Fancy Rats

Diary of an Indulgent Rat Owner

Fancy Rats

Fancy Rats
December 31
In no particular order, I’m a writer, Beethoven groupie, and editor, spending most of my time reading in my flat overrun by my rats, Georgia, Minnie and Olivia. I have a book on flashers, Exposing Phallacy, soon to be published by Zero Books. The best insult I’ve ever heard is “buckle-bunny wannabe” and the best thing I’ve ever eaten is the raspberry cheesecake in Gaia on Leith Walk. I have a sunflower on my back and Laodamia down my thigh. I do most of my writing at


APRIL 17, 2012 1:23PM

My Man Ken

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I was recently asked by a journalist to write 100 words about what would or wouldn’t be attractive about Ken on a date.  I don’t know if she’ll use it so I thought I’d put it up here seeing as I wrote it.  Here’s my best shot.

I think the trait I’d find most appealing about Ken on a date is his seemingly indefatigable optimism. That smile never fades and those eyes never cease to sparkle. There’s a sense that, no matter what (Waiter spill gravy down your white dress? Set fire to the napkin with the romantic candles?), he’ll be there with a steady (actually, rigid) hand and smile to make your knees knock. It’s possible it’s a Prozac haze, but when someone looks that enthralled by every word you say and is, clearly, delighted to be there, it’s better just to assume he thinks you’re super.

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