She always knew.  She had tucked it away long ago.  Stuck it deep in the recesses of her mind.  But she always knew.  She discovered evidence shortly after they married.  She confronted him….gently.  He assured her all was well.  Nothing to be concerned about.  She chose to believe him, she was in love.  She destroyed the evidence.  In her mind that made it not real….if there was no evidence, how could it be real?  

They proceeded to live a normal life.  “Normal” as defined by society.  They lived in a normal house, drove normal cars to normal jobs.  She gave birth to two normal, well adjusted children.  They celebrated holidays, took vacations, attended family get togethers.  Their friends and co-workers envied them and their normal life.  Besides, she was much too busy to notice they weren’t normal.

It was always there though, that nagging doubt.  Little things would cause her to remember the evidence long ago destroyed.  Again she would stifle it, bury it.  She had other things to worry about.  A full time job.  Attending college at night to obtain the degree she had put on hold.  Raising her children.  Besides she was sure they would put it all back together when the children were less needy.  When she finished school.  When they weren’t so busy.  There would be plenty of time to find their way back to normal.  

But as the children got older and less needy, he became more distant.  She blamed herself.  She had put on weight.  She no longer felt attractive and sexy.  All of her overtures, her advances were met with a turned back.  She would get angry, then sad, then indifferent.  Until she no longer cared.

She decided to concentrate on herself.  She lost weight, he never noticed.  She started dressing sexy, he never noticed.  She became more confident, he never noticed.  If she noticed his indifference, she never mentioned it, never called attention to it.  His indifference was now normal.  

One day it dawned on her how unhappy and unfulfilled she was….this life, this marriage wasn’t normal.  She began to crave normalcy, crave what her girlfriends talked about.  She began to research normal, she hungered for whatever information she could find.  She joined chat groups, social networking sites….searching for people like her.  People who would make her feel normal.  She found them….and discovered there were others like her.  She discovered her life was anything but normal.  And she began to question why she had lived this way for so long.  

It still took her a while to summon the courage to confront him.  She was afraid of upsetting the balance.  Afraid of disturbing what had become comfortable, for in that comfort she had become comfortably numb.  Did she really want to know?  Did she really want to dig up a past long ago buried?  Was she prepared for a new normal?  

She had no choice.  His past crimes would have to be dealt with….no matter the consequences.  She confronted him again….gently.  This time he did not deny it.  She saw the anguish and pain in his eyes as he admitted what he was and what he had done.  And she knew from that moment on, her life would never be normal again….