"So they had someone named Julie from that huge church call me."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I told Julie what I thought all right! I told her that I never felt so unwelcomed in a church before. That they needed to be less worried about my walker staying behind a pole and more worried that those fancy lights they use during the singing are going to give someone a seizure, and if they're so worried about the safety of their parishioners that they should tell everybody to quit whacking people in the head that remain seated during the singing. And I told her that having six different varieties of coffees available in the lobby is really show-offy. And that their bulletins are a weird shape that won't fit in a regular sized Bible, not that it would probably matter to her since I'm sure she's never seen a real Bible before. And that their parking lot doesn't take into consideration that there might be more than one person at a time that needed to use their walk-up ramp thingie, not that I really expect them to care about that since all they seem to worry about is if the Twilight crowd is constantly amused. And she asked me about the welcome packet they sent me. I told her I mailed it to my niece so she could see just how stupid their church is. Then I slammed down the phone."
"Uh huh. You didn't say anything of that."
"No. But I thought it!"
Mom says: "Happy Halloween, and I'll see you in Hell!"
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Tom King
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Beth Mann
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Comments
and she looks very frightening in those horns.
i was really impressed and amazed and shocked that she said all that. what is it like to have a mom who is so universally loved?
As far as ePriddy's question: there are those seeds that won't germinate until AFTER the forest fire...
you know, I was sure she really said all this. That's how much faith I have in your mom. Maybe she should run for God. she might get elected.
I have some vacation pix that show part of me eerily reflected in some holy relics. So I guess I'm God and Deven's, well, the devil, of course.
Happy Halloween back at her. I hope her rain hats keep those horns dry. =o)
:)
God, I love your mom.
Take her to the Crystal Palace. I'd love to see her lock horns with them.
Definitely your mom.
*Scrolls down fast so Betty can't see him through the monitor*
Rated
Happy Halloween!
Last year was a Tuba.
Horns are great joys.
Past years the Mennonite bishop judged the First Halloween belching contest with Open Salon's new editor,
and sad to say:`
No one made E.P.
The congregation search committee could not find a word that does rhymes with:`
horny. horns?
wear cabbage?
cabbage horns?
Pinhead Cabbage Horns!
It's a private silly thought!
A White House chef, Sam?
tease:`
We grow a pointed heirloom.
The chef can't take any bribes.
Sam refused free cabbage horns.
Cabbage on a noggin looks like horns. The heirloom cabbage variety really does have a pointed head, and the cabbage can be glued to the head, and resemble two horns. Cabbage head for Halloween night?
It was a silly discussion at the White House farmer market. Pumpkin heads look better?
First, I thought those horns on your Mother's head were heirloom pinhead cabbages.
I best go a ::conks::
silly. But, the White House chef is likable. Pinhead pointed cabbage, glued to the W.H. chef:`
silly?
or,
goofy?
yea,
Ya Mother made me a- snicker!
Ya had to be there? Yikes chef!
Sam chef put 2- cabbage heads?
Yes.
on his head, and he is very dignified.
Ya Mom is fun as a White House cook!
Those 2- pointed cabbages on Sam's head ( a White House shaved head) looked like bull cabbage horns on her head. huh? Ah! huh?
apologies? I should never turn on the computer after a day @ DC's farmer market. I'll enter the annual Mennonite apple, and the community celebration of the Halloweens belch contest? Yes.
And, definitely,
I'll place two pointed heirloom cabbages on my head. Savoy cabbages are great!
Wrinkled, crinkled,
and really:`delicious.
Your Mother no needs?
No need to wear a yarmulke.
Tell her:`Happy Halloweens.
gads.
the popping-off comments,
Yesterday?
I agree with Aunt Marbel.
Aut Marbel can say 4- X's.
A 4-th time would be fine.
Ya say that one more time.
Say again? She's like Mom.
She'sd be as much fun as getting bumped from behind and Surprised by a furry horn bison. Bison run 35 mph and they can jump 6- feet high. I was told that. If Ya's were Surprised-bumped?
I think Ya's dear Mother's bump would make someone hop skyward high?
Moon!