blurry, because I was afraid he'd wake up and cough at me
GO TEAzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Let me start off by saying that I know next to nothing about football. That is something I'm rather proud of considering that I grew up in Dallas.
We're currently in Gulfport, Miss. after spending a few days coughing all over family in New Orleans. The plan was to try to connect with a few old radio people while we were here and hit a good ol' it will kill you seventeen sticks of butter dinner. That didn't happen. Daniel has the 'flu. I'm well on my way.
7:39 - the football song is really loud. I know the Saints are playing some team with birds on their helmets.
7:40 - oh, they're Falcons. They just kicked something. I think a flea bit me. The plaster on the wall here is cracked in a most interesting way. Sort of looks like Spuds McKenzie.
7:44 - my cell dinged. I don't have a signal in the room. It's just taunting me. I can walk out to the pool area and stand with the creepy man standing in his boxers eating limes and get a signal. I don't think I want to text anyone that desperately. Wait, I'm suppose to be paying attention the the game. Why do all the players have weird little goatees? Some one is getting ready to throw the ball. There goes another flea across the tv screen. GO FLEAS! I mean TEAM!
7:46 - uh oh. The birds scored. I think. Coughing fit.
-commerical-
Lookit this:
These people were on the air when we lived here in 1477. Now y'all know I'm all for seniors doing whatever they do until they don't want to do no more, but really, it's like grandma and grandpa are reading you the news. It's not even called "the news," it's "The Four O'Clock Show."
7:50 - the people upstairs used the toilet. The lime man just threw a lime on the roof of the pool cabana.
7:52 - are The Saints wearing leggings? I think I'm suppose to be tense right now. They threw the ball and someone caught it. Now they're showing more head shots with weird little football goatees.
7:55 - snoring has intensified. BIG WHISTLE HEADS! I wonder if I double took DayQuil.
7:57 - TOUCHDOWN! And the fleas go wild. My hair hurts.
we've spent a great deal of time shopping for cough meds
8:02 - still commercialing. I'm not sure if the world needed a remake of "V". Should you want to become a lizard yourself, here's one method:
don't not try this at home
8:05 - Forgot I was suppose to be paying attention. Should you wonder how I would blog about a soccer match, it would read, "some guys ran this way, some guys ran that way."
8:07 - lot of guys in a big ass pile. I wonder how many of them would be big ol' whiney, "I wanted raspberry tea!", "Do we have the tissue with the lotion?", "My mom used to make me matzo ball soup when I was sick.", babies if they have the sniffles.
8:09 - I will not be watching Bears v. 49s. I would watch Bears v. Paula Deen.
8:12 - I want little flags to throw around when I think someone has done something wrong. I'd need at least 15 for my trip to Starbucks.
8:15 - I swear they just said "Sex specialist from Montana." Now someone is getting blitzed. I wonder if they're pouring Robitussin on top of something.
8:17 - I somehow missed a whole touchdown. The snoring has intensified, with sort of whimpering interspersed. Oh, the whimpering might be from me.
8:24 - A Christmas movie is opening?! And a remake of "A Christmas Carol" at that. Sometimes I miss having a little kid around, sometimes I don't.
please to enjoy my current reality
8:28 - I've completely lost the plot, but someone just made a touchdown.
8:31 - I think one of the players was texting. I wonder if he was Twittering. "I play ball good." Okay, that was stereotyping. I'll feel bad when one of The Saints calls me to ask how my Monday night went.
8:35 - Okay, they didn't just show this commercial, but watching football made me think of it - I can't be the only one that is bugged to the cotton at that stupid hair blowy Alyssa Milano commercial. OH NO, the guys in white ran a long way!
8:41 - the little run around camera angle thing is both cool and sickening. I just felt Daniel's head. I think he has a temp. I wonder if I can dribble Nyquil in his mouth. He does have it bad.
8:44 - Daniel's on the move. Gonna trap him and force meds in his mouth.
8:49 - He took his pills and I didn't even have to hold his mouth closed. I took some too. I think we both have fever. Some Falcon guy jumped up like a giant kitty and caught an interception.
It looked like this:
That's my friend, Malingering's cat. She has an awesome blog and flickr stream.
8:59 - Something happened while I was looking for the photo. Something to do with the football.
9:02 - they should use that hovering camera for the whole game just to see how many people throw up watching at home.
9:04 - that running Falcon guy is tiny, tiny. Though he appears to have moobage. Oh, just found out that my brother-in-law did the pyro for the game. The paid for pyro. He's not the guy in the bad seats shooting off firecrackers.
9:06 - INTERCEPTION TOUCHDOWN! I noticed because it caused Daniel to have a coughing fit.
9:07 - I think the announcer said that someone got "weeds in the knob."
9:12 - Daniel is coughing up a lung. It's 2nd and 6. I know that because they flashed it up on the screen. I want to be able to stop the clock for 10 seconds when I need to.
9:29 - wandered to the parking lot to look at Krispy Kreme. The light was on:
9:32 - I should leave to check the Krispy Kreme light more often, it brought The Saints good luck. There was a guy in the lobby asking if they had "personal devices."
9:36 - Did I miss half-time? Do they even do anything on tv for half-time? Or is it all just jabbering about rushes and such?
9:38 - Okay, I'm really going to straighten up and try to pay attention. Rats, I paid attention at the wrong time. 68 yard touchdown.
9:40 - Hardee's is advertising some cheeseburger that will kill you dead.
9:42 - 1st down and 38. Sounds like I have a clue. I don't. First down for me would be a hot Krispy Kreme, 38 would be the number I could consume before I blew up.
9:44 - I love my hearing loss, it makes things so much more interesting than they really are. I'm fairly certain they said that St. Nick was playing for The Saints. I'm not sure if it's fair that one side has Santa. Maybe the Falcons could have the Easter Bunny.
9:49 - the ball didn't go through the football sticks. Bummer.
9:52 - Daniel's all sweaty and cold. I just took his glasses off. What's with all the MySpace pics of the players?
9:57 - It looks like the Falcon's coach has one of those "Football for Dummies" laminated cheat cards.
10:00 - how do people watch a game all the way through? It's exhausting. The thower's little towel makes him look like he has on a diaper (sure I know it's the quarterback, but really "the thrower" is more descriptive).
10:04 - For some reason I have "Inagodadavida," or as I call it "I'm the God of Velvetta" running through my head. Daniel's up and miserable. The Falcons are still running around with the ball. Now I want to blacken my eyes and go to Krispy Kreme.
10:09 - "Avenge a loss"? You're paid twelvedebillion dollars to play a game. Suck it up.
10:11 - Score: Saints - 28 Falcons 21. But looks like Falcons might push the ball through. I bet not a one of these boys could drive an ice road truck.
10:14 - Oh dear. Touchdown Falcons. Today while shopping for cough syrup at Walmart, I noticed they had Saints shirts for $30. People were sort of shoving each other to get one. And this is in Mississippi.
10:17 - oh, they said no... maybe. Yeah, no. The crowd goes wild!
10:19 - If I played football, I wouldn't braid my hair like I was on a Jamica Fun Dayz Cruise. I'd be afraid that someone would pull those braids plumb off. (When I get sick, I get more Southern.)
10:22 - I will not be watching the Steelers vs. Broncos. I will watch Broncos vs. Rachel Ray.
10:24 - They're saying the ball came out. Dang.
10:27 - They're out of challenges. I didn't even know they had challenges. I don't think I've watched a football game since 93. Uh oh! The Falcons are all charged up and just dragging guys behind them down the field.
10:30 - Interception! The people in the stands are probably peeing themselves. Well, it's the 4th quarter in The Dome, they were probably already going to pee themselves.
10:33 - I've been watching this forever. At least five flea bites. Someone caught a ball. The cheerleaders are twelve years old.
10:35 - He caught the ball! I'll find another cat picture.
Go check out this a photo set, it's fantastic!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/malingering/sets/1785520/
10:42 - THEY SCORED! With this sort of twisty jump thingie! Falcons - 24, Saints 35.
10:45 - the Saints have special cod pieces? heheheheheee. Daniel is up and at the computer. HE LIVES!
10:47 - Let's see how long this 2:29 seconds can last.
10:49 - it would have been great to have a challenge during staff meetings. I will not be going to see "Ninja Assassin" unless Mom wants to.
10:51 - is it? Isn't it? Fumble? Holding? Geaux Saints... tick tick... dang, nope.
10:54: Being able to knock people out of bounds would be helpful during staff meetings too.
10:57 - Someone is spewing.
10:58 - 1:37 left. It takes me 1:37 to get my right shoe on and tied.
11:00 - Fumble? I need someone doing an idiot translation for me in the corner of the screen. I don't know if it's a fumble or not.
11:03 - this minute and change has morphed into almost fifteen minutes. Just like dentist time.
11:05 - I have an almost irrestible urge to change the channel just to hear Daniel scream.
11:07 - all the coaches look like they should be on "The Sopranos."
11:08 - Daniel is putting his pants back on in anticipation of the game ending. Y'all should do the same.
11:09 - :37 -I'm sure the Falcons can score a field goal and a touchdown in that time.
11:10 - I'm sure at any second someone will comment when that did happen. Like I have a clue. The birds got the ball through the football sticks. Falcons 27, Saints 35.
11:11 - "They're gonna have to come in and try to blow it up..." If I knew that there was a possiblity that people would blow up, I would have been watching football all this time.
11:13 - FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!! Big pile of players.
11:14 - okay, if they get a touchdown, I'll plotz.
11:15 - INTERCEPTION!!! The catchy guy is wiggling his butt like he's on "Toddlers and Tiaras."
IT'S OVER!!! YAY!!
Thanks all y'all for keeping me company. I really mean that. It would have been a terrible night without you.
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Tom King
Mature Student
Beth Mann
Linda Seccaspina
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Comments
I also know next-to-nothing about football despite growing up in Nebraska and I'm also rather proud of it.
'Cuz I'm at work with nothing going on yet and no TV...
"Go Fleas"... LOL
As for the fleas ... well ... maybe you can befriend some of them and they can bring you your medicine and drinks? Yeah, probably not.
Feel better soon.
I'm afraid I can't get myself away from Stormchasers on On Demand right now. Games will have to wait until whats-his-name in that stupid tricked out car thingy gets his shot of the tornado.
It's possible that I'm over medicated.
The fleas will start doing the wave at midnight. That's when it's time to head out for more meds.
Your fleas
and piggy flu.
Wow
Y'all can make your way up here and I'll take care of you!
And the video was AWESOME!!!
The Saints are the most exciting team in football.
Thanks D for promoting TRIG!
Feel better. Your mom is going to need you for more church shopping :)
That cat looks exactly like He Who Is Handsome only somewhat less ... fluffy.
I cannot stop giggling about the news announcers. I think it's her perky expression. Well that and the 1477 remark.
you make me giggle Deven, Thank you
Falcons - 21, Saints - some number that's higher.
That sounds like my brother. He is six feet tall, the jerk, and he could eat an entire Mcdonald's meal, including Big Mac, fries, apple pie, and Dr. Pepper. He would put that away after picking me up from school, and then he would eat a full dinner when he got home. And he was thin. Of course.
I've never been a doughnut fan, but I must admit if you stuck eclairs in my face I could probably put away 5 or so before getting sick.
Yeah, this kid was rail thin.
You mentioned WWOZ... check out the Tulane station 91.something.
Great job with the live blog.
Get well!
You better not nuke this -- it's hilarious.
Aw, in all seriousness, I'm worried for you both. Get home safely and then rest, damn it.
And I, too, would love to have flags to carry around and throw at people.
As I type this, my husband is watching some game with red and white guys vs. black and yellow guys. The tv says ATL vs NO. Yes vs. No would make much more sense. At least then I would know who to root for... except my husband just told me he's rooting for NO instead of yes.
Feel better soon!
Oh, and it looks like it's over. Maybe now we can go to bed.
Feel better soon! And I hope the rest of the family does as well.
Saints Rock
Falcons have odeur of sweaty sock
On the positive side, you're inoculated and won't get the swine flu again.
"8:12 - I want little flags to throw around when I think someone has done something wrong. I'd need at least 15 for my trip to Starbucks. "
I think we have a winning entrepreneurial idea here, even during a recession. Or especially during one.
Take care of each other - we have flu at my house today, too, and it sucks.
It's the news anchors, I know it. heh
And yay Zumi!
I don't remember which one it was though.
Hope you feel better and get home safe
I am cranking up "I'm the god of Velveeta" louder than you can imagine.
I got some kind of crud on Sunday and it is still hovering around me like a hungry buzzard. Think I have a fever but afraid to check it. I would not feel better if I found out I do. It seems to have leveled out into eyes, ears, nose and throat and upper respiratory area. That is enough. I really don't want in in my toes.
Very funny stuff. Your post. NOT you being sick.
Monte
Now I want Krispy Kremes and matzo ball soup. Not in the same bowl, please.
You're right about "The Four O'Clock Show." I was trying to figure out that connection. I was blurry about it because I wasn't in control of the remote.
I'm sorry you're sick. But... this post was hilarious! Especially the entry above. I find American football a snore of epic proportions. But if I watched it with your voice and no other audio, I could almost start liking it.
Feel better, both of you.
Rated
I loved your take on the football game. I lack capacity to pay attention. They just keep doing and saying the same things over and over, with exaggerated enthusiasm for doing and saying the same things over an over. ZZZZzzzzzzz