"Momma, c'mon, times a'wasting.  Grab yer shoppin' bags."

"......"

"We best git outta here before the rain commences."

"....."

"I don't know why you're standin' there lookin' at me like I was a singing bull, but let's git going."

"Why are you talking like that?"

"Talkin' like what Momma?"

"Normal.  You haven't talked normal in years."

"I don't know what you're going on about.  Now git your rain bonnet and let's git a'going.  Don't forget your coupons on the icebox."

"::gasp:: You snuck off to Texas last weekend."

"I done no such thing!"

"You did!  I should have suspected something.  Every time I called last weekend Ben told me you couldn't come to the phone because you were in the laundry room.  Like you'd spend that much time in the laundry room."

"Momma, I promise you we did not sneak off to Texas for a visit.  Now let's git this rodeo started."

".....you went somewhere where people talk normal.  I just know it."

"Quit fussin' about it Momma.  You need to lick your calf over again, stuff is hanging out of your walker basket."

"That's it!  You went somewhere.  Just confess!"

"Now Momma..."

"grrrrrrrrrowwwwwwwwwllll..."

"Now don't start that...."

"grrrrrrrrrrooooowwwwwwwwllll..."

"Okay, okay, just hush up with that.  We went to see Daniel's brother."

"You had to have gone somewhere else too.  They don't talk normal in New Orleans.  I think it's because everyone is kind of tipsy or eating."

"We visited Biloxi for a couple of days..."

"That's it!  Now why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you're a big ol' worry wart about stuff."

"I'm a mother.  It's my God given right to worry."

"I just didn't see the point in making you fret..."

"::snort:: You didn't want me bugging you, is what it is."

"Well that too.  There's something plumb depressing about starting off each day with a phone call from you asking if we're dead yet."

"I could have been a comfort to Ben while y'all were gone..."

"Momma, it's not a comfort for you to call and ask Ben if he's managed to catch himself  a'fire."

"You should have still told me!  Shame on you!  Shame on you for being sneaky snake!"

"Now you know I didn't mean no disrespect.  I just didn't want us all to go through worry."

"Well y'all better not do that again or I'll whop you upside your silly head."

"Sorry Momma.  Now you're a'talkin' normal too.  Let's get gone."

"No.  Let's not waste this.  Let's find Thelma while we're jabbering all normal and tell her how the cow ate the cabbage."

"Our accents will push that woman right to the ditch edge."

"Yes.  Bless her heart."

"teeheheheheheheheeee...."

"teehheheheheheeee...."