[This is a meta post. For more information about what's going on CLICK HERE. For future reference, my blog will never be where to find out what's going on.]
"Hello this is your daughter."
"Hello this is your mother."
"...okay, I'll go first. Why you calling Mom?"
"I'm calling you back! I was waiting for you to tell me why."
"Oh, oh, I forgot. I was calling to see if you wanted to write something for the diary people. They have a project going."
"What is it?"
"It's about metals. What's your favorite metal?"
"I bet you think I don't have one, but I do."
"Actually I'm surprised you had an answer that quick."
"Yes. It was when I was nine years old. There was this hopscotch tournament and I was pitted against Mary Margaret McMillstern, we called her Mary Margaret Milktoast behind her back. She thought she was so special because they owned a prewar Plymouth and her mother let her wear her Sunday shoes to school. It was those shoes that got her in trouble with the contest..."
"... wait, wait, Mom I said metal, not medal. Metal, with a T."
"Oh. I was talking about the cute little medal I won. I wish I still had it but I donated it to the war foil drive. I guess that could be considered metal too. Why in the world would the diary people be writing about metal?"
"It's just a creative writing exercise."
"Write about metal? That's an exercise? Why not write about your favorite flower?"
"I'm supposing because she didn't want to plow through a bunch of mess that started off 'My love is like a red, red rose.'"
"That's lovely, you should finish writing that."
"I think someone already did back in the 1700s. Besides, mine would read 'My love is like a red, red rose. Until I realized it was just a bloody nose.'"
"That's my daughter, always the romantic. Who is this she that's asking for the writing?"
"The Cat Woman. You like her. She's the one that did that post about the cabin."
"Oh yes, the one about the skeptic tank. Wait, isn't she the lady that writes that Canadian car column for a living?"
"Oh Deven, you're so naive. No wonder she's asking for people to write about metal. She's bound to be working for Canada Steel. She's hoping everyone will write about steel."
"Mom, she doesn't work for Canada Steel."
"::sigh:: Really, get with it Deven. That's how things are done these days. All sneaky. I bet she's about to announce a new line of Canadian cars."
"Really, Mom, that's not what this is about..."
"You don't know that for sure."
"I'm pretty sure I know that for sure."
"...::tsk:: So naive. I wonder what the cars are going to be? What side of the road do Canadians drive on?"
"The same side of the road we do."
"I wonder if the Canadian cars are going to be available in automatic drive? I could never drive a manual one. Did I ever tell you about the time your daddy tried to teach me to drive a manual?"
"No...oh wait, I think you did. It didn't end well, did it?"
"No, not at all. He took my picture out of his wallet and threw it out of the window."
"HA! I bet you didn't like that."
"No, I was in tears. When he got out to pick up it, I tried to run over him."
"Oh pffftttt... don't worry, I couldn't get it in gear. The car just died. I wonder what the Canadian cars are going to be like. I have a couple of ideas you can pass along to the cat woman."
"I like the idea of a working car that you could haul stuff in and put a topper on so you could go camping. Maybe make it one of those cars you can drive off the road. They could call it The Beaver."
"Ah...I see a marketing problem Mom."
"Oh, nothing, nothing."
"When you say 'nothing, nothing' that means it's about sex. What would be the problem with The Beaver?"
"It's a working car named after their national animal. Oh wait, is the moose their national animal? Anyway I know that Canadians like beavers, so why not call a car The Beaver? ...Ohhhhh, wait, I get it. I forgot that was the slang word for a lady's tuffet. Shoot. I'll have to think of something else."
"Yes. That's where Miss Muffet sat. On her lady tuffet."
"Only if she was double jointed."
"How about a car called The Frenchie? It could be a car that wants to keep driving out of Canada."
"Or The Queen. A cute little car that's not really good for much but you could drive it to special events. Wait, don't tell her that, she might get arrested for treason."
"I think that Canadians can poke gentle fun at the Queen."
"She shouldn't risk it. The cat woman must be struggling if she's taking a sneaky job with Canada Steel. She shouldn't court trouble."
"So do you want to write a metal post then?"
"Didn't we just do that?"
"Yes. You can title it 'My Favorite Metal Is Canadian Steel.' That way maybe the cat woman will get a bonus."
"Okay, consider it done."
- Seattle, Washington,
- July 01
- I've changed a lot in the last five years, some good, some bad, some things are just different. I'm trying to find a way back to me, but I'm pretty sure that my GPS has dementia.
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