Afternoon. It me, Pokey. Hello. You Daddy’s reader, but Daddy not here. Daddy’s reader get Pokey instead. You lucky.

Pokey here cause Daddy take nap. Daddy out work late last night and Pokey got up Daddy early to play on play mat, then did not want Daddy leave room for coffee. Why Daddy need coffee so bad? Is not Pokey playing on play mat awake-ment enough? Pokey think so but Daddy no agree, so Pokey cry and cry and cry when Daddy leave room so Daddy have to stay in room, never get coffee until after seven. Daddy grumpy, Daddy use words Daddy promise Mommy Daddy no use, so Daddy not much in mood for Pokey today.

That acceptable to Pokey since feeling mutual. Pokey not in mood for Daddy. Feeling very mutual. Daddy no talk to play mat elephant. Daddy only talk to play mat monkey and toucan and frog. Why Daddy no talk to elephant, Pokey wonder. What elephant ever do to Daddy, that Daddy shun elephant so? Does not Daddy realize how Daddy make play mat elephant feel, when play mat elephant see Daddy talk to all other creatures in play mat kingdom? Does not Daddy realize that him make elephant feel outcast exactly same as playground kids make Daddy feel outcast when Daddy young boy? Evidently, Daddy not realize. So maybe Pokey and Daddy need ‘apart time,’ which is why Pokey agree blog for Daddy. Pokey take time out blog of his own for post on blog of Daddy’s. Pokey blog readers denied, must go without, until tomorrow, when Pokey return to blog of Pokey’s own, which have more readers than blog of Daddy’s, but Pokey not mention this tidbit to Daddy since Daddy’s pride is so ever-fragile. Pokey not know how Daddy react if Daddy learn a ten-week …

Now Pokey wonder where is Mommy with boob.

Pokey hungry and bored. When Pokey hungry and bored, nothing satisfy like Mommy’s boob. Pokey’s spot gets hit, but good, by Mommy’s boob. Either left or right. It matter not. Pokey see no difference. Left, right, they both go in mouth just the same. One at time, though. One at time. Two at time greedy and mouth no big enough fit both, though thought of two at time in mouth make Pokey smile and giggle and punch air with both fist and make sound like happy fire engine siren racing to fire. Weeeeee-oooooooooooo. Weeeeee-oooooooooooo. Weeeeee-oooooooooooo. Just like that.

Pokey see out window but Mommy no out window. Pokey see light and clouds and bird on brown tree that have no bird friends to sit with it, only one bird that perhaps lonely but no Mommy. Pokey not scared. Pokey have feeling that just because Pokey no see Mommy does not mean Mommy no exist, does not mean that Mommy not somewhere else in house, with boobs. Mommy somewhere. Just not in Pokey’s field of vision.

Pokey think something that make Pokey frown then Pokey forget what Pokey think so now Pokey content. Though still hungry and bored. Pokey wonder if life in rut.

Maybe Pokey need new friends? Pokey have many friends, but maybe they holding back Pokey? These interesting questions for pondering later when boob in mouth and facing window to look out. Ponder if friends adequate. Pokey have play mat friends but Pokey friends not limited to play mat. Pokey’s friend horizon broad. Pokey have two more friend, just off top Pokey head. There’s this friend here. This friend Orange Stupid Bug Face.

He okay. He make lot of noise. But he fun. More fun than this friend. This friend Sweepy Sweepy Jammy Jam.

All Sweepy Sweepy Jammy Jam ever want to do is take nap. Nap, nap, nap, nap, nap. Pokey swear. You know who should be Sweepy Sweepy Jammy Jam’s friend? Daddy. That who. Sweepy Sweepy Jammy Jam and Daddy should be friend. They could nap all day then wake up then take more nap. (Did reader notice pictures? Daddy blog posts not normally have pictures. But Pokey blog posts do. Chew on that, Daddy.)

Now Pokey want push out fart. How much fart come out? Pokey never know in advance. Pokey only know in retrospect. Post Fartum. Pokey smile at wordplay.

Pokey want push out, but fart no want leave. Pokey wait for time to be right. Pokey no want fart early, cause then fart not complete fart. Only fart part. Okay by Pokey. Pokey no mind wait. Pokey have more time than fart have. After all, where else Pokey have to be? Pokey but ten weeks old!

While on subject of Pokey … Pokey sometime wonder what is Pokey real name. Pokey hear many different names, in course of Pokey’s day. Pokey hear Pokey called Buddy. And My Guy. And Old Bean. And Heir to the Throne. And Biscuit. Many people call Pokey these words. Mommy sometime call Pokey Signore Awesome. Daddy sometime call Pokey Big Chief Thunder-Bottom. Truth told, Pokey prefer be called Signore Awesome.

Even though Pokey not know what it means. It simply shorter and Italian. And come from Mommy who bring boob to table. What Daddy bring? Precious little. Pokey here to tell you. Daddy bring precious little to table.

Pokey really wonder where is Mommy now. Pokey needs boob. Not too much boob. Pokey does not want spoil appetite for later boobs. Pokey now just want little from one boob. Like amuse bouche of boob. Pokey not sure what amuse bouche, but Pokey hear amuse bouche on Top Chef, which is show Mommy watch when Mommy bored and need break from Pokey playing.

That all Pokey have time for today. Daddy told Pokey not go over a thousand word. Pokey a little over. Big deal. What Daddy gonna do, ground Pokey? Where punishment in that? Pokey no go anywhere. Pokey not walk yet! Pokey not even crawl! Pokey flip on one side, but that it! Pokey on one side and sit there til help come! So Daddy’s Pokey punishment is hollow and Pokey know it! This make Pokey smile and giggle and Weeeeee-oooooooooooo. Weeeeee-oooooooooooo. Weeeeee-oooooooooooo.