The Peanut & The Pea

The Peanut & The Pea
30 mi from nice, Texas,
October 24
The Peanut & The Pea are a friendly duo in constant search of whimsy, hope and an excuse for a nap. They are both urgently trying to uncover what little redeeming qualities Dallas, Texas may or may not have. The Peanut will rarely post here. He's a little lazy when it comes to writing. His spelling is atrocious. The Pea, that's me, will do her utmost best to post here daily. Her grammar is atrocious. Both The Peanut & The Pea enjoy living in their own little world. They love their dogs, Beano & Edwina.


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JULY 22, 2009 10:35AM

'Twas Not a Flounce...

I was accused of flouncing back in April, when in fact, my last post on OS  was an April Fool's prank gone awry. I fully intended to return the next day. Then things happened.

Big things. Scary things. Taxing things. Fun things. Hands were tied and pencils were down.

The… Read full post »

APRIL 1, 2009 4:49PM

Dead at 5 Months of Age

The Peanut & The Pea blog, died on January 21 aged 5 months, was once described by The Squirrel as "verbose, self-indulgent swill with authors who will end up as somewhat successful pimps", which was true, though they were also a botched theatrical troupe, crack-smoking serial adulterer… Read full post »

JANUARY 21, 2009 5:31PM


How are you?

Seriously. I really want to know.

  Read full post »

JANUARY 17, 2009 10:50AM


Many of you are fans of the mysterious Squirrel andwe certainly know that the ladies can't keep away from him. But I know that I'm not alone in my curiosity, just who IS The Squirrel?

We all know there are those of you on OS who insist, nay, demand that we… Read full post »

JANUARY 15, 2009 1:50AM

Pea No Can Sleep

Pea no can sleep.

Pea is on new medications.

Make Pea not sleep.

Peanut is asleep, though, with Edwina, and Pea doesn't wish to interrupt Animal and Peanut Snuggle Time.

So maybe you indulge Pea and her random poetry?


Balsam of Myrrh  

Balsam of being here
With you and aRead full post »

JANUARY 14, 2009 4:43PM

Here's a shocker

for those of you playing along at home, here's today's email exchange between The Peanut and The Pea in regards to Peanut's Plight yesterday...


From: PEA
Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2009 1:47 PM
Subject: status?


Anything to report?


---------------------------------------… Read full post »

JANUARY 14, 2009 12:42AM

Are you there OS? It's me... Peanut..

Take this job and shove it 

Tonight the Pea will not be posting, alas, and instead, it is I...The Peanut. 

It would seem the planets have come into alignment.

The fates have decreed it so, what with American Idol premiering tonight and me needing the computer, for once the Pea, she gives it up, to… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 10, 2009 9:30AM

Saturday Laff - Now with More Squirrel - UPDATED AGAIN

The Squirrel

  Lady Detectives


Thanks, Barry! 

  Read full post »

I hate my hair...hate it...all I do with it anymore is wear it in a pony-tail or low pigtails...

If I post two old styles of mine, will you guys vote on what I should do? Because I just can't make up my mind. I keep wavering between chopping it all off… Read full post »

JANUARY 7, 2009 1:05PM

I sincerely don't give a shit...

about this Dr. She Who Will Not Be Named nonsense.

See, approximately 10 months ago I developed my own little mantra,'It is what it is. The only thing in this world I have any control over is my own behavior.'

I repeat this to myself somewhere in excess of five… Read full post »

JANUARY 6, 2009 11:29AM

Let me see your refrigerator door!

Some people sneak peeks inside medicine cabinets, others peruse unsuspecting homeowner's bookshelves.

 Me, I like to see what people have on their refrigerator door. Are they travel magnet people? Are they micromanagement freaks with lists and calendars? Are there photos? Postcards? Is the door… Read full post »

JANUARY 5, 2009 8:07PM

Edwina Is Sprung From The Pokey!

The Jailbird


And damn if she ain't happy!

Darling Dweenie came home and, after a much needed bath, was treated to a home cooked meal tonight and surprised with new toys.

Please know, all of you who commented and send private messages, we are so grateful for your comfort… Read full post »

DECEMBER 31, 2008 12:41PM

Edwina is in Jail

Edwina is in jail.

It all started Christmas day when my brother-in-law decided to bring his bull terrier, Rocco, over to celebrate the holidays.

I like bull terriers. They're smart, silly and full of life. However, my brother-in-law thinks that Rocco doesn't need manners and subsequently allows… Read full post »

The Peanut says:

1. I am utterly terrified of spiders. They are evil and rude and will kill you without thinking twice about it.

2. My favorite girlfriend broke up with me because she was a lesbian.

3. I hate shaving my face and shower only every other day.

4. I… Read full post »

Years before I was born, my MeMaw recieved a Boston Terrier puppy from my PePaw as an early Christmas gift. This was in the 1950's, so, of course, at night my Memaw would lock up poor little Sniffles in the bathroom in case he decided to go P-O-T-T-Y.

On Christmas morning… Read full post »

DECEMBER 22, 2008 2:04PM

Happy Holidays, Ya'll

I, The Pea, apologize for my continued 'quietness.' Its hard to explain, but I know that it is temporary. Bear with me.

Happy Holidays from The Peanut, The Pea and Edwina!


snowman goodness  Read full post »

DECEMBER 10, 2008 10:55PM

Cary Tennis makes me prose-y

Years ago, I read a Cary Tennis piece that inspired me enough to go after it with a figurative x-acto knife, a few of my own words, and some hubris and then turn it into a piece of prose I could keep around to refer to now and again.

Since I'm not up… Read full post »

DECEMBER 2, 2008 9:48PM

fuck. ok. i did it.

i put my best friend to sleep tonight.

i'm at.

 i dont want to go home.

i know it was the right thing to do.

his mouth got really dry. i hated that. the licking, the tip of his tounge sticking out.

im sorry.

ive no one else to talk to,… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 19, 2008 9:43AM

Well, crap...

To whom it may concern,

Work has finally launched our blog, of which I'm Editor in Chief.

I've been doing the work of about three writers, so I've not been much in the mood to write on Open Salon lately.

If you want to come visit from time to time… Read full post »

Umbershoot asked folks to answer these questions with song I did.

Who are you?
And I'll take a beer from the 'fridgerator,
And go sit out in the yard and with a cold one in my hand,
I'm gonna bite down and swallow hard.
Because I'm older now: I've got no time to cry.… Read full post »

Many years ago I was on a road trip with my ex-husband.

At approximately 4 a.m. we pulled into a truckstop diner for a bite and some much needed coffee.

As I parked the car, I noticed a little person and his companion walking out of the diner.

My ex-husband,… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 7, 2008 5:43PM

Does This Mean I'm a Cougar?

Some of you know that The Peanut & The Pea are now married...

The Peanut is 10 years younger than me, The Pea, and honestly it's never caused much of a problem.

Until today.

I was looking through old photographs and stumbled upon this one taken of The Peanut last summer… Read full post »

Personally I'm sick as hell of reading how we Texans are ignorant, racist fools, who will willingly and blindly follow any and all Republicans to the ends of the Earth.

The thing that galls me most is that I see the majority of this misinformation being spewed by active, non-troll (sorry,… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 29, 2008 5:55PM

Alright already...

So after a few email pokes...

The Peanut & The Pea have been very busy...

Very busy eloping.

The details:

My dress was $7.99
Our rings were $50 ea.
The Vespa was borrowed.
We got married in our friend Ulysses' bar in Fair Park for free.
Our minister was from South Africa and the Peanut… Read full post »

OCTOBER 14, 2008 11:40AM


Inspired by a commenter in yesterday's post, I investigated this Freaky person...

I was shocked upon further sleuthing to discover this:


Freaky is a fraud