Just one day after suggesting that illegal immigrants were responsible for setting the wildfires that continue to ravage his home state of Arizona – as well as engulf his current state of paranoia – John McCain stunned a Washington press conference this afternoon when he announced that there is “compelling evidence” indicating that the cow belonging to Mrs. Catherine O’Leary, long-believed to have been responsible for starting the conflagration that devastated the city of Chicago, Illinois in October of 1871, had, in fact, entered the city illegally.

“Sources I spoke with at the time who were responsible for investigating that fire believed that there was a possibility that the cow thought to have belonged to Mrs. O’Leary may have, in fact, escaped from the Union Stockyards during a fire of suspicious origin that occurred there some months earlier,” Senator McCain explained, “and nobody has ever found any permits issued that would have made it legal for that, or any other bovine for that matter, to reside in that part of the city.”

The Senator, dressed for summer in a white jacket adorned with brown leather straps that fasten around the back — giving his crossed arms a more relaxed look — also announced that he will formally propose the formation of a bi-partisan commission to investigate a possible link between illegal and/or fugitive livestock and other major fires over the last 140 years as soon as he returns from a scheduled visit to Bethesda Naval Hospital.

According to a senior aide, Senator McCain’s trip to Bethesda would “include routine visits with wounded soldiers as well as a yet-to-be determined period of observation.”

The same aide, when asked ‘who would be observing who’ declined further comment.

In other news: GOP 2012 Presidential hopeful Tim Pawlenty today spoke to somebody, somewhere, about something…

http://www.democratsforprogress.com/2011/06/21/mccain-%E2%80%9Co%E2%80%99leary%E2%80%99s-cow-entered-chicago-illegally%E2%80%9D/