievement: the sign originally said, "We do birthday parties!" It only took one little edit and they were doing birthday panties.

Great laughs Deven.
I'm all about the Hello Titty. And are adult diapers allowed?
Thrm thar fresh apple squeezins is mighty fine if'n yore willing to wait a few days 'til they start in to fermentin'.
Just when I was getting ready to have good time on some rice...
Yeah, it's late and I was just thinking it was time to leave here and go to sleep. Then I saw that you'd posted so I had to come over here to read. Now I'm wide awake because I've been laughing! So thanks, Deven. Now I'll be up all night! Seriously, though, these signs are so funny! I especially like the E. coli sign. There are so many misspellings I have to wonder where it was posted. Please tell me you didn't find it in a school! Please! I'm an excellent proofreader so misspellings jump off the page (or screen) at me. Rather disconcerting sometimes. But I almost nevr mspell anything! Rated for making me laugh and keeping me up all night! D
That picture was taken in a barn at the Oregon State Fair. It was a FFA exhibit. I have more pictures of that exhibit - oh my, yes, many more.
Photos without captions? Useless. (not really, I'm trying to make a point here)

Photos with captions? PRICELESS!!!
These are wonderful!! Thanks for making me spit coffee more than once this morning!
I was just thinking that "Hello Titty" was a phrase that served me well up to now.

Now if I say it, I just seem creepy. And there are already enough creepy old guys out there in trench coats with cameras.......
*snort*

esp for: "No, little one, the pocorn be all gone 'til summah."
They say inflation is under control, but, damn, $249 for a busted nut parfait? How many does it feed? Making that picture even more frightening was the price of gasoline in the background. Those were the days....

Rated for insightful photojournalism.
Loved that Deliverance brand apple juice. Bet that apple squealed like a pig while he squeezed it.
That pink poodle? I think I know where the Pocorn went.

$249.00 for a busted nut parfait? Jeez, you CHARGE the poor guy, too? It's enough to put one off ice cream for good. =o) The sign over that place should read "Raging Hormonal Militant Feminist Dairy Queen."

I don't imagine they get much bowl movement there, no matter how well they wash their hands.

Still, I'm sobered. I'm really going to have to rethink my whole relationship with rice.

Thanks for a great laugh! Several, in fact.
Rated.
Very funny! A little perverse, but very funny!
Rated for pocorn! I can't stop spurting laughter spits
At Wagner's Barber Shop and Guns in my hometown, the sign reads Haircuts $8, Guns Slightly More.

I have a picture of a marquee from a video rental place in Martin County, Kentucky (waaaaaaaaay out in the Appalachians) that reads, in its entirety:

Videos $2
XXX Videos $3
Hot Taning Beds
God Bless America
What exactly is thata poodle thing?! My best sign photo is advertising "Hick Days" at the local farm store...it was supposed to say "chick days", but to be honest, hick is probably more realistic.
laughing, fit to bust a nut. er, gut
You are the queen of my verse, Deven.
Those are all AWESOME.

And I think I know someone that 2MUCH4U might like:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/embeedub/2961038519/in/set-72157604735928028/
Love the last one.
The pocorn thing speaks to me the loudest. As a child, I often went to bed hungry, and we rarely had enough consonants to finish our semi-literate cardboard yard signs.
I passed a sign (you know the rolling ones with the stick on letters) out in front of a small town gas station that announced (no lie) the following:

KKK carwash and bakesale
Sat. 9 - 2

I, alas, had no camera.

Love the pics and your humor. Keep 'em coming.
Oh, and just sos ya know...I liked your photos soooo much that I am actually gonna click on that google ad at the bottom about getting rid of pesky woodpeckers. I actually like woodpeckers but I thought you deserved something special for your photos. You're welcome.
I clicked ALL your ads! Even the Air France one! Expect a HUGE check from the Adsense folks! Hey, everyone! Click ALL Deven's ads! I mean, we aren't allowed to click our own so why not Deven's? Who deserves it more I ask? WHO? Or is it WHOM?
Click people! Click! Make Deven stinking rich!

Sorry, I do get carried away when I have a brilliant idea.
OMG one of your ads is for a survey to see if I'm a good mom or just a so-so one! I'll be right back and let you know.
Dang it! It's gone and replaced by a navymoms. com ad! Booger! Now I'll NEVER know.
You are so funny! The captions are the best part... "the pocorn be all gone 'til summah." conjured up the soft-focus b&w movie complete with sad string music and a close-up on the po li'l chile.
i think i really started losing it with the pocorn, but then i got the hernia somewhere between hello titty and apple squeezins and now there's a huge mess to clean up in here.

but i still love you.
I was in a really bad mood when I came here and now you've gone and made me laugh!
In case no one has said it, these are totally coffee table book-worthy shots. I'd so buy this!!!