"Well meh.  I enjoyed the music here, but not much else.  You didn't seem like you enjoyed it much either."

"Why do you say that?"

"Mom, during the preaching you spent fifteen minutes trying to quietly open a cough drop.  Then you folded your bulletin into a crane.  Then you spent the rest of the time making faces at the little kid sitting in front of us."

"He started it.  Besides, I was paying attention to the preacher."

"Really?  What was the sermon about?"

"............... God?"

"::snort:: Maybe we just caught this preacher on a bad day.  Should I put this church on the revisit list?"

"Yes.  I'll revisit any church that doesn't take away my walker."

"I sort of liked the church from last week."

"I didn't.  Back in my day making a joyful noise unto the Lord didn't require a five piece drum set and bongos."

"There were no bongos."

"There might have been.  Who knows what was going on during that racket.  I miss singing the old songs, you know, the hymns you can sing without a tambourine."

"I should call around and see if someone conducts a 1958 service.  What about the church from a couple of weeks ago, the little one?  They had real hymnals."

"Half of the congregation stared at us the whole time."

"That was a little creepy."

"And not to sound unChristian, but I don't think I could get past the preacher's lisp."

"heheheheee, I wasn't going to bring that up."

" 'Turn yourth Bithles to Matthewth twentytooth, thirty seventh.'  I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was hoping the sermon would include something about a puddytat."

"hehehheheee.  You're so going to hell for that one Mom."

"I liked that church that really looked like a church outside, but I don't know about the preacher there."

"He was really young, but that could be a good thing."

"He had on ripped jeans."

"That's true."

"His hair looked like the boy's in Twilight."

"That's true."

"His shirt was untucked."

"That's true too."

"There were wings on the back of his shirt."

"Okay, maybe he was a tad too young for us."

"What did you think about the really huge church we went to?  He was a good preacher.  I'm willing to overlook the seat cupholders in the auditorium."

"eh.... Now's my time to be unreasonable.  I'm having trouble getting past the lighting and fog machine and the repeated projections to live Twitter about the service."

"Twitter?  What's that?"

"Remember you were bugging me about that a couple of weeks ago.  It's that thing where you leave short messages on an online bulletin board for your friends."

"Ohhhh, like Miley had.  I heard about that on TMZ.  How were people going to do that during the service?  I didn't see any computers around."

"You can do it from your phone."

"You told me that you couldn't do that from the phone."

"No, I told you that you couldn't do that from your phone."

"Well just why not?"

"Because for the last four years every time you get a text message you call me from your landline to tell me your travel phone is fixing to blow up."

"I want to Twit."

"ugh.  Okay, I'll set aside some time to come over and see if we can set you up something.  Better yet, I'll have Ben come over and see if he can set you up."

"Ohhh, wait until he does something wrong and you can ground him to do it."

"A ha!  You're so smart!  I've been thinking we should try my friend Kelly's church next."

"Where is that?"

"It's that Lutheran church that's not far from Fred Meyer."

"I heard that Lutherans move around a lot during their service."

"I don't think they move any more than anyone else."

"I can't move around a lot.  I'm also not going to eat pickled fish."

"I don't think their services include the eating of pickled fish on a regular basis."

"Still, you need to tell someone that I'm not going to move around a lot or eat fish during the service."

"Okay, I'll have Kelly tell the preacher that you're not participating in the herring line dance portion of the service."

"That's fine.  I'll go then."

"I'll go as long as the service doesn't include a Jesus Laser Light Show."

"......"

"What?"

"I might want to go to the Jesus Laser Light Show."

[I'm going to help set up a computer in the activity room at Mom's apartment.  My original intention was to help everyone there retrieve emailed pictures.  Some of the ladies there are pretty good with the online thing, but are intimidated by trying to move picture files to jump drives to print.  I'll see if it's feasible to set the ladies up Twitter accounts.  That might be a hoot - or horrible - or a horrible hoot.  I'll let you know.]