Deven McKay

Deven McKay
Location
Seattle, Washington,
Birthday
July 01
Bio
I've changed a lot in the last five years, some good, some bad, some things are just different. I'm trying to find a way back to me, but I'm pretty sure that my GPS has dementia.

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FEBRUARY 8, 2010 9:29AM

Movie Club: Dirty Harry (spoiler: Harry is not a dog)

Rate: 45 Flag

[The Unofficial Lakeside Retirement Home Movie Club was formed to serve the needs of serious senior citizen film buffs. Since none showed up, Mom and her friends took over, seizing control of both my blog and Netflix queue.  This is one in their growing list of...ah...reviews.]

Dirty Harry

Mom:  ::hurumph::

Me:  "Why you pouting Mom?"

Mom:  ::sigh::

Louise:  "It's my fault Deven."

Mom:  "I'm fine."  ::sigh::

Me:  "I grew up with that 'I'm fine.'  You're not fine."

Mom:  "I am too."

Me:  "Miss Louise, what happened."

Louise:  "I picked the movie this week.  Betty was in charge of directing the flyer.  She got a bit confused."

Mom:  "I was not confused.  You were confused when you told me."

Louise:  "I didn't realize there was a mix up until I saw the flyer in the elevator yesterday."

Mom:  "Now I look like a fool."

Louise:  "Now Betty, you do not.   It was a mistake anyone could have made."

Mom:  "You should have realized something was wrong when I told you that was Deven's favorite story when she was a child."

Louise:  "I might have if Deven wasn't such an unusual girl.  I could see how Dirty Harry might have been her favorite story as a kid."

Me:  "Are you talking about Harry the Dirty Dog?  I did love that book."

Mom:  "Hmmmm.  So if you really think about it, it's Deven's fault.  Deven you shouldn't be so weird."

Me:  "Nature or nurture, I don't see how you're going to completely escape culpability on this one."

Mom:  "pffffttt.... nature, nurture, another made up PBS thing.  Thank you Louise, I feel better."

****

Tansy:  "Wow.  Shooting right off the bat.  This is going to be good."

Louise:  "Look how young he looks, not at all like he looks on the salad dressing."

Me:  "I think you're thinking of Paul Newman."

Tansy:  "I think about Paul Newman all the time."

Thelma:  "He's dead."

Tansy:  "Well I'm not."

Mom:  "Our mayor probably has a hundred thousand dollars in a bottom desk drawer."

Louise:  "If he didn't, he could just call Bill Gates.  He's very paleontological too."

Me:  "I think you mean philanthropic and again, it's Paul Newman with the salad dressing, not Clint Eastwood."

Louise:  "Don't be silly.  Clint Eastwood didn't invent computers."

Me:  "....."

Tansy:  "I don't want him to pay.  I want a bloodbath!"

Mom:  "At my last retirement home we had a man that wandered around looking like he was in an excited state.  Turns out he was just stealing fruit from the dining room."

Louise:  "Is that Huggy Bear?  I bet this is where he got his start."

Tansy:  "When do we meet the dog?"

Mom:  "There's no dog.  It's Deven's fault."

Tansy:  "Woohoo!  Shooting!  Wow, he's just firing bullets into the crowd.  They don't let them do that on Law and Order.

Mom:  "That's because the CSI Miami people would get them."

Thelma:  "Say you're feeling lucky!  Say you're feeling lucky!  Oh.  He's not feeling lucky.  Damn it."

****

Tansy:  "He's getting a new partner.  I bet this is where the dog comes in."

Mom:  "There's no dog Tansy."

Tansy:  "The Chief just said his new partner is Chico Gonzales.  It's going to be a police chihuahua!"

Mom:  "For Pete's sake Tansy, Chico is that Spanish man in the room with them."

Me:  "I want to see a movie about a police chihuahua.  They could call it Bloody Ankles."

Mom:  "Dirty Harry is a bit like you Thelma, he hates everybody."

Thelma:  "I don't mind being called Dirty Thelma.  Sort of has a ring to it."

Tansy:  "That boy with the ice cream will never know it was his lucky day."

Mom:  "Boobies!"

Me:  "Bob's not here.  Does anyone else need to go to the bathroom?"

Thelma:  "They'd have to be better boobies than that to make me need to tinkle."

Me:  "I'm sorry I asked now."

Mom:  "Is that Bruce Wayne that's going to jump off the roof?"

Louise:  "No, everybody looked like Batman in the seventies."

****

Tansy:  "He keeps looking into windows.  Maybe he's a Peeping Tom."

Thelma:  "Don't ever answer the door naked.  I'm talking to you Tansy."

Tansy:  "Then don't ring my bell after nine."

Mom:  "This is exciting and all, but why wouldn't they just stand by the building exits and nab him then?"

Louise:  "The way I remember it, this movie made a lot more sense in the seventies."

Mom:  "Remember how many people were getting buried alive back then?  It was a fad."

Thelma:  "It's a fad around here that people just get buried."

Tansy:  "I'm going to see what I can hide in my sock."

Thelma:  "That's all we need Tansy, you wandering around in ripped up knee highs with steak knives poking out."

Mom:  "Rats, he didn't get mugged."

Tansy:  "Maybe this is the part where the dog saves him."

Louise:  "There is no dog Tansy."

Mom:  "I bet this is a set up."

Thelma:  "This is a lot like a Rockford Files I saw.  Except it's not as funny and doesn't make as much sense."

Tansy:  "Shoot him!  Stab him!  Sic the dog on him!"

Thelma:  "Calm down Tansy.  Sooner or later the guy will die."

Tansy:  "Well sooner or later we're all going to die.  I just want to see this guy die."

****

Mom:  ::gasp:: "He's free?  Oh, he's going to have to kill him now!"

Me:  "Boobies!"

Thelma:  "Nope, still don't have to pee.  Why is he paying that guy to beat him?  Is he a pervert?"

Louise:  "He's a pervert, but he's having that guy beat him up to make it look like the salad dressing guy is stalking him."

Me:  "That's not... oh never mind."

Tansy:  "Did you see that?  He just whacked that guy over the head with a bottle!  WHACK!"

Louise:  "Kids aren't that stupid.  They would know this guy was a weirdo. And now days the kids wouldn't be singing Old McDonald, they'd be singing some kind of horrible song about lady butts."

Mom:  "If they had CSI Miami back then, this would have all been over with in the first half hour."

Me:  "Okay, so let me get this straight: Harry is a rogue kind of cop.  Shoots into crowds, doesn't follow orders, antagonized the bad guy, messed up an arrest that resulted in the guy going free after he murdered several people, but the city of San Francisco is picking him to make the second money drop?"

Mom:  "San Francisco is kind of a crazy city Deven.  That's probably why they picked it to shoot the movie in.  That and this was the seventies.  They did stuff like this in the seventies."

Me:  "Why do you think that?"

Mom:  "There weren't computers and cable everywhere back then.  You could do stupid stuff and it wouldn't end up on TMZ."

Tansy:  "He jumped on top of the bus!  Shoot him!  Shoot him!"

Thelma:  "Now where is he going?  Is this a gold mine?"

Tansy:  "SHOOT HIM!  SHOOT HIM!"

Thelma:  "If we get lucky, maybe it will be a murder suicide."

Tansy:  "HE SHOT HIM!"

Mom:  "Five shots or six?  Didn't he shoot about twenty times already?"

Louise:  "Well he's finally dead."

Mom:  "Those kids are going to need therapy.  That would have made a better movie."

Tansy:  "Ohhhhhh... I bet that's where the dog comes in.  They'll have the kids do that doggie therapy."

Mom:  ::rolls eyes:: "Yes Tansy, that's where the dog comes in."

Tansy:  "Did the salad dressing guy donate the dogs?"

Clint Eastwood dressing







 [For an index of Mom Day posts, including additional Movie Night posts, click HERE.]
 


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OK, back to read and rate.
At least he wasn't stealing salad dressing from the dining room.
They've called me Dirty Harry for years - for different reasons though...
I swear I shouldn't post so early in the morning. zzzzzzzzz
Good name repetition. Paleontological it is. I worry about Betty's friends, and what these movies might be doing to their brains.
Made my day as always. Thanks for the laugh.
This has the makings of a sit-com. Or a vaudeville act. Or a vaudeville sit-com. Coming from your Mom, wierd is kind of a compliment, though, really.
Do you have a brother named Al?

Yankovic?

That would 'splain a lot.
I have been sending these to a co-worker who one day is going to get us all busted with her hysterical laughter! She got to the part where Bob was missing and said, "Where is Bob? I miss Bob." LOL :)
I guess they moved movie night back to the afternoon. And I love that flier. I guess next you are going to have to watch Turner and Hooch just for Tansy.
Love the salad dressing! I'm sure violence in seventies films wasn't as bad as today's violence.
"Dirty Harry" was never one of my favorite movies. But Betty is still my favorite mom (next to mine, of course!). I so love your dialogue-writing skills, Deven. Rated. D
*rated

for fun & especially creative salad dressing label.
tansy is my new hero. too many of her best lines in here to pick just one.
Dirty Thelma, Unsnapped Tansy and Clint Eastwood... I can see the movie premiere already.
I think about Paul Newman all the time too!

Starting on Bloody Ankles now. I suppose you'll want some sort of story credit.
Julie - I've got a JRT named "Roscoe" who'd love to be a sidekick in "bloody ankles"...

I'm not sure I'd trust salad dressing developed by Clint Eastwood...
You are simply brilliant. I LOVE that you tell these stories in dialogue alone. I LOVE these movie reviews - and your mom and all the girls...missed Bob this time and hope he's okay!
lol - I'd buy that salad dressing!

I was just wondering last night if your mom's movie group would like "Predator" (my mom just saw it last week and loved it)
giggling here in my cubicle....:)
I suspect that perhaps many years ago, your Mom made a pledge to PBS and never received the Bob Ross coffee mug she was promised.

That would explain a lot.

Brilliant as usual.
In a previous life, either Tansy or Thelma was Ma Barker. Maybe they both were.
Always such a fun read, Devan.
Oh, I just love the 357 magnum salad dressing.
oh my god..this is hilarious.
Thanks for the humor break!! These ladies are my role models. And now back to my regularly scheduled shoveling.
Thanks for all the nice comments. I've got to admit this wasn't one of my favorite posts. I think this movie must have grown mythic in people's mind. It's really quite a mess, but I realize it was the first sort of anti-hero cop thing.

Next Monday it's Julie and Julia. I've been advised to keep the ladies hungry.
This is where the dog appears in the comments.
This may be one of my all-time favorites of the Movie Club posts.

(BTW, is the first rule of Movie Club that no one talks about Movie Club?)

I especially loved all the 70's comments...which were all true.
"Nature or nurture, I don't see how you're going to completely escape culpability on this one." I MUST use that like on my Mom. Thanks!
"Thelma: "Don't ever answer the door naked. I'm talking to you Tansy."
Tansy: "Then don't ring my bell after nine.""

God Bless Tansy!

For the record, my second favorite book as a child was No Roses for Harry... my favorite was Mrs. Piggle Wiggle's Magic. I haven't thought of that Harry the Dog book in ages. Thanks for bringing up a great memory!
I know where to find the next Roger Ebert, except the broadcast would be on the LSD channel.
That would work. Or estrogen. I'm surprised some of you liked this post so much, frankly the more I look at it the more I dislike it.
I cannot wait until next week.
Oh, God, this reminds me of my mother's movie nights at Mountain View here in Tucson! But...YOU....have a lot more fun! Of course, our BINGO nights, though...hard to top! Seriously...
Okay I had a few extra minutes and decided to go through some of your older post. This is as funny as all the others. I dare you to let them watch "Prime". I can imagine the response to that one. LMAO!